The Old and the Gross Sarcophagus

Carly is on the show today....you wouldn't know it though because someone decided she should just sit in the back of the room crying the entire time. Thanks Days!! Bo is being a huge asshole defending Hope who can do no wrong. He goes after Dick, who is wearing an orange jumpsuit for no reason whatsoever. Bo talks about his wife and how much he will stand by her and for some reason Carly doesn't tell him to Kiss her Ass!! Yes her husband beat her up, but having to listen to someone COMPLIMENT that SKINNY FREAK is even worse!! Leave him Carly and find a new dude!

Vivian goes sarcophagus shopping. Yes I wish I were joking. She goes on and on about what her coffin will look like. She reveals to Gus that she plans on burying Maggie alive and how Maggie's awful red hair will clash with the interior. You would seriously think that once someone failed at burying someone alive that they would not try it again or just try good old fashion murder. Luckily this show is written by AMAZING WRITERS who like to recycle. At least Vivian was laying on the ground at one point practicing, considering it will be HER in the coffin and NOT Maggie.

Nicole tells Brady all about how she was blackmailing EJ with the Sydney kidnapping information, and now EJ will kill her once she finds out. I just think he will blink alot and yell. Brady refuses to help her because it means he has to leave his clothing on and he just won't do anything like that. Maggie stops Brady from drinking later on....RUDE but I forgive her. If she stops him from removing his shirt...then we got problems. Victor taunts Nicole just for fun...love him!! He has some booze and tells her he was behind Rafe getting on her kinky side. Victor is the king of banter, and the person who writes for him, Maggie, and Vivian...SHOULD BE HEAD WRITER THANKS!

Rafe plays Sami a tape with Nicole saying she overheard EJ say something...Again...NOT JOKING! Again, they wasted another day of nothingness. Sami was pissed that Rafe played her a tape from Nicole...and I have to agree with her. She yells at Rafe for sleeping with the woman...if he did you cannot blame him because Nicole is sterilized unlike SOMEONE who shall go nameless. EJ rants at Rafe for being rude, and Sami is still furious. Finally Rafe takes out the CD, EJ tries to stop him from playing it, and Rafe pushes play...too bad the SHOW IS OVER!! I HATE THIS!! Not only am I going to shoot EJ...I'm going to shoot THE WRITERS!

Previews:
Maggie tells Melanie that maybe it's time for her to leave Salem. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Maggie cannot leave because I need her and Victor time to keep me sane...also her lemon bars are to die for.

EJ tells Sami to not let him do this to us. Well you were behind the kidnapping you good looking asshole. Also you know he'll blame Sami for everything that happened too soooooo yeah quite lying and man up to your stupid plan that backfired in your face.

Bo yells in court that's enough, stop, she's suffered enough. She is HOPE...Apparently HOPE is suffering. Hope looks like she lost 20 more pounds in jail and teased her hair out so it looks like her head is large. Lovely. And if we are going to talk about suffering I think we all are suffering for having to look at her like that. Great storyline idea...Carly kidnaps Hope, FORCE FEEDS HER for 3 months, and then Bo realizes what a moron Hope is even when she is overweight. Thanks!