Days of My Hangover

First off I'd like to say HEYYYYY to everyone I have met last weekend at DCE Dallas. It was so much fun and I'd like to thank DCE Charity Events for putting on a great show. Also, to Nadia, Brandon, Mark, Eric, Shawn, and James...thanks for being so gracious with your fans. You were all awesome. Also I'd like to apologize for those who heard me sing...I was drinking and yeah shit happens, but I lived up to the name Hot Mess. I would love to do a recap of all the events, but clearly I am still drunk and don't remember everything. Also, many thanks for everyone who told me they loved my Days Play by Play, I really do appreciate the kind words. This is all for you the fans....
and clearly I mean the fans who can take a joke, and realize the characters are NOT REAL.

Carly is a drug addict. Maybe she watched Days and it made her turn to drugs. No but seriously, WHY PILLS?! Could the writers have picked anything more boring? And to make matters worse they had her go from tranquilizers today to a anti-depressant, to God knows what next. The lady was hugging Hope and Bo (who were terrified), she's breathing heavily all over the place, crying on everyone's shoulder, then screaming at them, and then touching everyone's face. What's next dry heaving? It's called a nervous breakdown, not pill addiction. Also all of Carly's behavior matches Taylor's behavior, so does she have a drug problem too? Oh no, she's just a waste of space. Tamara Braun YOU BETTER MAKE THIS WORK! Carly also threw in a disgusting make out session with Daniel today.......If Melanie saw it she would have thrown up too.

Unless Carly mainlines some drugs and sells her body for sex, I'm not interested in this breakdown crap. It has been done, and you know what...LIFE COULD BE WORSE! Sleep with the damn new doctor and get over yourself. Speaking of sex....CHLOE! Chloe lost baby Parker this week since Philip left town with the little one in tow. What a load of horseshit. Chloe has been wanting a baby forever and she gets punished for a bender in a bar. Nicole has done worse! So Chloe continues to suffer until the next hot guy comes along for her to have sex with. The SOB better get here fast because Chloe without sex is like a day without sunlight.... By the way, thanks Days writers for the shoddy out of character exit for Phillip. I'm sure Phloes everywhere are pissed and I don't blame them.

Daniel and Jennifer. We know you are getting together, we know. You can stop bumping into each other and touching each other in awkward manners. WE GET IT!

Estimado Darío, dejar de hablar español. Por favor. Usted es muy agradable a la vista, pero usted me está dando un dolor de cabeza. Creo que Melanie le gusta. Sólo una suposición.

I hope Dario understands Spanish.

So Troy killed Arianna. We still don't care thanks for that.

Fake Rafe killed himself some Faye, annoyed Sami into leaving for Colorado, and pissed off the whole town. Can he write for the show? Is Fake Rafe funny...OF COURSE, but is this storyline crappy...YES. Meanwhile the real Rafe is doing Arts and Crafts while plotting his escape to somewhere we don't know of yet because he has no clue who he is. Riveting!

EJ and Taylor are in love...so much in love that they make doves cry. Okay I cannot really prove that but they make me want to puke. When Nicole finds out I hope she chases Taylor around with a shovel and decaptitates her. I don't know how Tamara Braun is going to save the Taylor character, but she got a big task ahead of her and I'm pretty sure she has it in her to do it. If she fails...yeah let's decapitate the bitch.

Theo and Ciara have run away and are still missing. If Ciara doesn't come back 16 and pregnant this show really missed a good opportunity! I hope. Ciara. Comes back with Theo. and He fixes. way Ciara talks. Maybe she needs a. Ciara needs new battery. Because clearly she is a ROBOT! I hope Lexie takes Ciara over her knee and whoops some ass showing he true DiMera colors. If she can't have an affair she can at least be an abusive mother to other people's children.

Oh yeah and I can't forget.... Will still gay. Gay still Will.

April FOOL's Day...

So there "will" be a gay character. Soap Opera Digest confirmed who it "will" be but I "will" not spoil it for you guys AT ALL. No sir! I "Will" not be moved to. I "Will" just say....I TOLD YA SO! HAHA Clearly they are stalking my page and stealing my story ideas. Carly is on drugs. I wish it wasn't painkillers or other pills. I want Carly on COCAINE! She should start dating a HOT drug dealer who she sleeps with for drugs and he is so hot we want him with her but realize he is bad for her. Carly doing cocaine off a mirror would be AMAZING! Rafe 2 is still alive, sill being annoying, pissing Sami off, but hey at least he killed Fay! To the Days writers stalking my stuff....STOP THIS STORYLINE NOW! It's a huge turn off. Chloe isn't having sex....So Sad. Brady still has clothing on...Even More Sad. Okay I thought I wanted Brelanie but Melanie and Brady together might be too brother/sisterish for me. However, I won't count them out yet. Dario is annoying me already though. He is going after Melanie's 5 million dollar divorce settlement money. Nothing says "I'm sorry for sleeping with your hot Stepmom" like 5 million dollars. Victor and Maggie, Kate and Stefano -----> Hottest couples on the show right now. Yes they make Vivian puke but you know what, both couples are adorable and can get into a movie really cheap. DOUBLE DATES!!! Hope and Bo are dealing with Ciara issues. I'm so glad Days of Our Lives gave the Bope fans what they wanted and then give them this backburner crap that is not resolving any issues they had. BRING ON THE SUMMER STORYLINE! Taylor.....still not Tamara Braun so I have nothing nice to say. I've never felt so bad for Nicole in the entirety of the show. And finally just to address this: If there is a Days writer stalking my page..which I AM beginning to suspect because I called the GAY character, Brelanie, Chad being a DiMera, Carly on drugs, Ben/NuTaylor getting fired because they sucked, and other minor comments I've made ACTUALLY happening...LISTEN TO THE FANS MORE! Rafe 2 better end sooner rather than later because no one wants to watch shit when its boring, lame, and even the actors look like they aren't enjoying it. Rafe 2 was fun for a couple a weeks...Months? I'd like you to pay me to watch thank you. Side note: If Chloe sleeps with a priest I'm going to laugh because I made that comment also. Thank you! lol.

Like Sand Annoyingly Stuck In Your Shoe....

Rafe 2 is still alive, still being creepy, and there is no end in sight for this story right now, but ya know what even if it lasted ANOTHER day it would still be too long. So which fans got screwed over by this story. Let's round it up. We have EJ fans who are screwed over, Rafe fans being screwed over, Sami fans (because let's face it this is NOT the real Sami) and then the general Days fan who has to watch this shit or based on ratings..NOT watch this shit. I'm not going to go over the whole rape scenario because it's just an argument that I don't want to have, but I will say that this is the WRITERS fault. Sami is looking stupid, Rafe 2 while sometimes funny is seriously gross, and EJ is off falling in love with Taylor...for NO reason whatsoever. EJ/Taylor makes no sense and the buildup was a huge FAILURE. Sorry but it makes no sense, and when does Tamara Braun get here because you know who is just terrible and making me ill.

Another problem: Dear Melanie.....I don't really like you right now because you are being a whiny brat, get over it! Even your father Daniel is moving on with his life but you are just being a miserable obnoxious freak and it's killing me. Daniel hanging out with Jen is more fun because Melanie is always having a pity party.

Stephanie...leave.

Nathan.....leave quicker.

Dario. You better be gay and you better be gay with Will. Seriously this show needs a Will/Dario/Melanie love triangle. The possibility of a gay character on the show is a big rumor, but it's still just a rumor. My thoughts...if it does not involve Will, then it is a huge cop out. Ya'll know I said he was gay for the longest time ever. The sad part about all of this: Days writers, no matter which character it is, will probably RUIN this storyline with their terrible writing, story arcs, ideas, etc.

Vivian and Kate had a cakefight. It only lasted 5 seconds. Next time IT NEEDS TO BE LONGER! The show is missing its humor and the fans are suffering for it.

Chad and Abigail. Oh just have teen sex already and spare me the crap conversations.

Victor and Maggie: the one BRIGHT spot. FINALLY they admitted they are into each other. Perfect buildup, perfect writing, but if they screw this up I will kill the writers. Okay not really, but I might stop watching the show. These two need ROMANCE thanks.

Carly....I don't blame you for taking drugs your life sucks. Oh yeah SPOILER!

Bo and Hope: Okay seriously I've been reminded of how you met once every six months, so can you please just move on with your lives and live in the present?! No wonder Ciara wants to run away...she's tired of hearing Bo and Hope have the same damn conversation. Even Theo's had it and he likes everyone! Dear writers, Bo and Hope need a story, not the crap you are writing.

So just to recap: Days of Our Lives right now...to call it a hot mess would be an insult to ME, so I am just going to call it a despicable steaming pile of crap. Sorry but it's true.

Do You Believe in Magic?

I am pretty sure absolutely nothing really happened this week storywise.

Taylor.....still alive. Just die and come back as a better actress quicker please.

Rafe2/Rafe.....story that won't die and will probably be with us for another year and a half.

Justin/Adrienne....Apparently still on the show, who knew? They got engaged and we didn't even see them really court each other or have cute scenes. Just a lovely throw away to remind us they are still together. Then throw in a random Lexie scene, mixed in with some weird Vivian shit and you have a smorgasbord of CRAP!

Hope.....she gets out of jail and is apparently looking better than ever. Clearly someone has been stealing pub food. So now Hope is reduced to giving everyone in town advice just like Maggie does. It's a Horton thing!

Nathan......you are creepy, please leave the show sooner rather than later. Make sure you take Melanie's new personality with you!

Chloe and Phil are bonding over baby Parker. Someone they both managed to get haircuts and tans as they are parenting.

Will.......yeah you know.

Abby/Chad/Gaby/Will....Ok I used to love the teens storylines on this show. Now...not so much. I hope they don't screw this up royally but hey it's Days so....they will.

Stefano....I feel bad that Stefano has to deal with Rafe 1. Its beneath him to be doing this drugging someone and changing their memory thing for the 89th time.

ONLY REASON TO WATCH DAYS RIGHT NOW: Maggie + Victor = Best Storyline, Best Couple, Best buildup to a couple, best DIALOGUE, and most romantic shit ever. When your best couple on a show are senior citizens and they are only on about twice a month...YOU HAVE A PROBLEM! Magic is cool, classy, and refreshing for this show because its something we are not used to...GOOD WRITING and a great soap romance. Put them on more and stop suffocating us with 105 Rafe scenes a day and EJ blinking at Taylor. Thanks!

I Need the MemoryErasing Drug!

Well I'm not to thrilled with Days of Our Lives lately. The storylines are terrible currently. I will give a big KUDOS to Molly and Nadia for their acting these past few weeks though. Leave it to Molly and Nadia to somehow work through the crap that is their scripts and have good performances considering the dialogue/material.

Chloe went crazy, lost Parker, and now she just needs a damn shower. Somewhere between that all she got a manicure and a tan, but that is neither here nor there. Also, apparently if your hair is disheveled and you wear sweats it means you crazy....that's like 98% of the Days audience. Way to go NBC! Melanie also lost her child and she broke up with Phillip. I thought it was dumb she was having a baby anyway but whatever. Now she has to deal with the wonderful world of Nathan, who has apparently become a weird stalker. Nathan is so smothering now that I have trouble breathing during his scenes. So not only did Days give Mark Hapka the boot, they also decided to single handily destroy the character of Nathan. GREAT!

Side note: Stephanie is now a bitch. A bitch who has a backbone. So Shelley announces she is leaving and THEN they decide to give the character some depth? uh huh. Stephanie also got dry humped by Rafe number 2. It's no wonder she left the show. Had they made Stephanie a bitch with some independence in the first place I would have loved her...but Noooooooo.

Will and Gaby admitted their feelings for one another. Yeah Will still gay and Gaby will be so traumatized by her boyfriend being gay she will turn lesbian. This show isn't on the rainbow network for nothing!

Rafe 2/Rafe/Sami/EJ/Stefano: END THIS SHIT! We get it, he'll start beating Sami next at this rate.

Taylor: DIE in a vat of acid and come back as Tamara Braun.

Phillip, Brady, and Chloe are living in the Kiriakis mansion now with Baby Parker...can you say THREESOME! No wonder Victor is pissed. By the way what the hell happened to Victor and Maggie. They should not be taking it slow at their age. I don't want to see a Brady/Victor war, I'd rather see Maggie/Victor love!

Chad and EJ bonding.......Thank God Johnny was in the scene...that's all I am saying.

New Abby: Okay it is still early but as of right now....I LIKE HER. Shocking I know that I like someone already. She has some cool points: She doesn't like Jack, thinks for herself, and she cute. She already has a crush on Chad....well what do you expect he is the only young guy in town she isn't related to. She has no choice! So we'll see but so far so good.

Shoutout this week goes to: Nicole Walker DiMera. She married EJ, looked great at her wedding of big haired people, and she had sex with EJ. But really this woman deserves special kudos because she had to spend ALL THOSE EXCRUCIATING MOMENTS WITH TAYLOR! Its amazing she is still alive.

One Flew Over Chloe's Cuckoo Nest

And I'm back! Sorry but the show has been really slow and I haven't really felt like commenting on some of the crap we've had to watch...speaking of crap. TAYLOR!

Okay Taylor got recast with one of my favorite Daytime actresses, Tamara Braun, which implies to me Taylor will get evil, which is what her character might need. She is SOOOO boring and it makes no sense whatsoever that this random girl would have EJ all excited. There is no chemistry and she's obnoxious with her I'm a good girl crap. Sorry but its TRUE! I also don't need to see 80 thousand flashbacks of them bumping into each other and acting like fools. Also why the hell is the whole damn town in love with the chick? God I hate when they do this.

Will.....still gay.

Okay Chloe is fucking nuts. Excuse my language but that pretty much sums it up. She is hearing voices, Parker is talking to her apparently and ordering her to bark like a dog. Okay that last part is not true but that is exactly where we were headed. So Chloe tried to kill herself.....by jumping off a small Pier. Yeah you can't die that way. Days writing FAILS again, and Chloe could have easily taken all her pills at ONCE DUH! Philip luckily saved her, but I am not really thrilled with the Melanie and Kate taking advantage of a woman going through Postpartum Depression. The show has made a joke out of ANOTHER disease, and why the hell is Melanie being evil all of a sudden? I don't really get it, Kate makes sense but this Melanie being a bitch business has to go. You also have to wonder where the hell Nathan went but obviously the writers don't care.

Jen and Daniel might be getting together but if she keeps pushing Carly and Daniel together I might start a campaign for her to lose her heart again. Carly + Daniel equals gross and not cool. They are like brother and sister and have ZERO sexual chemistry.

EJ and Nicole are MARRIED!!! Can he refrain from having sex with his "true love" Taylor until the cast change? Thanks! This is only sad because Nicole is going to get hurt again when it is clear she actually cares for EJ. I'm still not sure WHY she cares about him but whatever, and they make a good team....so naturally the writers SPLIT them up.

Bo and Hope are back together, sorta kinda, still not sure. Right now its constant family time with Ciara so the jury is still out if the writers are going to make them interesting again and fix all the problems they apparently have. Can they at least have Bo cut all the old man cranky shit? Seriously he used to be funny, go back to that!

Will.....even gayer than the last time I mentioned him.

Rafe 2 is having sex with Sami as I am writing this. Please end this storyline as its completely stupid and a complete waste of time. I'd rather see Allie with Lucas in Hong Kong and who can blame her for leaving! Also, shame on the Days writers for having Stefano go after a child?! That would never happen sorry! He loves his wife and would never have kidnapped her granddaughter. Total joke and hope they never go down that road again.

Where is Stephanie by the way? Oh that's right I don't care......

Chad is apparently officially IN the DiMera family. Until he wears a suit and breaks the law....I'm not calling this official. Right now he is the leader of the babies as Theo and Johnny are obsessed with him......but not the way WILL is....mmhmm.

Let's Get Rid of Taylor and Keep Fake Rafe!

Parker better hope he is SORASED in the next 24 hours because the kid is going to have to learn to make his own bottle, turn off the stove, and change and feed himself before Chloe kills him. I feel bad that Chloe is a terrible mom considering all she wanted was a kid all her life. She was making the baby cookies.....HE IS NOT EVEN ON SOLIDS YET! Can someone just step in already, get her help, and then take care of the kid? Also, Dear Days, there are ways of showing a mother with PPD without making her look bat shit crazy and endangering a child's life, but I digress.

Melanie is going to team up with Kate to take away Parker. By the time they do it Parker will either be in the oven with the cookies, or 15 years old and dating Syndey. Also, Nathan and Melanie are just not going to happen so can we please stop seeing scenes where he declares his love and she looks like she has a stomach ache? I'm done with that nonsense.

Rafe number 2 and Sami had sex. He gave her a hickey and I'm pretty sure that was DOOL writers kinky version of sex. How EJ and Stefano gave the Rafes matching Penis I will never know but you have to admire them for their dedication and accuracy. Rafe learns he has a double, and I think like the rest of us he likes the new him too. EJ and Nicole also have sex. I'm pretty sure no one used protection in either scenario so there will be more babies to give cancer to, kidnap, fake their deaths and leave in burning homes.

This week ended with EJ bumping into Taylor, turning around in a dreamlike state and falling in love at first sight. What a load of complete horse shit. This bitch is not special and she has chemistry with no one but a mirror. The whole town loves Taylor for no reason whatsoever. Somehow I think this is actually mocking Carly's return where everyone hated her. FOR WHAT REASON is Taylor in town? I don't get it nor am I liking it. Apparently Lexie is her new best friend, which makes perfect sense since Abe slept with her mother....YEAH IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! Also, would I buy EJ eventually falling in love with Nicole's sister if she lives in town for a while...yeah sure. Do I buy that he bumps into a random chick and is smitten instantly?...NO! It's completely out of character for EJ and another thing...Taylor sucks.

To catch you up on the Hope drama..She is finally out of jail. Now it will only take her and Bo about another three months to get their shit together. JOY! Carly is all by herself and crying constantly. I feel like I should be paid to watch this! Jen wants to get her and Daniel together. WORST IDEA EVER! One..Daniel does not date women his age, Two...EWWW. Jen and Daniel will get together as she tries to get Daniel with Carly. I don't think I am going to like that pairing either but you know what, if it stops Daniel and Carly then THANK GOD. Jen gets special kudos though for having the fastest heart transplant of one's own heart surgery ever with full recuperation. Way to go!

Special mentions: Carrie made an appearance, I'm still not sure why. Sami and Carrie getting along......APOCALYPSE! They NEVER got along and life is better that way. Eww. Just Ewww.

Will.... Still Gay.

Vivian...now messing with Stefano and Kate. Dear Vivian, either torment Carly or leave town. Do not screw with the wonderful that is Stefano/Kate and Victor/Maggie. The old couples are ALL we have going for the damn show!

Special Shout Outs: Johnny...just because he is the best actor/character on the show that I can tolerate completely anymore.

Parker: Anyone stuck with Chloe for that amount of time is just....God Bless Him.

Rafe number 2's penis. You apparently look like Rafe number one's penis but you are just a sparkling personality on our screens. You are always standing out in scenes with Sami.....and Nicole.....and Gaby......and Brady. WOW!