Bring on the Blackmail and the Prostitutes

Well it looks like Rafe 1 + Rafe 2 will be coming to an end sort of. Rafe finally got to the safe house and ran into Sami. Rafe 2 should be caught soon, which means Rafe 1 will be pretending to be Rafe 2...did you catch all that? Yeah the writers expect us to believe this crap. I secretly hope there is a Rafe 3 somewhere and he is the gay one who Will finds love with. That won't be awkward at all. "Hi Gaby, we can't have sex because I'm gay and in love with your brother's other clone." ...The scary thing is this can actually happen on the show. We all know Rafe 4 is Rafaellla the female Rafe. Everyone should have their own Rafe, coming to stores Christmas 2012.

Someone get Carly some pills, it's been a hot minute.

Melanie and Dario or Melanie and Brady. Listen I don't normally pick sides in soap fandom couple things because it's a soap and I get they change and break up. So normally you see me just make fun of EVERY couple and EVERY character. First off Mario...The Faux Spanish Keanu Reeves thing just is not working for me. The writers are not even making Dario interesting at all..but that seems to be the same for the rest of the stereotypical cringeworthy Hernandez family. Melanie doesn't even seem interested. So we got rid of Nathan, who she ACTUALLY cared about so that she can be with Dario. Okay but she's not INTO Dario at all, or at least she's not showing it. Now, Melanie and Brady....they still seem brother/sisterish to me but at least Melanie has feelings for him and it SHOWS. So FOR NOW, I'm going to be Team Brelanie, but this could change in a week. Really I'm just Team Eric Martsolf Shirtless and Pantless.


Daniel and Jennifer. I never thought I'd say this but Jen seems too old for Daniel lol. Yes he dated Kate, but he really dates younger women. Will Jen ever really be over Jack, OF COURSE NOT! So I'm not sure why I would want to root for this couple when Jack is always there in the background. While I think they ARE CUTE and a better fit than Carly/Daniel, the writers keep CONSISTENTLY mentioning Jack every five seconds like this couple already doesn't have a chance. Also, I do not remember Jen being so WEIRD. Jack was the weird one that was all over the place. Why the hell did they change Jen? I don't get these writers decisions EVER. As far as Daniel goes...if he is NOT going to be with Chloe, and he is NOT going to be with Jen, and EWWW if he even touches Carly again, there is only ONE other person he should be linked with....HIS DEAD WIFE REBECCA. HELLO! Cast that role and bring back the woman he loves and make it a REAL triangle. THANK YOU.

Yeah Will still gay....I like being RIGHT.


Chad...boring! Throw a suit on the boy and have him kill someone.

Lexie, oh dear Lexie. Still married to ABE (BLAHHHH), yet always stuck being the bridesmaid to all the other brides on the show. Bring back the bitch and take shit over. Nothing is better than Hope vs. Lexie when she was was stealing babies. She needs a good affair, she deserves it after all these years!

Nicole is about to TEAR SHIT UP. When I say shit, clearly I mean EJAYLOR. Boring couple, pointless love story, and really should never have had anything to do with each other that quickly. I'd still like to know why the whole damn town loves Taylor, is she slipping them drugs and alcohol? What is going on? It's seriously lovely that Nicole's plan to torture EJ is to STAY married to him. The girl knows what she's doing!


Chloe....drinking: Check....tanning: Check....about to become a prostitute and sleep with randoms like a nympho: Almost Checked.


Sorry if I missed any characters and/or storyline but not much is really progressing, until May Sweeps...or as I like to call it base on Spoilers: May SNORESVILLE.