As the Locker Room Smells

It's the Stephanie show. BLAHHHHHH! Stephanie tells Adrienne that everything is great with Nathan. Then she sees Nathan and Melanie hugging and freaks the fuck out. This girl has such low self-esteem she because a psychopath over the course of an hour. Chloe calls Phillip to meet up with her and apparently it is difficult to just say Hey I got a paternity test OVER THE DAMN PHONE! Phil and her meet up and discuss that she won't know the results for days. Stephanie finds them and creepily wonders what they are discussing. When Phil tells her nothing, Steph decides the next best thing to do is break into Chloe's apartment. How did she figure out how to break into a place? She is smart enough to break into a place but isn't smart enough to ignore a call from her grandma?! Daniel and Chloe return and Steph needs to hide her ass!

Sami and Rafe make out in the locker room. Apparently the room smelled so bad that when Sami walked away Rafe smelled her freshness and then made out with her again. He stops them telling her the room is dirty. God I wish I was joking. This is like bad porn! Rafe is pissed Sami is marrying EJ and she is pissed Rafe knows the truth. She confronts EJ about it, but I'm too busy noticing Sydney eating her fruit snacks! I want one! She thinks EJ is lying, but she will still marry him because she needs to have sex with someone and is very horny. Nicole thinks her life sucks because Brady dumped her so she goes to Chloe for advice...LAST PERSON YOU GO TO! Chloe tells her she cannot help and needs to get her hair done. Wow what a rude bitch. Nicole realizes Chloe cannot help and her and she goes to a bar. Best idea ever! She runs into Rafe and the two start drinking together. If they have sex that is just lazy writing...which means they might have sex with this writing team.

Maggie wants to know what the hell is going on between Nathan and Melanie when she catches them hugging. I think they are having sex through their clothing Maggie!! She nosy but she doesn't want them to screw up their lives. Melanie meets up with Daniel for a little bit, but the best part is when she meets up with Chloe! Melanie and Chloe see each other at the Pub, and when Melanie sits down Chloe looks annoyed.Chloe is rude and very short with Melanie. The conversation ends, and Melanie says to herself that Chloe better tell people she is pregnant otherwise they will think she is a bitch! BEST LINE! Maggie and Nathan go to the pub and Maggie has to deal with that bitch Caroline Brady. Nathan wonders why the grannies are going at it. She tells him about Victor, and he wonders if his grandma is getting frisky. She is being coy but I am pretty sure Maggie is having dirty dreams. Yes I went there!

I forgot to mention that Justin is a woman now and Adrienne might be a lesbian in love with him. Yes Justin is sad Hope is in jail, and unfortunately Adrienne feels the need to comfort her ex. RUDE!

Previews: Victor yells at Brady: good God, you still have feelings for her.Obviously this must be Nicole, Arianna, or any other damn woman Brady likes. Victor hates all his grandson's love interests. Brady does have weird taste in women. Chloe a whore, Nicole a drunk, and Arianna an ex con.

Nicole tells Rafe that she blew it, just like he did. Okay I can make a really dirty joke here or just let it go. I am going to choose to let it go and perhaps SAVE IT FOR TOMORROW!

Sami asks EJ when he wants to get married. Why not tomorrow? It figures this show stretches everything out, but when it comes to their marriage. LET'S DO IT TOMORROW!!! God this show is weird.