Friday, October 29, 2010

The Dead Arianna and the Restless Storylines

So I decided to do a weekly recap this week because well I was honestly hungover from NYC this weekend but also because this week dragged out like crazy.

The big News: Arianna is finally dead but we have no idea who hit her or if it is even going to be addressed. At this point it honestly doesn't matter because this story is...say it with me LAME! I do not care if you are a Safe fan or an EJami guys are getting screwed over on both fronts! EJ and Sami had a fight scene today that looked like borderline attempted rape...I thought we were supposed to forget that ever happened and that they "loved each other." Also, Rafe is boring as hell and needs a better writer...He is whipped and why on earth is he with Sami of all people? Seriously I'm getting to the point where Sami doesn't deserve either guy and should live alone with her gay son, Will. Will should be gay because that would actually be an interesting storyline...oh wait this show doesn't do interesting...YES I'M BITTER!

Melanie hates Carly...WE GET IT! Guess what though, when you make Carly an annoying character who cries all the time WE ARE GOING TO HATE IT TOO! She has no friends, no one really likes her except Bo, and he barely spends time with her. Carly is the OLDER Stephanie...maybe Stephanie is her real daughter. Also, Kayla...YOU SUCK! You are married to a one eyed man who always wears black and you wear hideous vests...jump off the judgmental train you out of work doctor! I would say YIPPEE that Jennifer is coming back but guess who she is coming back for...SKELEEETOOOOORRRRRR! Also Caroline sucks but we all knew that already. GO DENTURES!

Ah yes...the thin thing...the Hope...the "heart of the show" as Corday likes to put it. She's more like the pain in the ass of the show if you ask me. Honestly the lady is thin...but also, her always being the martyr is freaking annoying! It appears as if a organ donor ring is going on in the jail. The foreshadowing was so obvious with Arianna giving up her heart that it smacked the viewer in the face. Also, the new doctor is sketchy and probably a part of it, why else would he ask Carly out...yeah no one else likes her so it must be because of her exotic blood type of AB negative. He also develops a crush on Jen who will be helping Hope..who will obviously be pardoned because of this storyline, and who will probably end up with Bo because Corday is obsessed with them. Big problem with the story: Hope is too thin and her organs are probably not viable since she is clearly near death.

Vivian is still in the sarcophagus and the whole freaking town knows and does not give a shit. Side note: It smells like a nursing home with shitty care in that sarcophagus but I digress.

Of course I missed things like Nathan proposing, EJ and Sami fighting over a camera that wasn't there, and Chloe and Daniel returning from their honeymoon, and Nicole wanting Sydney back. Okay well technically I just covered it so there ya go. These stories are going to eventually kick into high gear during sweeps so we shall to them. BTW does anyone else remember that Chad is Stefano's son...yeah we keep getting reminded of that every 3 weeks THANKS!

Happy Halloween everyone!! Be safe and dress like are allowed.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Dead and the Dreadful

Well the short short version...

Brady sees his dead mother who looks alot older and had her hair dyed in heaven. Also I don't look good in white and wear white bed linens so I don't really want to go to Salem heaven. She is ashamed of Brady, while Victor is really proud that he and Nicole buried Vivian alive. Meanwhile the fumes are getting to Vivian and if she farts...she will die.

Sami, Rafe, and Arianna have the longest conversation ever without getting anywhere...AGAIN! Rafe is annoyed his sister won't lie for him....Theresa would have lied for Luis. Arianna tapes Sami confessing to everything and even where she threw the gun. Since when does Sami fall for this kind of shit and tell the truth? Sami is a moron but she's not this kind of moron. Arianna taped everything on a Flip that was a good plug because Flip cams have been known to be used for blackmail. Also to recap..Will is still a nerd momma's boy.

EJ and Bo have a long discussion about how slow Bo is.....ok not really but basically EJ violated his restraining order but instead of getting arrested he explains to Bo how Sami shot him. This show gets better and better.

My take: Kill that bitch Arianna already. I say make her where a Target t-shirt as the ultimate plug of all time!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Guiding a Car...Over Arianna's Face

Quickest recap ever of a really long episode:

Arianna is still alive dammit! Bitch is confronting the eyebrow man about how his girlfriend tried to kill someone, but the eyebrows are making him crazy and he doesn't care. Also, there is a new Sydney and she beat the crap out of Ali Sweeney today with a stuffed lizard. She lived to pay though because James Scott grabbed her tightly so she couldn't squirm around.

In other parenting news Ciara took a magical journey from the top of the Brady par to the Salem state penitentiary. The little creeper gets around. She goes to see her mom and this must have been Days' Halloween episode with the skeleton decked out in full orange. Hope's teeth are starting to jet out of her mouth and everything. Carly got feisty today and put on an outfit most of us would wear....which means something weird is going to happen that we won't like. The Doctor who I think is annoying and ugly and still really doesn't have a name (Ben/Jason), asks her for coffee and the lame Carly says she has to get home to her "sweet man Bo." Saying, I am seeing and in love with Bo Brady would have sufficed Manning! Also, this creepy doctor is always on now which means he must be evil if he is interested in Carly for no apparent reason. She boring and not popular in Salem. Carly also tells Nathan to stay away from Melanie, but it was treated in a very who gives a damn way.

Countdown to Ari flattened like a pancake commences this week! She might look like an enchilada once it's over.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

All My Tan Weddings

Daniel and Chloe are married....not for all the Days of their Lives though. Melanie didn't say a thing, everyone hates Carly, Phillip thinks he won't get caught...That's pretty much it....and "it" SUCKS! Nothing was resolved as usual and I am bitter. Melanie will be reminding us about the affair every single day and she has not even figured out Phillip is the other man. UGHHHHHH! Daniel is the only one who doesn't know what the hell is going on and his chipper attitude is becoming annoying. Brady is now smarter than him, even though he is with Nicole! Victor's facial expressions during the wedding pretty much covered how I was feeling the whole episode. Also, Victor and Maggie need at least a smooch already! I don't want a sex scene...JUST A KISS!

In other news Will and Sami are bonding over her attempted murder. Whenever I get fast food with my mom or dad we discuss their crimes and how they got away from them. Will's mancrush on Rafe is also over because he resigned from the now he can be stupid and not get paid. Arianna overhears everything and is in shock and disgust. She also seems terrified of Sami...who is this bitch and what did they do with Arianna? She runs and goes to tell EJ everything....BITCH! EJ still loves Sami so he is brain damaged and might be in a walking coma. Stefano is like WTF the crazy bitch tried to shoot you! Now you know how we feel Stefano! HAHA! EJ is afraid of losing his kids...just kidnap them and go away for awhile!

BTW Stephanie and Kayla were on today.....for what reason who really knows.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Days of Rafe Being Boring

I no like Rafe....Rafe no like EJ...where Lucas? That is all! Rafe bores me and even Sami's confession to him that she shot EJ sucked because you can tell he doesn't get it and he doesn't believe her. Also him resigning from the FBI means he will be on more driving me INSANE. At least EJ and Lucas were fun fighting over Sami. Rafe needs a new love interest, one that makes him less comatose! Maybe when Arianna dies he will realize Sami and him are boring and he needs a troublemaker or a good girl..not a MIX of the two! P.S> EJ will not have a scar from his gun shot....why would he this is Salem? Sami also tells him the truth that they are not married. Id rather be shot in the head again than to get interrogated by Rafe and Roman at the same time.

Melanie is still crying, but at least she had the good sense to change clothing UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE.....CARLY! She is wearing matching Purple with Phillip, who might be the best damn liar on this show! At least when he lies its with conviction! Nicole lies to Daniel and tells him that Chloe and Mel had a spat over her not being a real part of the family. That was a bad lie and really made no sense. Nicole also offered a pregnant Chloe booze...that is a real friend people. So recap: Melanie hates Carly now, Phillip tries to talk her out of confessing, Chloe might be shitting herself, and Melanie is going to tell Daniel the truth....okay not really.

Hope is still in jail.......Bo visited her.....Ciara is getting bullied in school.....Id rather Bo was in jail, Ciara visits him, and Hope is getting bullied at school. Okay Bo and Hope are going to get back together...its a soap...that's what happens...but can we just get it OVER WITH! Fall for the dumb martyr bitch again and just raise your demented child together so I can make fun of you even more. THANK YOU!

Monday, October 11, 2010

As the World Hates Carly Again

So what's going on??? Basically the main story is that Chloe's affair is becoming more and more public. Melanie knows because she overheard Nathan and Stephanie talking about it, and then after the confrontation with Chloe she now knows Carly knew.

CARLY IS IN TROUBLE!!!!! When confronted by Melanie Carly tries to use the good old "I am a doctor and it's against the law to tell you anything" line. Melanie starts crying because she realizes her mother is not only a bad dresser but a TERRIBLE LIAR. Melanie and Carly are now exactly back to where they were a year ago: Melanie hates Carly. Chloe feels bad that she threw Carly under the bus but she WILL NOT tell anyone it was Phillip she slept with. Phillip wants to kill everyone for being stupid and talking about Chloe's affair, and Melanie lectures Carly on how she played God and lied to Daniel for months. Carly defends Chloe and her actions, stating that Chloe is not a whore....WRONG AGAIN MANNING! P.S. Carly better get a new outfit for the damn wedding or I am going to scream. Her outfit looks like an 80s jumpsuit mixed with a skirt that does not match. P.S.S. Daniel is still a clueless moron. He gets warned not to marry Chloe on a daily basis and doesn't listen to anyone's warnings.

Also Hope is still in jail. Glad we are all caught up on that. She still has not been killed for being a cop. All my trust has to go into this Lee chick who may end up killing or harming Hope in some way. It is taking wayyyy toooo long for my liking. Hope also became a doctor in prison and recognized a girl having appendicitis. She would obviously know about stomach pain having not eaten since 2001. Meanwhile Bo, who annoyingly wipes his mouth after making out with Carly, thinks everything is going great with Ciara. However Ciara's life sucks and she is getting bullied...probably because she is a creeper. Bo goes to visit Hope and when these two get back together I hope he breaks her during sex and she dies. Yeah I said it!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Bitch Slaps and the Beautiful

Sorry for the lack of recaps. I was under the weather but feeling better. Honestly, nothing really happened on the show....until today.

Big news so far: Vivian admitted today she soiled herself in that sarcophagus. TOLD YOU SO

Brady is becoming more and more badass with Nicole as his accomplice.

But today was Melanie day. Melanie told off Nathan for keeping Chloe's affair a lie...wait until she finds out Carly was involved. Momma is going to have no one except that Bo guy who loves the thin chick. Melanie BITCH SLAPPED Chloe who yes is pregnant but its not like she kicked her in the womb. Chloe had it coming and the show is getting good. praise Jesus!

Friday, October 1, 2010

All My Crypt Sex

So I am a bit under the weather and slow but I will keep this recap short today.

Brady and Nicole start doing it in the Crypt! Brady took his shirt off and that is all you really need to know. Vivian is being a bit of a complainer considering she is getting live action free porn right before her eyes. Brady could be mean and never speak to her but he is nice and puts on a free show! Pretty sure Nicole is going to keep her mouth shut about Viv as long as her legs are open. YES I WENT THERE!

Rafe is boring, Roman is boring, EJ is pissed, and Sami is still a big whore with to many children. I miss the old Sami, not this one who tries to cover up she shot the bad guy. EJ thinks he shot himself which is amazing considering where he was shot, but we will allow him to be slow considering he has a brain injury. Stefano pisses him off some more when he learns Sami tried to pull the plug on him. Love how it was conveniently left out that even Lexie thought it was a good idea to pull the plug.

In Old people news: Victor touches Maggie's hand, which is like second base to their generation. It was kinky folks and I think Maggie is feeling randy. Melanie and Phil realize that Victor is outbidding them on all the houses they want so that they stay at Maggie's. This is an expensive version of foreplay but Maggie seems to be flattered. Melanie pulls a fast one on Victor and tells Papa Vic that she will be teaching him how to play Mah Jong. Okay not for nothing but I would love to see Melanie and Victor bonding. If Victor was smart he would use Melanie (in a nice way of course) to get closer to Maggie. Magic is going to happen people!
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