Friday, April 30, 2010

Bad Hair Days of Our Lives

Daniel is with Carly, who even thinks she should not be there either. Carly should teach Daniel all about how men should behave around their girlfriends. Melanie and Phillip arrive with booze, because these people need it. You know you have a great daughter when she brings you booze as a get well gift. Daniel and Carly are left alone in the end, and she AGAIN has to explain that Chloe does not want her around. Daniel is apparently blind still after surgery. Also, Daniel and Carly need help picking out their wardrobe for the day. They are not on vacation and all this white is offensive.

Meanwhile Chloe begs Nathan to not tell anyone about what he overheard. Nathan is angry that she cheated on Daniel, and luckily Stephanie interrupts the conversation they were having because it is going nowhere. Chloe is having a hard time understanding that she's an idiot. Eventually Chloe finds the hotel guy who lied to her, and he tells her someone was yanking her chain....which makes Chloe think back to all the times she wore a dog collar during sex. Stephanie finds a drunken Phillip calling himself a bastard....Melanie who is a legitimate bastard talks to Nathan. So everyone is talking to people they used to have sex with...except Chloe who just sleeps with everyone.

Sami and EJ discuss moving in, but she's still not sure. EJ wants Stefano to help out a bit by going with a "I'm dying" look. Sami talks to Caroline about the whole thing, and poor Caroline is going to have a heart attack. She wants her to talk to Marlena because she needs counselling!!! Caroline thinks Sami is a MORON!! So after the 80th person warns her not to....Sami agrees to move in. Stupid!

Hope interrogates Nicole, who really didn't do anything. There was no real point to this only to show that Nicole is a bitch and Hope is an annoying bitch. Nicole goes to Stefano asking for help. She vows to make him look bad in the, it's Stefano? The whole town pretty much knows he is evil. This is NOT breaking news. Hope is working really hard to catch herself. Cannot wait until she get to arrest herself, handcuff herself, and read herself her rights. Baker is playing cards and winning lots of cash. He goes to leave town but that crazy version of Hope stops him. Okay Crazy Hope needs to stop wearing the same outfit...that outfit has not been washed!

Previews: Stephanie tells Adrienne that nothing/no one will get in the way of her happiness. She should have just said that she is going to trap her boyfriend in a loveless relationship by getting pregnant. That is always a good way to get a guy's respect and love. Look how it worked out for wait. Yikes. Crap Stephanie is going to try to breed! Scary!

Chloe tells Phillip that the slut set her up. So now Carly is a slut now? What the hell does that make Chloe? Chloe doesn't even wear underwear so that the town has easy access. Maybe Chloe feels threatened by Carly's eyebrows and the fact she can raise them higher?

Hope tells Baker that they are just beginning. Well is this story going to go anywhere?? That would be nice. This isn't Hope, this isn't Gina...its a hybrid character Hona!! HONA! The Man hating pistol whipper.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

As the Mia Turns HO-ier

Okay I'm like the quick and easy recaps. If you like this format better let me know!!! I figure the entire episode summary gets trying especially with episodes that are essentially throw aways. Leave me a comment if you like this format better/worse. Thanks!

Rafe and Sami engage in the same exact argument they always have: EJ SUCKS! Rafe thinks she might be the biggest moron on the planet if she moves in with the DiMeras, but Sami thinks she's doing what's right for her children......try spending more time with them first before you make these big decisions Sami. At the end, Rafe seems to track down Anna...which means its SWEEPS time soon!!

Mia is......say it all with me gang...STILL A HO! This time we get a more conniving HO! She tries to use Madeline to get back with Chad and of course has to bring up her dead baby. Then she uses Random boy who works at the Cafe to make Chad and Will jealous. It does not work, and Taylor Swift goes home empty handed.

Kate is worried about Madeline threatening her, and she tells Stefano all about it. These two women go back to the days when they had their original noses and frown lines. Stefano meets Madeline at the PIER and works his threatening mojo, while Madeline makes it clear that she has something on Kate and Stefano. Whatever she's bloody, like Kate's hands. Kate imagines blood all over her hands...Thinking she stuck her hands into her Botox needle drawer but could be wrong. She tells Will to stay away from Chad. Still making me think these two were PROSTITUTES!

EJ gives Nicole her interview, all while saying she was the one behind the whole thing. He does not remember Baker, who is trying to skip town after realizing Hope is a weirdo detective who cannot find Uranus. Hope questions EJ, and they figure the mugger may be a woman because the person was shorter than EJ.....that could literally be ANYONE! Hope is hot on the trail of.......well herself! Nicole cries to Brady about anything, and Arianna is still a pain in the ass who doesn't realize Brady loves Nicole.

Previews: Nicole tells Hope that EJ is trying to frame her. Can they discuss this at the local burger joint?

EJ tells Stefano that he trusts Sami. How much changes in one whole year when he wanted wiped off the face of the Earth last year. Now he thinks Samantha is the most AMAZING thing ever.

Caroline rages at Sami. This was actually scary because Caroline is cranky!! She jumps on the Sami is a moron party train! Taking care of all of Sami's kids has really aged Caroline. YEESH!

Extra Special treat! The Days Promo for May and June!! Enjoy all of the Kiriakis wives getting together for a group shot. You can even spot Crystal Chappell and Ari Zucker giggling. Also Hope just basically bashes the whole town over the head!! When is it Bo's turn??? And most touching...the return of fan favorites for the Frances Reid (Alice Horton) memorial! Enjoy!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Botox Party and the Beautiful People Who Didn't Go

This was NOT a good episode. It was a Wednesday episode that accomplished literally nothing. To post on it is offensive enough as it is. However I will offer plot points. It would have been nice to see the Botox party in Salem....who attended is my question!

Julie and Hope talk about Ciara and pill addiction today. Hope ignores all of Julies advice and gets more pills. Thanks for wasting all our time! Let's talk about your not eating problem instead. Maybe the pills would work if you took them with food.

Lexie and Arianna both have arguments with Nicole and she wins both of them. Nicole gets her way and interviews EJ in the hospital. Because in the real world an ex con gets to interview her ex-husband. EJ says he recognized a mugger...but has not yet named Baker.

Speaking of Baker..he owes some Steroid looking guy money. He runs into Hope, and she has no idea who he is. This makes me want to sell my Ambien on the black market.

Mia is still a little ho bag.

Probably the ONLY good plot points today are with Madeline and Kate. Madeline and Kate tell Chad and Will to stay away from one another. Then they confront each other and it is clear that they have a past and Madeline has something over Kate's head. Prostitutes who worked the same corner!!!!

Previews: Tomorrow looks like another doozy! Kate tells Stefano that they have a problem. Maybe they ran out of Botox from the party they attended early in the day.

EJ is gonna get Nicole. Yeah, no he won't. Keep dreaming.

Rafe tells Sami that EJ wants more than his kids. Sami makes that confused face. She is shocked someone wants her children.

Monday, April 26, 2010

One Rapist's Life to Save

Vivian blames Carly for being a homewrecker...well technically Chloe and Daniel share an apartment so she is a Apartmentwrecker. Amazing how Carly is to blame for every relationship breaking up. Let the Manning plague continue. Chloe's life sucks because she is a whore. Chloe breaks down again for us screeching that she is so sorry. Melanie wants to know what she is sorry for....and why she stole her own crying fit time. Chloe flashbacks to hot Phloe yes please!

Nathan and Stephanie are on a date at that bar that is going to be the new PIER. Not even alcohol can make Stephanie interesting.

Rafe is at Stefano's house. Stefano wants to talk to him about Sami moving in, but Rafe thinks its none of his business. Stefano asks if Rafe still loves Sami...and now Stefano is the relationship guru all of a sudden. Meanwhile Sami is trying to help EJ who is near death after being mugged by Hope. She wants to leave to get help, but he won't let her. Welcome to the Rapist love hour!

Stefano keeps pushing for Rafe to answer, but Rafe thinks Stefano is wondering if Rafe is going to be a problem for him. Rafe IS the problem and he should go away. Stefano is apparently GOD and needs to know how everyone feels. Rafe thinks EJ wants Sami to move in, but doesn't know why EJ wants to live with Stefano. Stefano felt like reminding us that he is Italian, and Rafe wants to know what changed EJ's mind......because everyone in town is SO consistent. We then return to Sami screaming for someone to help EJ......someone help them so she can shut up! She screams 911!!! You are supposed to CALL that number!

Carly explains she did nothing to Chloe, but Vivian insists Carly is a homewrecker. Same old fight that needs to get better! Where are the bad acting daydreams because those are always fun? Daniel is wondering what Chloe did, and Chloe thinks Daniel deserves the truth. Definition of "truth": A term used on Days of Our Lives to describe the events that only come to light during Sweeps, and usually in a shocking manner. When "truth" is used in a sentence it is usually 98.7% of the time followed by a lie.

Stefano says that "time heals all wounds" and again TIME does NOT exist on this show. Now Rafe is using the term 180...God help us all. He doesn't believe EJ would just change his mind because Stefano is sick, but would help bury Stefano. Clearly Rafe does not know EJ..he would hire men to bury Stefano! Sami starts with the CPR and why does he need CPR, why would he stop breathing?

Phillip gives Chloe the "don't ruin my life skank" look. Chloe says it is not important, but Daniel wants to hear what she has to say anyway. My God what drugs is this man on and can I have some? Apparently Chloe feels the need to express how good a friend Phillip is and how he listened to her problems. Daniel interrupts the story....thank God...and blames himself for the whole thing. Daniel thanks Phillip for being there for Mel. This moment is so sleepover???

Nathan explains to Stephanie what the damn LETTER said. He says that Mel made it clear that Phillip is her choice. This somehow means Nathan is over Melanie...if only it worked that fast in real life.

Stefano explains that EJ and him are both thinking of the children and how Sami sucks as a human being and a mother. He wants Sami there so he can keep an eye on her. Don't really like this plan and would prefer a kidnapping and a microchip in this instance.

Baker is still playing with EJ's credit card...would have totally went on a shopping spree already. He calls someone for EJ's PIN...maybe its 1-2-3-4-5! Sami is still a mess, and EJ tries to get up, and this time there is kissing. Where is a rape whistle when you need one??

Phillip excuses himself and Chloe from the room so Mel and Dan can talk. Daniel tells her to not worry about his vision.....yeah she is clearly not concerned about that at all. In fact, she would like you to be blind so you cannot see how guilty she is. Phillip gets a phonecall and Chloe goes to talk to Carly.....why is anyone's guess. Chloe is sorry about everything, and thanks Carly for helping Daniel. Carly says it was all Yang....her new secret lover. Wow these two are such good friends that Carly is now invited to the family sleepover!! Vivian is having a heart attack.

Nathan and Stephanie are still talking...and poor Adrienne has to walk up and be seen with them. Nathan goes for more beer, because to be around Steph you must be drunk! Steph tells Adrienne that Nathan and Melanie are over....which means they will have sex sometime around the end of the summer.

*whistling* That was not a rape whistle that was just me waiting for the kiss to be over. Sami calls for help. The EMT arrives and he calls for an Ambulance.....on the is an ambulance getting on the PIER??? Also Rafe knows the real reason EJ wants Sami back.....but it's going to be wrong and we actually have to wait until after the break to find out how wrong it is.

Melanie feels the need to share her love life issues with Daniel, who is more than willing to listen. Yeah, this is not normal sorry, and don't care who you are. Melanie says she has no feelings for Nathan and thinks the whole thing made her marriage stronger. Looks like Melanie got the clueless gene from Carly. Phillip and Chloe are at the cafe talking about their "mistake." They both realize they are idiots and think that no one should ever know about their sexcapade....which is why they are speaking about it in loud whispers at a public establishment. Oh, look its that rascal Carly Manning!

Vivian is annoyed that her plans all suck.....I'm annoyed to Viv, because your plans are always better than these travesties! Bad writing!

Rafe doesn't mention why EJ wants Sami back......confused: party of ME! He thinks Sami will not stay there long....well if her kids are there, she will NOT be there as much. Stefano will make sure she stays. Rafe finally asks the big question of What does Stefano have on EJ? He should have brought the truth serum if he really wanted answers. EJ is in the hospital and lucky for him Lexie is his doctor. She works!! And it looks like Sami gives good EJ grabs it.

Adrienne hopes things work out for Steph and Nathan....really she just hopes to excuse herself from the table. She mentions that her and Justin are over...thank God for now or until Justin grows a pair. Nathan brings beer, but gets a phone call. Stephanie thinks everything is just swell now between her and Nathan......dear Lord, break these two up forever.....thank you. Nathan is THE ONE...actually with Steph's track record he is like THE FIFTH.

Daniel just loves his honest daughter. He thinks it is all because of Maggie's influence...then who is to blame for the spazzing panic attacks because I'd like to write them a stern letter?! Melanie thinks Daniel is honest, but he insists he is no saint and makes mistakes. Yeah, like one night stands of unprotected sex with random female colleagues who put out because their husband is a raving psychopath and we are both drunk and wasted.....just one example.

Phillip and Chloe are having a we suck party...and who walks up but the ultimate sucker...CARLY! Seriously, she is all up in other people's business lately. Phillip leaves to go see Melanie and Carly notices that Chloe looks upset. Since when does Carly notice things?? and Chloe always looks like that...its called being dumb. Side note: when people call you miserable bitch...they usually DO NOT want to be friends with you!!!

Stefano says he and EJ are family....well good to know because that had already not been established. Lexie calls her father and tells him about EJ, and Stefano then tells Rafe. It's like Telephone!! Can Rafe call Roman, who will call Hope, and then call Abe???

Baker has to convince the guy on the phone to steal from EJ....did we really need this scene? EJ has one bad headache and has no idea what happened. He does remember Sami being there for him and thanks her. She says that EJ already showed him how thankful he was....yeah with his tongue thanks. EJ claims to not remember, and Sami has a flashback. Where is my damn whistle? Side note: James Scott is mighty mighty fine...that is all.

Stephanie feels the need to poke her nose in her aunt's divorce now. UGH. Nathan has to leave and get to the hospital. He kisses Steph goodbye and they will continue the date another time. Can this time be offscreen?

Phillip comes to Daniel's room, but Melanie has stepped out. Daniel explains that Melanie told him everything....even Phillip thinks that's weird. Daniel is happy with the way Phillip treated his daughter.....Thinking Chloe got the real treat. Oh Yeah!! This is awkward on so many levels that the ramifications can only be explained via a diagram and some alcohol. Daniel then makes a death threat, and poor Phillip is going to throw up.

Vivian worries that Chloe will tell Carly what she did....don't worry Viv she is not that bright to figure it out. Carly thinks Chloe looked, Carly was having delusions, panic attacks, and seeing her dead husband everywhere....great way to judge others there Manning. She thinks she should move on and forget the argument she had with Daniel. Really glad that Carly feels the need to be Chloe's life coach, when her OWN life is not so great. Spread the failure Carly!

Stefano and Lexie talk about the attack on EJ. Rafe just this cop work is impressive! EJ wonders how he thanked Sami, and she changes the subject and here is Rafe popping his head in and not saying he is there!! This just got the right amount of uncomfortable.

Vivian decides it is time to go on a killing spree...Dammit then changes her mind. That could have been fun to watch. Then she announces that she has nailed it....well it cannot be Victor so no clue what she is talking about yet.

Stephanie realizes she us just being used for sexual favors, but hey she does not mind at all!! Her and Nathan are on their way to at least one divorce. In their effort to forget their affair, Phillip and Chloe decide that phone calls about their affair is important. Chloe announces that if ANYONE found out about their AFFAIR everything will be over......and look there is Nathan. Yeah Nathan is not DEAF folks!

Baker gets EJ's PIN number and steals money. Stefano is angry that the police be fair if they did not suck, Stefano would never have gotten away with anything. Boy, did that come back to bite him in the ass. EJ insists on knowing what Sami is talking about, but she only cares that he is okay. If something happened to EJ she wouldn't know what to say to the kids....that would mean you'd have to acknowledge and talk to them. Not your style Sami! EJ touches her cheek....on her face.....and says he is not going anywhere. Rapist love wins!!! And Rafe leaves to hopefully go cry somewhere and eat ice creams.

Previews: Kate tells Will that she doesn't mind Chad, but his parents are another story. Okay, the way Kate said that...mind totally went to Cougar storyline. Kate has that track record.

Madeline says that the DiMeras could ruin everything...Still thinking she was a prostitute in the good old days!! Her and Kate so worked a corner together.

Arianna tells EJ that when he finds out why she is there he is going to throw her out. Couldn't she just save him the trouble and leave?? BTW when are these two going to hook up?? The constant flirting and scenes together has not gone unnoticed. Proceed people!

Guiding Chloe...Through Hysteria!

Vivian and Gus....which leads me to the daily question: Where is IVAN?? Gus still thinks this whole Chloe/Carly plan is a bad idea....he is not the only one! This is beneath Vivian, who can come up with a better idea than this. The real question is how does Vivian get all of her manservant's to call her "Madame"? Does she put it in the want ads?

Chloe is about to open her big mouth and admit that she's a moron and a whore. Daniel is hopped up on so much drugs that Carly fed him, he has no idea what she is talking about. By the way, shouldn't Carly leave the two of them ALONE, and not be intruding on their time together? Ohh Sex Time Flashbacks...we need more of these! Phillip is with Melanie who is telling him how much she loves him, not Nathan. Phillip wishes he had this information which Melanie responds that she is too LATE is what Chloe is going to be come May Sweeps.

Sami is acting a fool.....News at 11. Will should take the kids and raise them himself.

Hope pistol whips EJ and he falls down....still not sure how she reached his head he is so damn tall. Baker says that was a bad idea because EJ knows Hope is going to kill EJ. This new Hope talks as cliche as regular Hope....where is the change?

Carly is still being a toucher and a creeper now. Chloe wonders how Daniel is doing and he says he can see clearly now the rain is gone. Not really. Daniel wants to know why Chloe said she ruined everything. The look of panic on Chloe's face would be a dead giveaway to smart people, but lucky for her she's in a room with Carly and Daniel.

Baker yells at Hope that she cannot kill EJ. Wow even he must know that Hope is a terrible shot. She says he is right and that Baker CAN kill EJ. Well the Doctors in this town are known for being really bad at their jobs.

Gus does not drink...another reason to dislike him. Gus doesn't understand why Chloe is being used in Vivian's plan against Carly. Does someone have a mini crush on Chloe???? Awwww Gus! Chloe doesn't understand how Daniel had surgery.....Draw her pictures please. Daniel explains that he didn't want to get her hopes up, that Carly helped with the surgery, and wonders if she got his message. Chloe wonders what has she which Daniel replies...what have u done? To which Carly comments...I need an aspirin to follow this conversation.

Melanie wonders if Phillip is going to leave her because she was unfaithful with her heart. Well he was unfaithful with his penis, so think he's gonna stick it out with you. Melanie explains she did nothing physical with Nathan, because that would be the most UNFORGIVABLE thing to do to cheat PHYSICALLY. Melanie is having her daily freak out, Phillip says she did nothing wrong, and Melanie just thinks he is the most swell man on the planet. Phillip says he made a huge mistake....and we all know Mistake is Chloe's nickname.

Okay this kid Johnny needs some Ritalin mixed with Ambien. No wonder they never show him! He is throwing another tantrum and wants his daddy. Baker will not kill Daddy EJ, who is starting to wake up. Nevermind Hope just kicked him in the head......okay THAT was funny to watch. EJ has deserved that since the whole baby kidnapping scheme started.

Chloe explains that Daniel left a crappy message not saying HE was having surgery. Blame the writers Chloe! Chloe thinks she should have been there....what to assist in the surgery? Daniel is sorry for the fight they had, and Chloe is sorry too. Carly is still watching them, and it's bugging me! She finally interrupts them and says she has to examine Daniel. Chloe leaves to call Phillip and loud whispers to herself that she must call him to make sure Phillip DOES NOT BLOW THEIR SECRET! Melanie has no idea what Phillip is talking about and wonders what mistake he made. He only slept with your future stepmother...but to be fair to him, he did that a long time ago already.

Will is probably looking at porn...good for him! Sami chloroformed Johnny so he would shut up. She comments that Johnny likes EJ more than Sami....well thanks Captain Obvious. Maybe if you showed him affection and time he'd like you more. She's upset again that Sydney does not call her Mama. Will has to comfort his mother....this kid needs to get laid. Sami thinks EJ is right and she has to move in for the children. Will thinks she is crazy...Will is seriously the audience spokesperson these days.

Baker checks out EJ...medically and not in a kinky way. She was just testing the Doctor, and proceeds to rob EJ. She throws away his phone, and that large wallet gets its own closeup. It's fancy and from Target!

Sami wonders why its okay for Will to live with the DiMeras, but not her. God poor Will cannot get away from his annoying mother. She doesn't like that him and Stefano are BFFs....I don't like that she is using terms like BFF. Sami LEAVES her kids again to go find EJ.

Gus learns that Chloe is at the hospital and Viv is so excited she runs to go see the Carly/Chloe smackdown. Chloe leaves Phil and message and thinks that Carly is eavesdropping. Normally when people listen in on your conversations YES that is eavesdropping. Carly acts like she knows everything, but really her bun is just tight. Phil doesn't care who is calling him because Melanie and him are more important. He says he made a mistake and that he walked in on Mel and Nathan kissing. He wants to be completely honest with her since she was honest with him. Righttttttttttttttt.

Baker does not want to deal with that lunatic bitch Hope. Hope is so offended she points her gun at him. Sami finds EJ and starts asking him if he is okay....NO he is UNCONSCIOUS! Most people do not lay by the PIER Sami!

Carly suspects that Chloe called Phillip in order to reach Melanie. Chloe in her weird way apologizes to Carly for her behavior earlier. Carly has no clue as to why Chloe is rattled....her body must make noise when she walks. Chloe explains that her and Daniel had a fight, but Carly still doesn't understand why Chloe is upset. Wow someone is taking nosy lessons from Maggie. Chloe is trying to get her story straight, and Carly tells her to go see Daniel. Carly then stares off into space which implies she is either bored or suspects something is up....why is she smart all of a slutten?

Phillip explains he got drunk after seeing the kiss. Melanie figures he was drunk driving, well yeah he was but Phillip is like No big deal! Melanie gets all concerned he could have been killed. Carly interrupts's like her role of the day....and she informs Melanie that Daddy had surgery. Melanie wonders why she wasn't told, but thanks Carly for taking care of her Dad. Phillip and Melanie are happy Danny's vision is fixed. Melanie mentions that Chloe is with Daniel, and Phillip shits a brick and insists on going with her.

Baker apologizes to Hope for calling her a lunatic...not for calling her a bitch. He cannot even sink so low as to apologize for that. Hope goes to shoot him, but the gun is not she is a bitch! Then Baker calls her a little thief....LITTLE...he meant THIN! EJ starts to wake up, and next to him is a huge pool of blood. Maybe he fell on those icy spots..they are on the offensive lately. Sami wants to know who did this...great question the guy with a head injury.

Vivian imagine that Chloe and Carly have it out. For some reason in Vivian's dreams people are BAD ACTORS! It's so fake and unconvincing, and Vivian needs to dream better. The weapon of choice is either a nail file or a scalpel....too bloody to tell but regardless Chloe stabs Carly with it. Instead Viv gets to watch as Melanie and Phillip run in and thank Carly for everything. Vivian is pissed because that was unexciting....yeah watch Days Vivian THEN complain.

Hope was just messing with Baker...would have been funnier if water came shooting out. She picks the targets to rob: ALL MEN! So the new Hope HATES is this different then the old one? EJs head hurts and.....that's all.

Mel and Daniel talk about the surgery and how well it went. Phillip and Chloe keep looking at one another all guilty. Daniel can tell Melanie was crying....she does that everyday and its pretty much a sure bet! Maxine wonders if everything is okay between Carly and Chloe after the "miserable bitch" comment. Viv is getting excited is she in for a load of boring.

Hope insists on the ONLY MEN thing. She gives Baker half of EJs wallet, but wants to keep the wallet. Maybe she likes to sniff leather? EJ is muttering and Sami has NO phone on her...what a bad mom! EJ asks Sami not to leave his side...Um, he is not dying and this is very melodramatic.

Vivian calls Carly a's getting old like Viv's hairstyles. Meanwhile Phillip and Chloe try to excuse themselves because Daniel and Melanie are going to talk, but Mel insists they stay. Melanie explains that her and Phillip had a fight..and Chloe breaks down like an insane freak. She starts screaming for forgiveness. Phillip needs to smack her.

Hope adds EJ's wallet to her under the bed collection. Can she steal someone's pajamas because the ones she is wearing are WOOF?! Baker plots to use that limey bastard EJ DiMera's platinum card. EJ is all pale and confused, and about to pass out again....and here comes the ALMOST kiss.

Previews: Chloe tells Daniel he needs to here the truth. She is going to admit she has been spray tanning and not sunbed tanning. This may forever change their relationship.

Rafe and Stefano talk about the reason EJ wants Sami back. Perhaps he likes torture and being with Sami means ultimate torture. OR how about he wants to breed more, and Sami is just the most fertile woman in town?

Sami performs CPR on EJ while shouting he is not going to die. Well way to spoil the ending Samantha! Question: who taught Sami CPR and why does EJ NEED CPR for a head injury?

Friday, April 23, 2010

Days of Our Sex Lives

Rafe was sleeping, and he cannot even do that right. He dreams of Sami and him having sex, then wakes up like it was the worst nightmare of his life. That was a lovely and tender scene! Sami thinks EJ is insane for wanting her to move into the Mansion. EJ thinks its a good idea and has its advantages....I think showering has its advantages too EJ......get on it!

Maggie is standing around confused by Melanie, who is finally convinced that her and Phillip are going to be happy. She must not watch this show. Phillip is with Chloe at her place, telling her that his wife is in love with another man. Carly still has that damn bun in her hair...make it go away! Daniel tries to call Chloe but he is woozy and going cross eyed....kinda like the Days audience. Chloe and Phillip talk about how much Daniel and Carly suck, and Chloe breaks out the thing she could have done! She announces that Carly and Daniel are having sex in a sleazy motel and she is sad she is not there to hold the camera.

Hope is boozing it up with Edmund from All My Children...or Doc Baker in this case. Either way get her some pretzels.

Sami wonders what is up with the new agey EJ. She will not move in with Stefano. EJ is still playing the Stefano is ill card, and Sami does not really care. He blames everything on Nicole and Baker and NOT on his father. Stefano is always innocent on this show do to technicalities. Baker is still with the faux Hope, who will not share her name. Guessing it is NOT Hope, and if it's Gina she is being weird. Hate it when alternate personalities act up. He hits on her, but she wants none of that...maybe this new Hope is a lesbian.

Will and Stefano are playing chess. Stefano is going to win..calling it now. Exciting stuff!

Rafe turns over in bed. That was literally the scene. Thanks Days!

Carly shuts Daniel up, and wants him to calm down. He just wants him some Chloe. Phillip thinks Chloe is being a tard for thinking Daniel and Carly are having sex. She tells him the story she literally made up in her head of Danny and Carly doing it at the hotel. Cheating apparently runs in the family because they call out Danny and Mel for being huge cheaters....who of course never really cheated. They say they've been played for fools.....wasn't hard for Chloe.

Rafe shows up at Sami's and EJ interrupts. Rafe offers to leave. Apparently this is Rafe Day on SPEED.

Maggie opens up a can of soda and its really loud. Sorry, first interesting thing to happen. Melanie tells the Nathan coming over story. She is committed to Phillip and chooses him, but that Nathan had to go and kiss her. Maggie peed a little and looks annoyed. Mel explains that its all over.....until SWEEPS!

Phillip is sad about the Melanie situation. Chloe says she does not deserve Phillip. He goes in and kisses her. HOT! Carly roofied Daniel, who still wants to talk to Chloe. Wanting to talk to Chloe this much means he really must be on some hardcore drugs. Carly is going to text Chloe for Daniel so she knows where he is. Chloe stops Phillip and asks what their doing. Does she really need a diagram to explain what they are doing? Phillip does not know nor does he care...he throws her down on the sofa and they go at it. Clearly not the first time Chloe has done it on a sofa.

Stefano beats Will at chess....told ya! Stefano is wearing his green handkerchief and tie for Green modern of him! Will wonders about his siblings moving in, and Stefano explains that things change...yeah like people's ages and backstories on this show!

Sami tells Rafe about EJ's offer to have her move in. Rafe thinks Sami is's like Rafe gets a half-day today or something with these scenes.

Baker thinks that Hope is playing games with him. She whips out her.............................gun. There goes my transvestite theory.

Melanie says that her and Nathan are OVER. Maggie is impressed with Melanie's is are we! Mel is going to tell Phillip everything...and if that is not shocking enough...she will do it all in the SAME EPISODE!! Did anyone faint at this news?

Carly pounds those keys and texts Chloe....saying that message out loud because we all do that! We see a fireside view which is lovely, but the cheesy music needs to really go! She rips off his shirt...buttons go flying. Who knew Phillip bought his shirts at Target? And there goes her Bra....and they tumble to the floor. There is so much skin....Need a cigarette! They are done with each other and Phillip tells Chloe not to talk....that's what I've been saying! She checks her phone, and Phillip struggles to his knees and cannot walk to check his phone. Phillip's hair is wet....not going there.

EJ lets Stefano know where they stand in the Sami situation. He thinks they have hit a snag and someone stands in their way......*whispers* it's Rafe. Rafe thinks this is a dumb idea, and he loves her. Is loving her also a dumb idea? He says EJ is manipulating her. DUH!

Baker notices Hope is packing heat...and he is a DOCTOR everyone! This storyline is LAME and better get interesting FAST.

Phillip and Melanie need to have a Chloe is putting her clothing back on. Phillip is going to have it out with Melanie and Chloe is going to do the same with Danny. Luckily the audience gets treated to the standard "We just had a one night stand" speech. Chloe is so angry that she picks up that ugly photo of her and Daniel and throws it at a plant. The Plant got it worse than the picture.

Hope and Baker...blink and you miss them...I blinked!

Sami and EJ are co-parents and will decide what is best for THEIR children. Why not cut off Rafe's balls? Sami is upset Sydney does not call her Mama...maybe that is because she is NEVER with you!! Try bonding with the kid! Sami is just a huge failure in all things. Rafe tries explaining that moving into the mansion is a bad idea, but Sami's brain is not functioning.

Phillip comes into the house screaming for Melanie. She runs in and bear hugs her man. She picks him!! Chloe arrives at the hospital and calls Carly a "miserable bitch" Well Carly is miserable so yes this is true..but not a bitch. Had she said "Miserable Moron" I may have given my full support. Melanie tells Phil the WHOLE TRUTH, which is rare on this show considering no one is blackmailing her. Melanie is crying/hissy fitting, and Phillip is groaning.

Maxine is all in Chloe's face for talking to Carly like that. Carly is like "eh used to it" attitude. Carly explains that Daniel just got out of surgery, which he was in all night. Chloe accuses her of lying saying she asked, and they left, but Maxine says Carly is telling the truth. Chloe has that POOPED HER PANTIES look to her face.

Rafe gets a call from Stefano......that's it!

Will goes over his mom's house and asks about her moving in. Sami of course throws her typical tantrum as usual and will go talk to EJ...she meant YELL at EJ. EJ runs into Baker at the PIER, and screams YOU YOU'RE DEAD! Well no he is not, and have you met your father? At least we got the KNIFE SWOOSH sound effect.

Melanie loves Phillip and he looks very sad that he cheated. He starts saying that he wished he had known which Mel replies before what....*whispers* before he banged his future mother in law. Chloe visits Daniel and starts saying she should have known, as Daniel wakes up and Carly creeps in the background. Everyone feels guilty.....where is the pregnancy test by the way?

Stefano has information for Rafe...great! Sami leaves to go talk to EJ.....Hope hits EJ over the head with her gun. Baker is worried because EJ knows who he is, so Hope suggests that EJ die. At least this version of Hope is smarter than the original, but just as thin dammit!

Previews: Chloe asks what she has done..and Daniel says what have you which Carly responds why are you both talking like that?

Phillip tells Melanie he made a huge mistake. Thinking he meant that he slept with a walking mistake named Chloe.

Baker tells Hope she cannot do this, as she is pointing her gun at EJ. Well she CAN do it, but she WILL not. Since when is killing people a sin on this show?

Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Dumb Chloe and Phillip's Restless Hair

Hope is putting on that Red lipstick...maybe Hope is a transvestite now. She is totally packing heat and I do not mean a penis, I mean a gun!

Phillip is on the phone and telling work he is sad to be leaving his wife for the first time. Now that is a husband. Melanie gets a visit from the God Nathan, while she is trying to run away for dear life. Nathan thinks that Melanie is avoiding him. She can barely look at him because the beauty is so hard to look at without crumbling.

Justin is bugging Hope as usual, but this time she has a gun.....USE IT!

Johnny now hates Sami too! Sami needs a mother of the year award. Kate Gosselin is more popular with her 8 rugrats. All her kids want to get away from her. Johnny WANTS HIS DADDY! EJ is sad that his kids are not with him. He wonders if telling Sami how he feels will work in getting her to move in. Why is no one drugging or brainwashing her?? Its a new century and technology should have advanced!

Yang makes Daniel numb...was not hard at all apparently. Daniel tells Carly he left Chloe a message. Carly is wearing serial killer gloves that she must have borrowed from little SeeWhoreA to operate. Yang comes back and they are ready to save Daniel from the perils of double vision. Chloe is going to rip this orderly a new a-hole! We've gotten used to the fact that Carly and Daniel do NOT work at the just needs to sink in for Chloe.

Johnny is a violent brat who must hang out with SeeWhoreA. All the children on this show need therapy. Although if Sami was my mom I'd revolt too. EJ is wondering if Sami loves him in return. Listen, just get back together already and ruin everything, but at LEAST use protection this time! We have enough kids on this show!

Justin checks on "Hope" who should just use that gun and SHOOT HIM!

Johnny still wants his British daddy who he just likes having around because of the accent. Sami is a bad mom and gives in to his temper tantrum. Now he is bossing her around and telling her to open the door Johnny knows how to control his mother already! EJ arrives and saves the day....or duct tapes Johnny's mouth.

Phillip reschedules his meetings to spend the night with his wife. Awwwwwww. Melanie is not avoiding Nathan, but wants to quit her job to well avoid him. Nathan takes her hand and wants to talk. Where is Stephanie by the way?? Shouldn't she be eavesdropping or peering through a window?

Hope's alter gets rid of Justin. Can she do this on a regular basis? Couldn't she have called him something demeaning?

EJ has the magic touch.....sounds like a sex toy! He is giddy like a schoolboy and is so happy to put his kids to bed. He thinks Sami is beautiful....let's all hold each other. Nothing is sweeter than rapist love. Maybe they can talk about roofies and plot serial raping.

Orderly man tells Chloe that the gossip is that Carly and Daniel are having the hairy sex with one another. Daniel is Jonasing Carly's Manning. He tells her they went to a kinky hotel....think Chloe strangely knows the place, its location, and room rates.

Nathan knows that he cares about Melanie and she cares about him. She tells him not to tell her how she feels....yeah that's Maggie's job! Please tell him how you feel because this story is getting way too dragged out!

EJ lies and says he took the kids to Disneyland, when really he danced with them and watched Wizard of Oz. Glad we heard this story!

Chloe is shocked they went to the Mercer motel...that place is FANCY! Chloe needs to just go home and have some ice cream. Calm down! Vivian thanks Orderly Greg for everything. He wants to know why he just did all of that and feels kind of guilty. She explains that Revenge is fun..however, this just really ruins Chloe's life not Carly's but hey it's all good.

Melanie tells Nathan all about the letter....that WON'T go away! Nathan gets excited over the letter saying that she would leave Phillip for him. Nathan plants a huge wet one on Melanie....he also kisses her. She kisses back and while making out Phillip arrives and sees them through the door. He is so sad that he should just find Chloe and have some sex with her. AHEM. They finally stop making out, and Melanie says this was goodbye. If that was goodbye what does Hello look like?

Chloe goes to the sleazy hotel....funny the owner looks like he knows her. Popular customer? The motel guy is the man who is Italian and always in Italian mafia movies. Chloe checks their names, but there is no confirmation they are staying there. She shows a picture of Daniel, and hotel man looks turned on.

Phillip is drinking. HOT! Justin arrives, which causes Phillip to drink more.

Sami explains that Lucas is taking Ally to Hong Kong...which explains her missing child! All of Sami's kids are trying to get the hell away from her! EJ asks if Sami misses Rafe. She explains she lied and wonders why EJ forgave her lies. Clearly he is horny and wants more children. EJ goes all Wayne Dyer on Sami and about how they have kids and that is a bond. Oh just get together already!! Then break up again!!

Hope walks on the PIER and says she is on her way. This new Hope is already pissing me off.

Hotel/Motel guy is no help to Chloe and says Daniel MIGHT be have tons of sex. Chloe is going to crap her panties.

Phillip is so upset that his hair is in his face. BAD NEWS!! Phillip announces that he is an idiot....why can't Justin have that realization instead? Justin starts giving Phillip advice, and Phillip brings up Adrienne....THANK YOU!! Someone buy Justin a muzzle. Melanie tells Nathan she will NOT leave Phillip. Her and Nathan are DONE.......until sweeps.

Vivian paid the Hotel guy to lie to Chloe too. Wow people in Salem are so easy to bribe. Gus thinks her plan is a bad one..which is a very Ivan moment for him. Where the hell is Ivan though?? Seriously where? Carly sits with Daniel who is asking for Chloe. She grabs his hand and says Chloe will be there....why is your hair in a ponytail Manning?? UGH Chloe goes home for a drink to stare at a badly Photoshoppped picture of her and Daniel.

Phillip is drunk at the PIER...his hair has gotten worse, somehow reflecting the inner turmoil he must be going through. He flashbacks to Melanie telling him she loves him....which causes him to drink even more. Okay I love Phillip but his hair is shockingly bad when he is drunk. Was he headbanging? Melanie has feelings for Nathan but will not act on them and wants him to do the same. Another dumb idea!

Sami has flashbacks to Sydney's birth with Dr. Baker. EJ reminds us that Baker is dead...which means he is not. EJ wants to think about the future. I'd rather read a Hallmark card. Hope is playing poker and she's playing against the DEAD Baker man. WOW I can't believe he is still alive.....said sarcastically.

Vivian wonders why Gus is such a Crepe hanger?? HUH? That was the best they could do? At least she calls Chloe an Opera Screecher! Daniel focuses on Carly's's sexy and he sees one. How can he focus on her finger with her hair like that dammit? Daniel is happy that Carly talked him into surgery and wants to tell Chloe the good news. Chloe is still looking at fake photos and drinking. Phillip arrives drunk and gives her that "LET'S DO IT" look.

Nathan accepts Melanie's choice and he will move on. Where is that Second Choice Stephanie "I'll Sleep with Ya" Johnson? They are DONE, but will still be friends and colleagues....RIGHTTT. They hug and this is finally over for now.

Hope won a ton of cash and Baker wants her to buy them drinks...GO FOR FOOD!

EJ wants Sami to move in with the kids. Sami is freaking....probably because she has to bring the kids.

Previews: Melanie tells Maggie that Phillip and her will finally be happy. Well way to jinx that! Total jinx and now only bad things are going to happen for the two of you. Even Maggie was like DOH why did you say that?!

Phillip attacks Chloe's face. She literally just stands there as he chews at her mouth. Not Pretty!

Sami tells EJ that she will never live at that house with his father. RUDE! There are plenty of places to hide from Stefano there. Plus, have you met your father? Yeah you lose!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

As the Hope Turns...into Gina

Nicole is still in her ugly outfit and still fighting with Arianna. Love how these two ex-cons get jobs so easily on the news and their first story is in the police station of all places. Can Abe just have them both arrested and sent to'd be more entertaining.

Daniel leaves Chloe again as we get a replay of that funny scene where he gets firm with her and not focused on her being firm. Vivian makes her move on Chloe and touches her creepily again. Chloe just wants Vivian to back off. At the hospital Carly is talking with Dr. Yang, who has a website! OMG she called in a guy from the Internet to fix Daniel! Victor overhears about the surgery and starts yelling at Carly. He's still upset they have not had sex dammit!

The little spawn of Satan looks under the bed and finds her mother's box. My mother used to yell at me when I went through her shit. They should institute beatings for this kid.

Brady is running and tells us about how to save the environment with his eco-travel water bottle! GO GREEN! Brady is now being gay with Justin. Go Brustin! Wait they are related nevermind. They talk about the mugging, things with Adrienne, and then Arianna. Basically they both suck with women and just in general. Justin is nosier than Maggie and asks questions about Ari. Meanwhile Ari brings up Nicole's porn past....that is always a good time! Then Nicole brings up Ari's drug problems. Wow these women have accomplished so much in very little time.

Hope finds the little creeper and is worried about her. Seriously this kid has like dead eyes and may slice the townspeople at the kneecaps. If serial killing starts again it is clearly her doing. In the most creepy delivery ever she tells Hope, "I don't know what is going on inside your head mommy!!!" ...........O-O..........Scarier than the Shining. Hope needs to break out the holy water.

Justin wonders if Nicole was still in jail, would Brady and Ari be married. Well DUH Captain Obvious! Now Justin is giving out love advice. The guy who is in the middle of a divorce and in love with HOPE of all people should NOT be giving out advice to anyone. Brady needs to keep running.

Abe is granting Nicole an interview but allows her no time to change or get makeup on....just like on the real show!! Ari works the camera because she took a class and there must be some budget cuts because that would NEVER happen. Nicole's interview is going bad, because the girl needs some booze. She finally becomes herself and attacks Abe for the police sucking, so Ari screams CUT...They are allowed only one take on Days..but the news gets as much as possible!

Vivian toys with Chloe's mind...or whatever is located in the brain area. Victor starts yelling at Carly who sends Dr. Yang off to prep for surgery. Victor is upset Carly is helping with surgery and Daniel walks in defending Carly. He trusts Carly with his life, which is risky considering she does not really work that much. Victor thinks he is a damn fool. Carly gives him the eyebrow instead of giving him the finger.

Hope is worried for her little girl..well yeah she a creeper! TommyBear is also the new star of the show and even SeeWhoreA has to explain that to stupid Hope that the bear does not speak. Hope explains to the little devil that basically she made the whole thing up in her whacked out brain because she would never talk about Justin that way. The Little Creeper then talks to herself outside her mom's door and to that damn bear. Ten bucks says that bear ends up losing a limb.

Nicole is annoyed that Ari called cut on her interview with Abe. Abe seems to be enjoying the cattiness and he is officially the only one. They continue the interview and Abe explains that there will be an end to the violence....actually I want it to continue. THANKS! He explains that Hope Brady is on the job...and Nicole has to stop herself from laughing basically.

Justin and Hope are talking about the little creeper's problems...Vote goes to PUT HER IN AN INSTITUTION! He says that Hope is a good mother, meaning that he has probably never met that Shawn D kid she screwed up. Justin is now giving parenting advice when he is NEVER around his kids!

Chloe knows that Vivian is trying to mess with her mind. Vivian wants to help Chloe handle the huge problem that is Carly. Well we know burying her alive won't work! Father Matt, Chloe's BFF interrupts them and saves the poor Chloe from the mean old lady. Matt needs to be in Church more and not have "coffee" with Chloe.

Daniel wants Victor to deal with his friendship with Carly. Victor does not approve of the sadist Carly Manning. Danny says that Vivian is the crazy one, and Victor should not listen to the old bat. Carly tells Danny the doctor is ready, and Victor warns her not to screw up. Carly asks abut Chloe, and Daniel has to tell her that another person hates her guts. Loving that Carly was nosy enough to ask what the fight was about, like she did not know Chloe hates her.

Justin is good at putting kids to bed...not surprising since he is so boring and puts me to sleep. And where are these 4 children we never see? Have a theory one of the twins is gay! Hope tells Justin that the little creeper called him daddy....Justin would rather Hope call him daddy. At the rate this parenting is going, little SeeWhoreA is going on a killing spree and Justin and Carly are going to die first.

Nicole thanks Abe for the interview............that is all that happened and still not sure why that was a scene.

Chloe keeps confiding in Father Matt, who really seems to just want to get laid. Seriously questioning his priestly conduct on this one! Vivian and Gus discuss how Chloe and Daniel are arguing and how this works to their advantage. Chloe is apparently going to become a Weapon of Manning's Destruction. Can we get that on a t-shirt?? Love how Carly is now being compared to terrorist activities now.

Ari and Gaby are talking. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH that is all! Brady overhears and asks Gaby if they were speaking about Nicole. Are there other people in town who get called Baby Switcher?

Daniel explains how Chloe is insecure about Carly. Apparently Carly is also semi-stalking Chloe because she knows she is a singer. She thinks Danny should tell Chloe the truth about the surgery.

Justin is worried about Hope because she has a headache....WHAT ABOUT THE WEIGHT LOSS??

Daniel calls Chloe and leaves her a voicemail message. He says he is going into surgery and will be there very late. Very late on this show means he will be discharged tomorrow.

Vivian and Victor talk on the phone. He lets her know the Black Widow is involved in Daniel's surgery. Vivian gets confused by all the animal imagery Victor uses on the ladies in his life. She cannot even remember Chloe's name to tell Victor about their fight. Okay this scene was FUNNY! Chloe admits to the priest she has not told Daniel about how she feels Carly is affecting them. Father Matt and Carly need to meet. He is gonna perform an impromptu exorcism the way everyone rags on the lady.

Gaby tells Brady that Arianna is now working for Nicole. He heads to stop the fight...TOO LATE! Arianna wonders if Nicole has always been a bitch. Nicole OWNS the fact that she is a bitch. She even has t-shirts and necklaces that read "Bitch" on them!

Hope is wearing hideous PJs and is pill popping. Pill popping is not bad as long as your clothes are nice. UGLY PJs!

Nicole and Ari argue about how she is a bitch and Brady walks in. LAME!

Chloe gets the message from Daniel and Father Matt encourages her to go to the hospital to see Daniel. This gets Vivian's wheels turning and she sets up her plan.

Justin and Victor are signing contracts. Victor thinks that Justin is just there to pant around Hope. Eww that makes me queasy. Speaking of the weirdo, she jumps out of bed at what seems a late hour and says she has overslept. Gina must only sleep 10 minutes then because wow that was fast.

Vivian pays an orderly to lie about Carly. Daniel is in his hospital gown and OMG never put him in that outfit again! Carly needs to also lose those scrubs, they are not charming! Father Matt tells Chloe to just go to the hospital and talk to Daniel. Chloe feels everything is working against her and Daniel....yeah its called the Writing Staff!

Ari wants to keep her job, and Brady wants her to get a new one. Still Lame!

Mr. Winton is the orderly who is about to get paid for lying. Thanks!

Justin lectures Victor about how Hope needs HIM and not Bo! Meanwhile Hope is getting all Gina's up. Does she only own that one black outfit?

Ari will not quit her job and can handle Nicole as her boss. BAD IDEA!

Yang is prepping the Laser..KINKY! Carly who is now wearing a mask, talks to Daniel and all we see is eyebrows! Daniel says once he is out of surgery he will make everything right with Chloe...which means he will buy her a puppy. Chloe arrives at the hospital and learns from Winton that Daniel is NOT in surgery. He lies and says that Daniel left with Carly...and BOW CHICKA BOW WOW.

Justin and Victor are still bickering and Justin wonders why Victor considers Bo a man, but not Justin. Well that is a stupid discussion. First off, You have no balls Justin so you are not a man! Hope has her black getup on and is now applying that fabulously horrible RED lipstick. She thinks she looks Perfect.......Check your dictionary because you must have low standards.

Previews: Chloe has a panic attack and needs to know where they were going!!! PANIC!!!! Just call every sleazy hotel, bar, or your apartment building for two sex crazed doctors.

Nathan asks Melanie how she feels about him. This is going to be so warm and fuzzy. Nathan is perfect in every way so Melanie better be careful with my Greek God's heart! Nathan= excitement so this should be mind blowing!

EJ tells Sami she looks beautiful. Awwww Rapist love!!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

All My Creepy Children

SeeWhoreA and Hope are getting ready for school. The little devil child is stealing wedding magazines because they start them young on this show. SeeWhoreA calls her mommy out on Uncle Justin being her new Daddy. The freak even gets her own flashback! She must be Hope's daughter if she is having flashbacks so young. At this rate, SeeWhoreA is a more convincing mugger than her own mother.

Carly and Daniel talk about his eyeball problems. Carly has an idea about how to fix his problems. Voting to gouge out the other eye so he stops complaining and making me dizzy with the cross eyed look.

Nicole and Chloe are PIER walking as opposed to street walking. Chloe makes a bad joke about Carly coming over in a Teddy serving her sticky buns....that's only on Sundays! Vivian is stalking Nicole and Chloe who are bashing Carly some more on their way to breakfast. Guessing no one told them that Liking Carly is now the IN thing to do. Nicole and Carly need to go for martinis and hug it out.

Hope thinks SeeWhoreA dreamt about this conversation. The little freak runs out of the room in a creepy way. Hope then gets a phone call and forgets about the accident that left the room. She learns Abe was attacked and is angered she is just finding out. Well to be fair you were probably THERE committing the crime so shame on you for forgetting.

Nicole and Chloe are at the Pub, and WTF is Nicole wearing? Blind over here. Nicole got the job of roving reporter from Phillip. Why, I have no idea? Nicole reminds Chloe of her days on television when Kate tried to poison her. Good storyline....bad follow through! Nicole wonders if Daniel is worth all this...short answer NAH! Although the man is fine in that I'll sleep with you after I shave you way. Gus finds Vivian spying on them, and goes over her schedule. She wants someone to drive a stake through that vampire Carly Manning's heart, but yet she lacks one. Vivian just confused herself, and also reads the Twilight books.

Hope is upset that no one reached her to tell her about Abe. She blames everyone else but herself..not surprised! Abe and Hope talk about the mugging. Lexie says that Abe could have died if hit a few inches to the side...*whispers* we all know Hope has bad aim. Hope assumes that the mugger is a MAN...well in certain lighting she does look.....okay nevermind.

Arianna comes over to the mansion to see Brady and Victor is there instead, giving her a hard time. Ari got a job as the Reporter's assistant, not realizing Nicole is the reporter. Victor reminds her he is the TITAN of Titan and that was an unfortunate line. He says he cannot wait until Nicole and Arianna go head to head over Brady. Does Victor forget all the bad stuff Nicole has done? Surprised he has not tried to remove Nicole from town instead of giving her jobs.

Nicole puts more doubt in Chloe's head. She tells her to watch her back...which confuses Chloe even more because she cannot see her back. Carly has a friend named Dr. Yang....hopefully she has not had sex with this one. She has arranged a surgery for Daniel despite his objections to doing so. He agrees to go along with it and she gives him a bear hug. It was a Kodak moment.

Gus even thinks its ridiculous of Vivian to include Chloe in on his plot against Carly. She wants to push Chloe over the many people want this yet it never happens!

Hope is going to put a team together to find the mugger.....good luck with that police force. Abe wonders if she is okay, especially with the sleeping problems. Hope says she is fine, but SeeWhoreA is having problems...yeah she got the crazy eyes. Abe brings up Bo, and takes on the role of Donald Downer for the day.

Daniel thinks Carly is a good friend, she says she's more than that. EWWWW. This storyline is going to give ME vision problems if these two eventually have sex. Nicole says that most women don't stand a chance against Carly. Loving this admission from Nicole especially since THEY NEVER MET! Since when does Nicole of all people think a woman like Carly is powerful? Carly explains that she meant that they share a daughter....and that pesky case of herpes. Carly loves that Daniel now trusts her and values their friendship. Daniel wants to keep the surgery a secret from Melanie, but he will tell Chloe.....she won't understand, but he'll tell her anyway. Nicole advises Chloe that if she wants to keep Daniel she has to play games until Bo returns. Vivian listens to them and wishes she would have thought against this hairstyle for today.

Hope tells Abe about Kimberly's condition, but she has not spoken to Bo. Abe thinks Hope needs to take a personal leave...we just want her to leave period. In walks THEO!! Hope gets a headache when the kid comes in....apparently she dislikes loud children. Lexie and Hope leave the father/son alone. Lexie tells Hope that she has to talk to the doctor in charge for specifics in Abe's case...CARLY! It truly is a shitty day for Hope.

Nicole explains that if Bo ends things with Carly, then Carly will go running to Daniel. Vivian proceeds to have the WORST dream ever about Chloe and Carly. Apparently in dreams people are bad actors. Chloe pushes Carly off the PIER. Carly proceeds to flail, then hit her head on a wooden block, then flails backwards into the water. Chloe is upset that she killed her that she says in a Robotic voice: I KILLED HER. Meanwhile as Hope approaches Carly she receives a phone call from Bo...Going to start referring to the phone as PR until he gets back! Chloe thinks Daniel would never cheat, and Carly loves Bo. Nicole mentions how Daniel is a player....yeah he touched every female patient at that hospital. Chloe just wishes "Carly would just drop off the face of the earth" as Daniel overhears. Actually the face of the earth is located about 2 blocks away from the Pub.

Theo is really upset and wants his daddy home! Lexie is trying to calm down her son. Don't really mind seeing Theo but did we really have to witness his tantrum? Aren't Melanie's tantrums enough?

Ari will not fight Nicole for Brady....well yeah she'd lose. Victor reminds her that Nicole will not stop going after him. Ari reminds Victor that she is the one calling the shots....and Nicole just does shots in the bar. Nicole excuses herself from the table to leave Daniel and Chloe in awkward central. Nicole gets a call from Rosie, who tells her what happened to Abe.

Chloe gets a lecture from Danny about her anti-Carly stance and her pro-Nicole feelings. Vivian is still listening, and its basically just closeups of this poor lady not being served at the Pub. Where is a waitress? Carly tells Bo he has to listen to the doctors and PUSH FLUIDS...Convinced that is dirty talk! Hope asks Carly about the muggings. During Carly's statement, Hope shakes her pen alot to get the ink to work. Unfortunately Hope does not have the bone power to shake a pen. Carly gives her a pen, and then talks about Bo and Kimberly. Hope gets a phonecall about her spawn of Satan. Carly wonders what is wrong....not your hair which looks fabulous for a change!

Arianna gets the phonecall about Abe too so she rushes to the police station. Nicole gets to the station and starts yelling about how there is no hair and makeup for her....this is Days and this is not surprising. She orders a fancy coffee just because it is what all the cool people are doing. She then barges into Abe's office and wants an exclusive. She even pulls the BRANDON card...who I miss!! She threatens Abe with telling either her version of the story or his. Actually her version would be way better!

SheWhoreA and Hope are chatting about her problems at school. She stole Reward Stickers from her teacher's desk..One even said "Did my Best!" Hope tells her she loves her...well I'd hope so! She tells her it's not right to take which the little evil kid responds.."you think everything I do is baddddddddddddd." The little devil just wants her daddy who let's her Skype all day.

Daniel is bitching about Nicole. He does not understand why Chloe tells Nicole everything, but leaves him out. This dude needs a chick Manual! Chloe tells him Nicole is not the problem..CARLY is the problem! Vivian is so excited by this fight she is molesting the menu. Daniel explains why Nicole sucks as a person, to which Chloe reminds him Carly is a murderer. Daniel is upset that Chloe is overreacting. Chloe thinks: Carly is a WHORE sleeping with other women's men. Okay problems with THIS! Carly only slept with 3 men on this show! Second, CHLOE sleeps with EVERYONE and cheated on Lucas, toyed with Brady and Phillip, and is going to cheat on Daniel..HELLO!

Hope tells Victor about the little devil's thievery. Victor couldn't be prouder actually which is cute and hope she scalps the stickers on the playground for a quick buck. Victor asks about Abe and Hope wonders if he has any information about the muggings. Meanwhile the little troublemaker sneaks into her mother's room. She puts on her mother's ONE weird...and finds a box under the bed. Think we can safely assume there are no snacks in that box. The little creeper says that Mommy has something to her Teddy Bear...this kid needs more counseling.

Nicole and Ari are working together and just realize it. This Storyline= WASTE OF TIME!

Dr. Yang and Carly have a consult. Yeah she's probably slept with him. Daniel is extremely annoyed by Chloe...ABOUT TIME! Chloe makes the big mistake of asking if he and Carly have a thang going on! Daniel is furious that she would even ask that and leaves. Vivian comes over and puts her hand on Chloe's shoulder...creeeppppyyyy because she thinks its Daniel. Chloe turns to be comforted by Vivian instead. Chloe started that stupid fight and she should feel like crap!

Victor and Hope discuss the muggings. He thinks the mugger is after men with gold cards....foreshadowing? Hope says she has to figure things out before anyone gets, so none of the victims have been hurt?? Glad Hope is on the job! SeeWhoreA looks in the box and thinks her mommy has a secret. God I hope its porn!

Previews: Arianna is working the camera and yelling cut at Nicole. Wow this station must be very short on cash that Ari is working camera duty too. Lazy and CHEAP!

Vivian asks Chloe if Carly has gotten to him. Again making Carly seem like a plague. If Carly had such an effect on men the rest of the town would like her...NOT the case!

Daniel says he trusts Carly with his life, and Victor says he is a fool. Well, Victor is biased! Still annoyed that Carly never put out and slept with him. BITTER!
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