Friday, May 27, 2011

I Just Realized that Hot Mess was Sweeps

Okay figured I'd do a blog for this holiday weekend. So Days' has new head writers, but does that mean things will really change? I am not super confident and we'll have to see how this plays out. Word on the Internet is the writers are rewriting some Higley stuff and scrapping some storylines. If Will being gay gets scrapped, well LAME! My vote would be for Chloe's prostitute storyline, Rafe2/Rafe1 lasting a damn eternity, or EJAYLOR.

Something tells me Ejaylor isn't going anywhere. Why do I think this?....Because Days never does what I want lol. I get physically repulsed and bored by these two people together in a room. It would be like watching Abe and Roman get entire episodes where they discuss crime in Salem. Spoiler alert: they have sex next week. No not Abe and Roman, although while visually disturbing that would actually be an intriguing storyline. No EJ and Taylor have sex. Cue the pregnancy, cue the nausea, cue Nicole doing something stupid. Taylor is NOT a sympathetic character, we DO NOT love her like the whole damn town does, and SHE IS WRONG. It is getting really annoying that NO ONE is saying to her that it's wrong to go after your sister's husband. Nicole is RIGHT, and I hope she cuts the bitches face off and we get a new Taylor all over again.

Chloe's storyline I would LOVE to see scrapped. Women on this show get shit on. It's true, but having a woman forced into prostitution is disgusting. Seriously this is a topic that is not comfortable to watch, and you know Days won't do anything impressive writing wise to show the realities of prostitution. All they will do is show Chloe sleeping with some old ugly dude in a wife beater once a week. I can't willingly enjoy watching a woman get raped on a weekly basis, because if Chloe gets blackmailed into doing this then it really is like she is getting raped. GROSS! We know Days loves raping women, it is there thing, but I am really getting tired of the Chloe has to suffer the most crap. Whether you love or hate the character, she was once intelligent and then boom she became a moron who just sleeps around. I don't like Taylor, we all know this, and I wouldn't even want to see HER go through this. It is disgusting and it takes a GREAT DEAL to offend me of all people. Kind of like that off putting DATE RAPE throwaway scene that was done this week. Bad taste, bad writing, and while we all joke about Days writing being bad and medical jargon being inaccurate, the Date Rape scene of a therapist telling Jen about a girl being raped after the girl expressed she didn't want to share her story was...DISGUSTING.

That is the end of that rant, and I will leave you with this to ponder: Will is so gay that when he asked Gaby if she basically wanted to have sex on prom night and she said yes, he gave the I JUST SHIT MY PANTS look. Hot Mess tip of the week: Whether you are a gay male or a lesbian female and unsure about things, don't ask your current heterosexual love interest if they want to have sex because they might say yes.

Dear Quinn, I need some drugs, Much love, Hot Mess Mandy.

Maggie and Victor broke up again, which is amazing since they broke up last week. Not all old people have memory problems. Listen I love these two, but all this build up crap and no payoff is starting to get on my last damn nerve. Speaking of old bags....CAROLINE...I thoroughly enjoyed Sami telling Caroline not to judge her "forgiving Rafe" considering Shawn forgave her for cheating. THANK YOU! It is seriously about time someone put that senile dentures falling out bitch in her place.

Random Question: Where is Hope? First she had that long sleep when one day on Days took place over 15 episodes. Then she finally figured out Maggie and Victor like each other, and then she disappeared. Listen I had to sit through that terrible prison storyline, give the lady something to work with please. Bo and Hope get back together but we don't see them together. That makes PERFECT SENSE.

I did enjoy Carly telling Bo to mind his business this week. LONG OVERDUE thank you. However I find it hysterical she has to be strung out on pills to work up the nerve to tell him off. Bo, you are married and you keep getting in Carly's face when you have made it clear you don't want to be with take my advice...GET OUT OF HER FACE AND GIVE HER SPACE. Yes that rhymed. While I am giving out advice, Dear Carly..Menopause is nothing to be ashamed of, get on a hormone pack you are crying all over the place and having hot flashes. Also, everyone knows you are German now. Deal with it. You are scaring poor Abigail and if you keep this up I am pretty sure Jen will force you into weekly events like Tupperware parties and book club meetings. Also, I'm pretty sure you were in love with Bo last week, so falling for Daniel now makes no sense. Yes he is hot and it is okay to fantasize, but seriously....EWWWWWWWW.

Lexie....Go away seriously if you are not going to cheat on Abe.

Kate and Vivian..... Please just engage in catfights on a daily basis.

Nicole............ Kill Taylor.

Rafe and Sami....just please no babies for now. I'm so confused with Rafe1/Rafe2/Rafe3 that I think Rafe Jr. would just make matters worse.

Brady.....Get naked.

Melanie....If you pick Dario over Brady I will send Taco Bell to the Days set everyday as a form of protest.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend everyone!!! Enjoy your holiday and hopefully the storylines GET BETTER!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Got Midol?

This blog is brought to us in part by MIDOL. Feeling achy, cramps, are constant Safe scenes getting you down? Welllllll then you might need MIDOL!

Okay so Rafe 2 has been caught, and Sami FINALLY figured out that Rafe 2 was never Rafe 1. Now, Sami doesn't want EJ to know that she knows that Rafe 2 is not Rafe 1, nor that Rafe 1 is still alive. So Rafe 2 has to be taken care of, and Rafe 1 has to pretend he is Rafe 2 so that no one knows, including EJ and Stefano, that they have been found out that they switched Rafes. Yes I just wrote all that out, and yes you are welcome. Bottom line: Bo/Hope/Rafe1/Sami are all going after EJ for the whole switch thing. How far we have come on this show that everyone is trying to catch the DiMeras for their weird over the top schemes.....oh wait.

Taylor sucks as a character by the way no matter who is playing her. I hope Nicole shoots her because it makes absolutely no sense why everyone likes this character and why EJ loves her. To the five EJAYLOR fans there are, sorry but I think you need a new couple. Now Brady is all up on Taylor for no particular reason. Does the bitch poop gold?

Okay so Chloe got paid by the hot stranger for sex. Am I the only one who has a HUGE PROBLEM with this storyline? This show always puts women in terrible situations but seriously Chloe has been put through crap stories for years and this is just the bottom of the barrel. This isn't like KATE who was a call girl when she was young. This is a regular character who just lost her child, so what better way to get your kid back then to become a Prostitute? WHAT? By the way for the handful of people who think that this will actually show how this is a real story and women really go through this...yeah this is Days. Pretty much we will just see Chloe in bed with fat ugly men in wife beaters who are slobbering all over her. I will throw up everywhere. Drug/alcohol addiction would have made more sense but seriously I'm really over the whole 'Let's torture Chloe crap.' Nicole, Sami, Kate have all committed TERRIBLE crimes and they don't have to go through this crap. END OF RANT.

Melanie...yeah the writers just need to stop putting her in every scene for no reason and actually give her an enjoyable storyline which doesn't include a Spanish Rosetta Stone lesson on a daily basis. Which brings me to Dario.....Shut up. I don't care that you like Melanie. She won't like you until you stop showing interest in her, that's how she works.

Jen and Dan. We get it.

Carly got a visit from Scary Larry. He basically told her she is a waste of space which is.....well sorry it's true. If the writers wrote her better maybe I would care she is doing drugs but honestly the writing is soooo bad that I don't. This is a bad version of Nurse Jackie. Nurse Jackie SNORTS pills by the way...get on that. With all the crying and shaking I'm not watching a drug addict, I'm watching the same old Carly before the drug addiction. In fact I'm not convinced she is a drug addict, I just realize Carly is basically going through Menopause and is having mood swings with a side of Ambien that let's her sleep. The crying...hormones. The flashes. The depression..yep all Menopause.

I'd like to give a special shoutout to Days wardrobe for putting all the characters in the same clothes except Lexie who got to don two outfits. Way to not work and keep us on the same day for 15 days in a row leading the story to progress to yeah NOWHERE FAST.

To the Days writers, congrats on the Emmy nomination you didn't deserve. Spoiler Alert: you don't have a snowball's chance of winning unless you send all the Emmy voters some Cheerios. Here is a challenge for you: write some STRONG WOMEN on the show, Let Maggie and Victor have sex, let Will be GAY ALREADY, and stop boring me! Thank you. :)

Friday, May 6, 2011

Bring on the Blackmail and the Prostitutes

Well it looks like Rafe 1 + Rafe 2 will be coming to an end sort of. Rafe finally got to the safe house and ran into Sami. Rafe 2 should be caught soon, which means Rafe 1 will be pretending to be Rafe 2...did you catch all that? Yeah the writers expect us to believe this crap. I secretly hope there is a Rafe 3 somewhere and he is the gay one who Will finds love with. That won't be awkward at all. "Hi Gaby, we can't have sex because I'm gay and in love with your brother's other clone." ...The scary thing is this can actually happen on the show. We all know Rafe 4 is Rafaellla the female Rafe. Everyone should have their own Rafe, coming to stores Christmas 2012.

Someone get Carly some pills, it's been a hot minute.

Melanie and Dario or Melanie and Brady. Listen I don't normally pick sides in soap fandom couple things because it's a soap and I get they change and break up. So normally you see me just make fun of EVERY couple and EVERY character. First off Mario...The Faux Spanish Keanu Reeves thing just is not working for me. The writers are not even making Dario interesting at all..but that seems to be the same for the rest of the stereotypical cringeworthy Hernandez family. Melanie doesn't even seem interested. So we got rid of Nathan, who she ACTUALLY cared about so that she can be with Dario. Okay but she's not INTO Dario at all, or at least she's not showing it. Now, Melanie and Brady....they still seem brother/sisterish to me but at least Melanie has feelings for him and it SHOWS. So FOR NOW, I'm going to be Team Brelanie, but this could change in a week. Really I'm just Team Eric Martsolf Shirtless and Pantless.

Daniel and Jennifer. I never thought I'd say this but Jen seems too old for Daniel lol. Yes he dated Kate, but he really dates younger women. Will Jen ever really be over Jack, OF COURSE NOT! So I'm not sure why I would want to root for this couple when Jack is always there in the background. While I think they ARE CUTE and a better fit than Carly/Daniel, the writers keep CONSISTENTLY mentioning Jack every five seconds like this couple already doesn't have a chance. Also, I do not remember Jen being so WEIRD. Jack was the weird one that was all over the place. Why the hell did they change Jen? I don't get these writers decisions EVER. As far as Daniel goes...if he is NOT going to be with Chloe, and he is NOT going to be with Jen, and EWWW if he even touches Carly again, there is only ONE other person he should be linked with....HIS DEAD WIFE REBECCA. HELLO! Cast that role and bring back the woman he loves and make it a REAL triangle. THANK YOU.

Yeah Will still gay....I like being RIGHT.

Chad...boring! Throw a suit on the boy and have him kill someone.

Lexie, oh dear Lexie. Still married to ABE (BLAHHHH), yet always stuck being the bridesmaid to all the other brides on the show. Bring back the bitch and take shit over. Nothing is better than Hope vs. Lexie when she was was stealing babies. She needs a good affair, she deserves it after all these years!

Nicole is about to TEAR SHIT UP. When I say shit, clearly I mean EJAYLOR. Boring couple, pointless love story, and really should never have had anything to do with each other that quickly. I'd still like to know why the whole damn town loves Taylor, is she slipping them drugs and alcohol? What is going on? It's seriously lovely that Nicole's plan to torture EJ is to STAY married to him. The girl knows what she's doing!

Chloe....drinking: Check....tanning: Check....about to become a prostitute and sleep with randoms like a nympho: Almost Checked.

Sorry if I missed any characters and/or storyline but not much is really progressing, until May Sweeps...or as I like to call it base on Spoilers: May SNORESVILLE.
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