Friday, February 25, 2011

One Flew Over Chloe's Cuckoo Nest

And I'm back! Sorry but the show has been really slow and I haven't really felt like commenting on some of the crap we've had to watch...speaking of crap. TAYLOR!

Okay Taylor got recast with one of my favorite Daytime actresses, Tamara Braun, which implies to me Taylor will get evil, which is what her character might need. She is SOOOO boring and it makes no sense whatsoever that this random girl would have EJ all excited. There is no chemistry and she's obnoxious with her I'm a good girl crap. Sorry but its TRUE! I also don't need to see 80 thousand flashbacks of them bumping into each other and acting like fools. Also why the hell is the whole damn town in love with the chick? God I hate when they do this.

Will.....still gay.

Okay Chloe is fucking nuts. Excuse my language but that pretty much sums it up. She is hearing voices, Parker is talking to her apparently and ordering her to bark like a dog. Okay that last part is not true but that is exactly where we were headed. So Chloe tried to kill jumping off a small Pier. Yeah you can't die that way. Days writing FAILS again, and Chloe could have easily taken all her pills at ONCE DUH! Philip luckily saved her, but I am not really thrilled with the Melanie and Kate taking advantage of a woman going through Postpartum Depression. The show has made a joke out of ANOTHER disease, and why the hell is Melanie being evil all of a sudden? I don't really get it, Kate makes sense but this Melanie being a bitch business has to go. You also have to wonder where the hell Nathan went but obviously the writers don't care.

Jen and Daniel might be getting together but if she keeps pushing Carly and Daniel together I might start a campaign for her to lose her heart again. Carly + Daniel equals gross and not cool. They are like brother and sister and have ZERO sexual chemistry.

EJ and Nicole are MARRIED!!! Can he refrain from having sex with his "true love" Taylor until the cast change? Thanks! This is only sad because Nicole is going to get hurt again when it is clear she actually cares for EJ. I'm still not sure WHY she cares about him but whatever, and they make a good naturally the writers SPLIT them up.

Bo and Hope are back together, sorta kinda, still not sure. Right now its constant family time with Ciara so the jury is still out if the writers are going to make them interesting again and fix all the problems they apparently have. Can they at least have Bo cut all the old man cranky shit? Seriously he used to be funny, go back to that!

Will.....even gayer than the last time I mentioned him.

Rafe 2 is having sex with Sami as I am writing this. Please end this storyline as its completely stupid and a complete waste of time. I'd rather see Allie with Lucas in Hong Kong and who can blame her for leaving! Also, shame on the Days writers for having Stefano go after a child?! That would never happen sorry! He loves his wife and would never have kidnapped her granddaughter. Total joke and hope they never go down that road again.

Where is Stephanie by the way? Oh that's right I don't care......

Chad is apparently officially IN the DiMera family. Until he wears a suit and breaks the law....I'm not calling this official. Right now he is the leader of the babies as Theo and Johnny are obsessed with him......but not the way WILL is....mmhmm.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Let's Get Rid of Taylor and Keep Fake Rafe!

Parker better hope he is SORASED in the next 24 hours because the kid is going to have to learn to make his own bottle, turn off the stove, and change and feed himself before Chloe kills him. I feel bad that Chloe is a terrible mom considering all she wanted was a kid all her life. She was making the baby cookies.....HE IS NOT EVEN ON SOLIDS YET! Can someone just step in already, get her help, and then take care of the kid? Also, Dear Days, there are ways of showing a mother with PPD without making her look bat shit crazy and endangering a child's life, but I digress.

Melanie is going to team up with Kate to take away Parker. By the time they do it Parker will either be in the oven with the cookies, or 15 years old and dating Syndey. Also, Nathan and Melanie are just not going to happen so can we please stop seeing scenes where he declares his love and she looks like she has a stomach ache? I'm done with that nonsense.

Rafe number 2 and Sami had sex. He gave her a hickey and I'm pretty sure that was DOOL writers kinky version of sex. How EJ and Stefano gave the Rafes matching Penis I will never know but you have to admire them for their dedication and accuracy. Rafe learns he has a double, and I think like the rest of us he likes the new him too. EJ and Nicole also have sex. I'm pretty sure no one used protection in either scenario so there will be more babies to give cancer to, kidnap, fake their deaths and leave in burning homes.

This week ended with EJ bumping into Taylor, turning around in a dreamlike state and falling in love at first sight. What a load of complete horse shit. This bitch is not special and she has chemistry with no one but a mirror. The whole town loves Taylor for no reason whatsoever. Somehow I think this is actually mocking Carly's return where everyone hated her. FOR WHAT REASON is Taylor in town? I don't get it nor am I liking it. Apparently Lexie is her new best friend, which makes perfect sense since Abe slept with her mother....YEAH IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! Also, would I buy EJ eventually falling in love with Nicole's sister if she lives in town for a while...yeah sure. Do I buy that he bumps into a random chick and is smitten instantly?...NO! It's completely out of character for EJ and another thing...Taylor sucks.

To catch you up on the Hope drama..She is finally out of jail. Now it will only take her and Bo about another three months to get their shit together. JOY! Carly is all by herself and crying constantly. I feel like I should be paid to watch this! Jen wants to get her and Daniel together. WORST IDEA EVER! One..Daniel does not date women his age, Two...EWWW. Jen and Daniel will get together as she tries to get Daniel with Carly. I don't think I am going to like that pairing either but you know what, if it stops Daniel and Carly then THANK GOD. Jen gets special kudos though for having the fastest heart transplant of one's own heart surgery ever with full recuperation. Way to go!

Special mentions: Carrie made an appearance, I'm still not sure why. Sami and Carrie getting along......APOCALYPSE! They NEVER got along and life is better that way. Eww. Just Ewww.

Will.... Still Gay. messing with Stefano and Kate. Dear Vivian, either torment Carly or leave town. Do not screw with the wonderful that is Stefano/Kate and Victor/Maggie. The old couples are ALL we have going for the damn show!

Special Shout Outs: Johnny...just because he is the best actor/character on the show that I can tolerate completely anymore.

Parker: Anyone stuck with Chloe for that amount of time is just....God Bless Him.

Rafe number 2's penis. You apparently look like Rafe number one's penis but you are just a sparkling personality on our screens. You are always standing out in scenes with Sami.....and Nicole.....and Gaby......and Brady. WOW!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Total Eclipse of Jen's Heart

Okay the Jennifer heart story. It was as bad as we all thought it was going to be. I can make so many heart jokes but really, did that really just all happen? Days has never been accurate or attempt to be real, but you would think something as serious as heart surgery wouldn't be done as a joke. It was not HEARTbreaking, not HEARTwarming at all, and yes I can be HEARTless and say it sucked to no end. Let's just all breathe a sign of relief that TY TREADWAY IS GONE!! Thank the Lord for that one. Just to catch us up by the way: Daniel can now perform heart surgery, along with brain, eye, knee, foot, and face transplants. WHATEVER. The guy can't figure out people are lying but he can perform every surgery known to man, makes perfect sense.

So Carly broke up with Bo so he can be with Hope. First, did they not really break up already? Second, Carly is doing the noble thing and letting Bo and Hope be together....That is complete and utter horseshit. Sorry! Why doesn't she plan their next wedding ceremony at this rate? It would have been MORE of a story had she schemed or fought for her man but Nooooooooo. At this rate Carly should join a cult and hook up with Satan. Devil worship can be fun! So Bo and Hope are going to get back together. Do you think the writers, who completely destroyed Carbo storyline will give you what you want with a Bope storyline? I'll give you a hint: NO!

Chloe is officially cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Hey if Days can use product placement so can I! Let's hope we get a scene of Chloe in the nut house chewing through restraints. OR better yet, she has to wear all black and flashback to Ghoul Girl days when she had a brain and some self respect.

------------------------------------------------------- Sorry my heart stopped and I shocked myself back to life because that happens in real life.

Taylor has come to Salem............................................Taylor. Um. Yeah well. She's in town and there she is.........Taylor................Yeah not a fan sorry.

Chad is trying to figure out how he fits in the DiMera family. Here is a tip, get that shit out of your hair, get a suit, and start smoking. Thank you. P.S. it's nice Lexie and Abe have screen time.....they can go now thanks.

Fake Rafe...Rafe 2....HORNY RAFE. Can we dump the original Rafe and keep this one? The only think that makes this storyline creep me out a bit, is when this Rafe sleeps with Sami, is that technically rape? Or just mean and gross? Either way this makes EJ look like a huge asshole once again. Side note: I don't need to see the real Rafe locked up and talking to himself, the fake one is enough. Reasons to like him more: He talks funny, he drinks with Nicole, he gets Sami to calm the hell down, and did I mention he wants to sleep with everything with boobs?

Status update: Yes Will is still gay.
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