Sorry for the lack of recaps. I was under the weather but feeling better. Honestly, nothing really happened on the show....until today.
Big news so far: Vivian admitted today she soiled herself in that sarcophagus. TOLD YOU SO
Brady is becoming more and more badass with Nicole as his accomplice.
But today was Melanie day. Melanie told off Nathan for keeping Chloe's affair a lie...wait until she finds out Carly was involved. Momma is going to have no one except that Bo guy who loves the thin chick. Melanie BITCH SLAPPED Chloe who yes is pregnant but its not like she kicked her in the womb. Chloe had it coming and the show is getting good. praise Jesus!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
All My Crypt Sex
So I am a bit under the weather and slow but I will keep this recap short today.
Brady and Nicole start doing it in the Crypt! Brady took his shirt off and that is all you really need to know. Vivian is being a bit of a complainer considering she is getting live action free porn right before her eyes. Brady could be mean and never speak to her but he is nice and puts on a free show! Pretty sure Nicole is going to keep her mouth shut about Viv as long as her legs are open. YES I WENT THERE!
Rafe is boring, Roman is boring, EJ is pissed, and Sami is still a big whore with to many children. I miss the old Sami, not this one who tries to cover up she shot the bad guy. EJ thinks he shot himself which is amazing considering where he was shot, but we will allow him to be slow considering he has a brain injury. Stefano pisses him off some more when he learns Sami tried to pull the plug on him. Love how it was conveniently left out that even Lexie thought it was a good idea to pull the plug.
In Old people news: Victor touches Maggie's hand, which is like second base to their generation. It was kinky folks and I think Maggie is feeling randy. Melanie and Phil realize that Victor is outbidding them on all the houses they want so that they stay at Maggie's. This is an expensive version of foreplay but Maggie seems to be flattered. Melanie pulls a fast one on Victor and tells Papa Vic that she will be teaching him how to play Mah Jong. Okay not for nothing but I would love to see Melanie and Victor bonding. If Victor was smart he would use Melanie (in a nice way of course) to get closer to Maggie. Magic is going to happen people!
Brady and Nicole start doing it in the Crypt! Brady took his shirt off and that is all you really need to know. Vivian is being a bit of a complainer considering she is getting live action free porn right before her eyes. Brady could be mean and never speak to her but he is nice and puts on a free show! Pretty sure Nicole is going to keep her mouth shut about Viv as long as her legs are open. YES I WENT THERE!
Rafe is boring, Roman is boring, EJ is pissed, and Sami is still a big whore with to many children. I miss the old Sami, not this one who tries to cover up she shot the bad guy. EJ thinks he shot himself which is amazing considering where he was shot, but we will allow him to be slow considering he has a brain injury. Stefano pisses him off some more when he learns Sami tried to pull the plug on him. Love how it was conveniently left out that even Lexie thought it was a good idea to pull the plug.
In Old people news: Victor touches Maggie's hand, which is like second base to their generation. It was kinky folks and I think Maggie is feeling randy. Melanie and Phil realize that Victor is outbidding them on all the houses they want so that they stay at Maggie's. This is an expensive version of foreplay but Maggie seems to be flattered. Melanie pulls a fast one on Victor and tells Papa Vic that she will be teaching him how to play Mah Jong. Okay not for nothing but I would love to see Melanie and Victor bonding. If Victor was smart he would use Melanie (in a nice way of course) to get closer to Maggie. Magic is going to happen people!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
The Nothing and the Even More Nothing
Okay the show seriously bored me today, and the free Chinese food plug did not help. On a side note: Rafe and Sami get horny when they eat orange chicken..DISCUSS! This is the short short version.
EJ is lying and faking amnesia....BITCH! Lexie is also being annoying because she is pretending to be a good bad doctor. It does not suit her and she needs to have her annual 3 year affair on Abe.
Vivian is starting to smell and Nicole finds out she is in there. Nicole should just help Brady and not make matters worse. By help Brady I clearly mean remove his shirt.
Kate offers Chad a job and he assumed she was hitting on him. This is actually a reasonable reaction considering who he is dealing with.
Other than that NOTHING happened. NOTHING. Slow Day!
EJ is lying and faking amnesia....BITCH! Lexie is also being annoying because she is pretending to be a good bad doctor. It does not suit her and she needs to have her annual 3 year affair on Abe.
Vivian is starting to smell and Nicole finds out she is in there. Nicole should just help Brady and not make matters worse. By help Brady I clearly mean remove his shirt.
Kate offers Chad a job and he assumed she was hitting on him. This is actually a reasonable reaction considering who he is dealing with.
Other than that NOTHING happened. NOTHING. Slow Day!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
As the Chloe Waddles
Okay you all win and I'll do a blog today. I'll make it short because this episode was really boring with the exception of seeing Phillip half naked. He just does it for me.
Simply stated: Kayla and Stephanie are annoying and I want them to go away. Stephanie is one of the worst written characters EVER and Shelley Hennig, I love you, I love your hair, and you deserve better than this crappy character you are forced to play. At least Shelley is NOTHING like her character in real life because then we'd have a real problem. Anyways Kayla came back to this show to really just be a pain in the ass and mention how much she hates Carly. She doesn't tell Daniel anything about Chloe though and assumes that there was not a paternity switch but just a computer error. So now mother and daughter have teamed up to find out who the daddy is. At this rate Patch will be coming back to re switch the test results and claim he slept with Chloe. I CANNOT TAKE THIS!
EJ is still pretending he is married to Sami. Lexie sucks as a doctor and is afraid to tell him the truth. So if EJ wanted a pony would they just bring it into his hospital room? Apparently so! The only good thing about this story is how annoyed Rafe is by all of this. He just stands in the background growling and mumbling like the Roman clone that he is. Rafe is one step away from being an ape. Then of ALL people, JOHNNY, SON OF A DIMERA AND A BRADY, tells the truth! Clearly this kid was switched at birth! How dare he rat out his mother like that and say they are living with Rafe.
Carly wants to know who Chloe had an affair with alllllll of a sluttttten. I just want to know who dresses her and why she won't get changed! Next thing she will ask is if Chloe's sexual partner was tested for any known diseases. Then she will ask his ethnicity to make sure the baby wont be born African American. Chloe then waddles on over to Phillip and they decide to scream out loud about their affair at the PIER. Really? Stop discussing your SEX! Yes we like you two naked, but enough with the SEX talk! Phillip and Melanie also have sex in this episode, but the real shocker is when they are not having sex Phillip is not wearing a suit. It has been months since we have seen in in normal everyday clothing. Okay I miss the suits now or have him be nude more. Oh yeah they also buy a house but we don't care about that. Chloe and Daniel are going to get married, Phil and Mel are happy, soooo the secret should be coming out soon to ruin EVERYTHING! Melanie also talks about Nathan being in love with her but Carly suggests she made the right choice with Phillip. WRONG AGAIN MANNING!
Okay so September is almost over and we have to make it through ONE MONTH of nonsense before we get: NOVEMBER SWEEPS. I suspect a baby being born of course and the secret coming out at the supposed park wedding. Vivian will probably get out around that time, or at least get a pee reprieve. Arianna will find out Sami shot EJ and then get killed in a car accident. BOO! Maggie and Victor better hook up. I also suspect Hope will lose about a pound...sorry bad things happen.
Simply stated: Kayla and Stephanie are annoying and I want them to go away. Stephanie is one of the worst written characters EVER and Shelley Hennig, I love you, I love your hair, and you deserve better than this crappy character you are forced to play. At least Shelley is NOTHING like her character in real life because then we'd have a real problem. Anyways Kayla came back to this show to really just be a pain in the ass and mention how much she hates Carly. She doesn't tell Daniel anything about Chloe though and assumes that there was not a paternity switch but just a computer error. So now mother and daughter have teamed up to find out who the daddy is. At this rate Patch will be coming back to re switch the test results and claim he slept with Chloe. I CANNOT TAKE THIS!
EJ is still pretending he is married to Sami. Lexie sucks as a doctor and is afraid to tell him the truth. So if EJ wanted a pony would they just bring it into his hospital room? Apparently so! The only good thing about this story is how annoyed Rafe is by all of this. He just stands in the background growling and mumbling like the Roman clone that he is. Rafe is one step away from being an ape. Then of ALL people, JOHNNY, SON OF A DIMERA AND A BRADY, tells the truth! Clearly this kid was switched at birth! How dare he rat out his mother like that and say they are living with Rafe.
Carly wants to know who Chloe had an affair with alllllll of a sluttttten. I just want to know who dresses her and why she won't get changed! Next thing she will ask is if Chloe's sexual partner was tested for any known diseases. Then she will ask his ethnicity to make sure the baby wont be born African American. Chloe then waddles on over to Phillip and they decide to scream out loud about their affair at the PIER. Really? Stop discussing your SEX! Yes we like you two naked, but enough with the SEX talk! Phillip and Melanie also have sex in this episode, but the real shocker is when they are not having sex Phillip is not wearing a suit. It has been months since we have seen in in normal everyday clothing. Okay I miss the suits now or have him be nude more. Oh yeah they also buy a house but we don't care about that. Chloe and Daniel are going to get married, Phil and Mel are happy, soooo the secret should be coming out soon to ruin EVERYTHING! Melanie also talks about Nathan being in love with her but Carly suggests she made the right choice with Phillip. WRONG AGAIN MANNING!
Okay so September is almost over and we have to make it through ONE MONTH of nonsense before we get: NOVEMBER SWEEPS. I suspect a baby being born of course and the secret coming out at the supposed park wedding. Vivian will probably get out around that time, or at least get a pee reprieve. Arianna will find out Sami shot EJ and then get killed in a car accident. BOO! Maggie and Victor better hook up. I also suspect Hope will lose about a pound...sorry bad things happen.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Pet Cemetery Passions
The GOOD News: EJ woke up. The BAD News: He is pretending that he is married to Sami and cannot remember anything else. BOOOOOOO! This is boring and Rafe only makes it worse with his stupid ass theories that Will shot EJ. Even after Sami informs Rafe that Stefano has proof Will did not do it, Rafe is convinced Will did it and the evidence will pile up. Rafe is a F&*^ING MORON! Yes I censored myself because ten bucks says Rafe wouldn't figure out the word I used. Of course no one will tell EJ the truth because Lexie thinks she knows what she is doing and the truth will kill EJ. WHATEVER!
Chloe continued breaking up with Nicole and acted like a mean girl to her. She tells her that she has no friends and that she doesn't feel safe with her. Apparently these two were secretly having sex and we were avoiding the truth. Nicole goes to visit her dead dog Pookie. I wish Pookie could have lived longer and Rafe could have died instead. Annnnnyyywayyyyss, Nicole overhears Brady moving "Sparkles" aka Isabella's body from the pet cemetery. French Stewart is guest starring which is kind of weird in an "I'm surprised they didn't write an alien storyline" for him kind of way. Status of Vivian: Still in Coffin, has eaten more than Hope who is in jail, and still has to pee.
Nathan talks about how he dislikes Chloe with Daniel, which leads Carly to believe Nathan and Chloe had the affair. Ewwwwwwwww! To make matters worse, Kayla is back to annoy the crap out of Stephanie and Stephanie reveals the whole baby test switch to her mother. Kayla goes on a huge lecture about what Stephanie is doing is wrong and how sad Steph is for being so desperate. Stephanie then decides to throw a hissy fit and start screaming, but nonetheless she is a pathetic hot mess. Stephanie and Nathan are becoming so pathetic that they might actually deserve each other just not on my screen! P.S. Daniel is catching Rafe's stupidity disease, and Chloe needs to tell Carly that she dresses and does her hair badly if she were REALLY her BFF!
Chloe continued breaking up with Nicole and acted like a mean girl to her. She tells her that she has no friends and that she doesn't feel safe with her. Apparently these two were secretly having sex and we were avoiding the truth. Nicole goes to visit her dead dog Pookie. I wish Pookie could have lived longer and Rafe could have died instead. Annnnnyyywayyyyss, Nicole overhears Brady moving "Sparkles" aka Isabella's body from the pet cemetery. French Stewart is guest starring which is kind of weird in an "I'm surprised they didn't write an alien storyline" for him kind of way. Status of Vivian: Still in Coffin, has eaten more than Hope who is in jail, and still has to pee.
Nathan talks about how he dislikes Chloe with Daniel, which leads Carly to believe Nathan and Chloe had the affair. Ewwwwwwwww! To make matters worse, Kayla is back to annoy the crap out of Stephanie and Stephanie reveals the whole baby test switch to her mother. Kayla goes on a huge lecture about what Stephanie is doing is wrong and how sad Steph is for being so desperate. Stephanie then decides to throw a hissy fit and start screaming, but nonetheless she is a pathetic hot mess. Stephanie and Nathan are becoming so pathetic that they might actually deserve each other just not on my screen! P.S. Daniel is catching Rafe's stupidity disease, and Chloe needs to tell Carly that she dresses and does her hair badly if she were REALLY her BFF!
Friday, September 24, 2010
The Booze and the Restless
Short and sweet for this weekend:
Nicole and Chloe BROKE UP! I'm am SOOOOOOO sad! The greatest subtexual lesbian couple on this show is OVER. You do NOT break up with Nicole. Who will teach the baby about booze? Who will teach the baby to lie elaborately? Not Chloe! Chloe can barely read. Nicole would have been the perfect AUNTIE, NOT CARLY! Carly just stands around lecturing people and that is why they don't like her! Nicole warns Chloe that Carly is a manipulative bitch...SHE's NOT EVEN that!! This is a sad weekend and I vote that everyone partakes in fancy cocktails and lies to someone they love in honor of Team Chlicole being over.
In other news: Rafe is a moron. Can he die instead of Arianna? I know it is too late to ask but still, Rafe needs to stop putting me into a coma, and stop being such an idiot. Sami just basically confessed and what does Rafe do...HE IGNORED HER! Oh yeah and EJ woke up. He keeps asking for Samantha which you really shouldn't do when Arianna wants to massage other parts of your body. I know you were shot in the brain EJ but that does not mean you can act like Rafe. NO EXCUSE!
Have a good weekend everyone!
Nicole and Chloe BROKE UP! I'm am SOOOOOOO sad! The greatest subtexual lesbian couple on this show is OVER. You do NOT break up with Nicole. Who will teach the baby about booze? Who will teach the baby to lie elaborately? Not Chloe! Chloe can barely read. Nicole would have been the perfect AUNTIE, NOT CARLY! Carly just stands around lecturing people and that is why they don't like her! Nicole warns Chloe that Carly is a manipulative bitch...SHE's NOT EVEN that!! This is a sad weekend and I vote that everyone partakes in fancy cocktails and lies to someone they love in honor of Team Chlicole being over.
In other news: Rafe is a moron. Can he die instead of Arianna? I know it is too late to ask but still, Rafe needs to stop putting me into a coma, and stop being such an idiot. Sami just basically confessed and what does Rafe do...HE IGNORED HER! Oh yeah and EJ woke up. He keeps asking for Samantha which you really shouldn't do when Arianna wants to massage other parts of your body. I know you were shot in the brain EJ but that does not mean you can act like Rafe. NO EXCUSE!
Have a good weekend everyone!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Bold Ass Baby Bump and the Baby Shower
Kayla is BACK! and guess what?! NO ONE GIVES A SHIT! GO ANNOY SOMEONE ELSE AND TAKE IAN AND STEPHANIE UNLESS THEY WRITER HER BETTER WITH YOU! Also, you know the character sucks when she ruins what could have been good looking people naked having a boring sex scene! Speaking of the girl Ian, he is coming off extremely stalkerish now. Didn't Stephanie already have a stalker? Please not again! Daniel meets Ian after the little girl has a motorcycle accident...which does not make that girl anymore manly honestly. Nathan gives him a hard time again, and guess what...STILL BORING! Daniel even threatens him....this cannot get worse.
Just checked the sarcophagus and Vivian is still in it! Brady even sits on her and it is not so kinky as it sounds. Essentially the bitch is going to be stuck in there for all eternity.
Stefano tells Kate that he has proof that Will did not do it, but Sami's fingerprints are on the box that had the gun in it. Stefano and Kate admit it would have been weird if Will's prints were on it because they love each other and would then be at each other's throats. I honestly enjoy the fact that they were concerned they had to hurt each other and genuinely cared...awwww! They are like the evil version of Maggie and Victor. Will is nice enough to visit EJ and ask him to die. That's sweet, and hopefully EJ won't listen. On a positive note Arianna massaged EJ...I just won't say which part.
It's BABY SHOWER TOWN!!! Let's play WHO DA DADDY! Chloe is now pregnant with a 24 month old child in her 5th month of pregnancy. She LARGE! Nicole goes to buy "soda" which we all know is code for a Martini Run! Everyone knows that before a baby shower you need to get hammered to be able to sit through it. While out Nicole runs into Brady and he still wants nothing to do with her. This leads to Nicole doing shots....it is the little things like this that make me love Nicole. Soooo she shows up to the realllllyyyy boring Girlie Baby shower and Carly starts slapping her a little. Either this is a good sign for Team Narly or a Realllllllyyyyy BADDDD one. Then she makes a comment about Chloe wronging Daniel and Melanie makes a "sayyyyy whattttttt bitch" face. Way to go Nicole...you now have no more friends...welcome to Carly's world.
Just checked the sarcophagus and Vivian is still in it! Brady even sits on her and it is not so kinky as it sounds. Essentially the bitch is going to be stuck in there for all eternity.
Stefano tells Kate that he has proof that Will did not do it, but Sami's fingerprints are on the box that had the gun in it. Stefano and Kate admit it would have been weird if Will's prints were on it because they love each other and would then be at each other's throats. I honestly enjoy the fact that they were concerned they had to hurt each other and genuinely cared...awwww! They are like the evil version of Maggie and Victor. Will is nice enough to visit EJ and ask him to die. That's sweet, and hopefully EJ won't listen. On a positive note Arianna massaged EJ...I just won't say which part.
It's BABY SHOWER TOWN!!! Let's play WHO DA DADDY! Chloe is now pregnant with a 24 month old child in her 5th month of pregnancy. She LARGE! Nicole goes to buy "soda" which we all know is code for a Martini Run! Everyone knows that before a baby shower you need to get hammered to be able to sit through it. While out Nicole runs into Brady and he still wants nothing to do with her. This leads to Nicole doing shots....it is the little things like this that make me love Nicole. Soooo she shows up to the realllllyyyy boring Girlie Baby shower and Carly starts slapping her a little. Either this is a good sign for Team Narly or a Realllllllyyyyy BADDDD one. Then she makes a comment about Chloe wronging Daniel and Melanie makes a "sayyyyy whattttttt bitch" face. Way to go Nicole...you now have no more friends...welcome to Carly's world.
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