Friday, February 11, 2011

Let's Get Rid of Taylor and Keep Fake Rafe!

Parker better hope he is SORASED in the next 24 hours because the kid is going to have to learn to make his own bottle, turn off the stove, and change and feed himself before Chloe kills him. I feel bad that Chloe is a terrible mom considering all she wanted was a kid all her life. She was making the baby cookies.....HE IS NOT EVEN ON SOLIDS YET! Can someone just step in already, get her help, and then take care of the kid? Also, Dear Days, there are ways of showing a mother with PPD without making her look bat shit crazy and endangering a child's life, but I digress.

Melanie is going to team up with Kate to take away Parker. By the time they do it Parker will either be in the oven with the cookies, or 15 years old and dating Syndey. Also, Nathan and Melanie are just not going to happen so can we please stop seeing scenes where he declares his love and she looks like she has a stomach ache? I'm done with that nonsense.

Rafe number 2 and Sami had sex. He gave her a hickey and I'm pretty sure that was DOOL writers kinky version of sex. How EJ and Stefano gave the Rafes matching Penis I will never know but you have to admire them for their dedication and accuracy. Rafe learns he has a double, and I think like the rest of us he likes the new him too. EJ and Nicole also have sex. I'm pretty sure no one used protection in either scenario so there will be more babies to give cancer to, kidnap, fake their deaths and leave in burning homes.

This week ended with EJ bumping into Taylor, turning around in a dreamlike state and falling in love at first sight. What a load of complete horse shit. This bitch is not special and she has chemistry with no one but a mirror. The whole town loves Taylor for no reason whatsoever. Somehow I think this is actually mocking Carly's return where everyone hated her. FOR WHAT REASON is Taylor in town? I don't get it nor am I liking it. Apparently Lexie is her new best friend, which makes perfect sense since Abe slept with her mother....YEAH IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! Also, would I buy EJ eventually falling in love with Nicole's sister if she lives in town for a while...yeah sure. Do I buy that he bumps into a random chick and is smitten instantly?...NO! It's completely out of character for EJ and another thing...Taylor sucks.

To catch you up on the Hope drama..She is finally out of jail. Now it will only take her and Bo about another three months to get their shit together. JOY! Carly is all by herself and crying constantly. I feel like I should be paid to watch this! Jen wants to get her and Daniel together. WORST IDEA EVER! One..Daniel does not date women his age, Two...EWWW. Jen and Daniel will get together as she tries to get Daniel with Carly. I don't think I am going to like that pairing either but you know what, if it stops Daniel and Carly then THANK GOD. Jen gets special kudos though for having the fastest heart transplant of one's own heart surgery ever with full recuperation. Way to go!

Special mentions: Carrie made an appearance, I'm still not sure why. Sami and Carrie getting along......APOCALYPSE! They NEVER got along and life is better that way. Eww. Just Ewww.

Will.... Still Gay. messing with Stefano and Kate. Dear Vivian, either torment Carly or leave town. Do not screw with the wonderful that is Stefano/Kate and Victor/Maggie. The old couples are ALL we have going for the damn show!

Special Shout Outs: Johnny...just because he is the best actor/character on the show that I can tolerate completely anymore.

Parker: Anyone stuck with Chloe for that amount of time is just....God Bless Him.

Rafe number 2's penis. You apparently look like Rafe number one's penis but you are just a sparkling personality on our screens. You are always standing out in scenes with Sami.....and Nicole.....and Gaby......and Brady. WOW!

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