The Old People Shouldn't Be Restless

Quick Recap for today:

Rafe and Sami discuss the same stuff they always discuss. Looks like her and EJ are getting closer because of Rafe's inability to actually make any sense! They bond over Johnny being a evil little child for playing his parents against each other. He might be my new favorite DiMera. EJ agrees to give Nicole cash to shut her up and she says goodbye to Dick, the man not the "ya know." Nicole moves her evidence against EJ before Rafe, who COULD NOT HAVE POSSIBLY figured out that code, goes to the locker location.

Hope doesn't remember kissing Justin, and why would she he is boring! She tells him she needs time and space, and Justin should just go back to Adrienne who actually really loves him! Bo leaves the hospital and returns home with Carly where she helps him relax. Hope walks in and I'm just waiting for Billie to show up to offer Bo a foot massage. Why does this dude have women all over him? Hope stays as Carly, who is NOT CERTIFIED to be doing hypnosis, helps Bo try to remember events. He flashbacks to the Fancy Face days on that boat. Luckily Bo is beardless but he has longer hair than most female viewers. Carly asks him to remember the events from the night of the attack. Hope is excited to hear what he remembers. I really dislike this story!

Brady visits his sponsor Maggie to discuss his accidental relapse. Maggie warns Brady to stay away from Nicole, and he is annoyed she is putting her two cents in. Honestly, it isn't Maggie's business but she is right that Nicole is just bad news for Brady. Nicole calls and wants to meet up with Brady. On his way to see her he runs into Dick, the man not the "ya know." Maggie talks to Victor about how she worries about Brady. Unfortunately the conversation takes a turn when she reminds Victor to stay away. Best storyline on the show!! Suzanne made me want to cry today when she reminds Victor that he is a married man. John and her are making this story exciting and fun to watch.

Previews: Brady tells Nicole that Dick has to pay. He has to go down. Dick has to go down. It's like the dirty jokes just write themselves folks!

Sami asks EJ if he is proposing. If you have to ask then clearly he didn't do it right or you are a moron. Knowing it is Sami it probably means she is a moron.

Carly asks Bo what he remembers. If he starts talking about Hope I might throw up. And by Hope I mean the old one who weighed a normal weight and wasn't a psychopath. Bo takes forever to remember shit and make a decision. Rude Bo!

Guiding Light ...R.I.P. Uncle Dino

Sorry I was unable to do an update today on Days of Our Lives. There was a death in my family this afternoon. My uncle passed away today, and ironically he would sometimes watch Guiding Light with me in it's final year because it was his wife's favorite show. While he wasn't a soap opera fan, he thought it was funny how wrapped up we all became in the storylines. You can catch my play by play on Twitter of the show but I am unable to post daily for this whole week. I may be able to do posts sporadically throughout the week but we will see. Thanks for your understanding and am looking forward to getting back to watching Days. Take care everyone.

All Victor's Women

Bo can't remember who attacked him...big fucking surprise. He can't even remember he got a sore throat from pulling out his tube like a psychopath. Justin tells Hope what happened and she is concerned. She questions Bo about the attack because she is the lead investigator of the case...of course! She then asks Carly if she has an alibi..Let's pin this one on Carly Manning who was in surgery. Ten bucks says she has an even lamer twin. Bo's tox screen comes back and he was poisoned with antianxitey meds and other stuff. I bet Carly worried at first that Bo got in her stash. Also, why hasn't Hope noticed her pills are missing. Hope is so far in the clear until that little dastardly Theo Carver tells his mom and dad that Hope's treasures are WALLETS! You would think they'd put two and two together but Fat Chance. Hope and Bo share a lovey dovey moment where they hold hands and Bo says she will always be family. Carly watched as they do this and she looks like someone shot her puppy...oh wait this just in: Carly Manning accidentally shot her puppy.

Caroline is the biggest cockblocker in Daytime. Yes I said it!!! he is getting all up in Victor and Maggie's business. The bitch needs to just fix her dentures and shut up. Maggie is annoyed she is in the middle of two women fighting over Victor. Caroline forgives Victor for not calling her about Bo, and the old cow calms down. Victor goes to see Maggie, and she admits she likes him. Awwww It's really sad that this is the most exciting storyline on the show and the respective parties are all over 70. Three women want Victor...that's hot.

Nathan tells Melanie he's moving in with Stephanie....no one cares. Stephanie and Adrienne discuss Patch being upset....no one cares either. Stephanie finds a picture of Melanie in Nathan's boxes....Wait...we don't care!!

Stefano reads Madeline's obituary. Yes she is really dead but not to worry because she is back on True Blood next week bitches!!! YES!! Jessica Tuck is awesome on that show. Stefano tells Kate that now that Madeline is gone they will not have problems....yeah right. Kate offers her condolences to Chad's dad but the guy is still a prick and he mentions Madeline's safety deposit box was empty. Kate talks to herself and thinks she has the only copy of Chad's birth certificate. Stefano thinks it is weird she is talking to herself. Apparently Stefano has been oblivious to the fact that more than half the damn town talks to themselves. In fact he lives with Sami who talks to herself so much she never had time or her kids or her friends. Will blames himself for Madeline's death, but Chad explains its not his fault and he wants to know the truth. Chad plans on questioning Kate about his mother's past. Okay if I were Chad I would meet Kate at a hotel and bring lots of cash. I hear she opens up alot this way.

Previews: Stefano tells Kate that it's time that she learn how the DiMeras deal with their enemies. Okay the woman used to work for the man, kept secrets from him, and has been avoiding him her whole life and NOW she's going to learn how they deal with enemies? Are we just ignoring their past completely? Yes they are married now but these two were not best friends and she was an enemy so I think she knows Stefano.

Chloe tells Phillip that she doesn't think they can keep this a secret any more. Phillip should seriously just shoot the bitch, and dispose of the body. I cannot believe he has not had a heart attack or stroke by now because of this lady. Chloe cannot keep her mouth shut and this isn't even a sex joke!

Dan tells Carly that it's over and it's all gone to hell with Chloe. Wow it only took him about four months to realize this. It would have taken Rafe eight months so I applaud Daniel for his speedy reveal. Of course Manning will get him to think he is crazy and now I can really dislike her for ruining that moment.

The Crash Cart and the Restless

Hope injects air into Bo's IV, as he opens her eyes to see him do it. Dan and Carly unfortunately save Bo...actually Carly PANICS and Daniel shocks Bo back to life. I will say that watching Peter Reckell jerk out of that bed had to be the funniest thing I've seen in a while. Carly was crying, but REALLY she was laughing on the inside. Hope gets away and goes home to her little Satanic tattle tale of a daughter. She says she is sorry and she thinks Carly is onto her because she calls to tell her about Bo...yeah no they are not that smart. Hope says goodbye, perhaps just the crazier one, and goes to sleep in her ugly ass pajamas. Meanwhile Bo has a tube down his throat that he just decides to rip out, causing Carly to call him a stubborn man, when she REALLY means WTF did you just do? She should have put him in restraints. Bo just starts mumbling....that's what you get for being related to Roman..whose new hair is a scary thing of wonder.

Vivian is annoyed with Victor because he is meeting Maggie late at night again. You cannot stop the magic between Maggie and Victor. She calls Maggie a Red Headed Cow...just NO! Gus tries to take away her martini, but Ivan would have never done something so stupid. RUDE! She comes up with a plan to go to Chicago and buy Victor a bunch of Greek things...that has to be the lamest thing she's ever come up with. Gus wants to know what the hell she is thinking and where is the real Vivian. Vivian then comes up with an idea that she doesn't share with us....it figures. During their flirtatious meeting, Maggie tells Victor they shouldn't be meeting anymore. She doesn't like the Vivian/Victor situation..can you blame her? Before Victor can say anything he gets the call about Bo, and Maggie insists on going with him to the hospital...awwww!

Rafe calls Nicole from a payphone with a voice distorter, but for some odd reason I could still tell it was him. LAME! He tells her he's got information about a drug deal and has her go to the Pier. While Nicole goes there, Rafe breaks into her room and finds her diary. The fact that Nicole has a diary..also Lame! Why would Nicole keep a book like that really? Nicole realizes it is a setup and calls EJ thinking he's behind it. Then she heads back to her room and can tell someone was there, however since her diary is still there she thinks it is just her being paranoid. Rafe copied the coded diary page and is excited to crack it. Okay the fact that Rafe thinks he can crack a code....No chance in hell and he should just pay someone to figure it out for him...like Little Theo.

EJ and Sami flirt the entire episode and get nowhere as usual. He is all nice and regrets all the lies he has told Sami and hopes she never finds out because he will lose her. They talk about their past and blah blah blah...HAVE SEX ALREADY! EJ arranges for a family portrait, which I actually assumed he'd be a part of but Sami actually says to him OF COURSE you'll be in it. He kisses her goodnight and she goes to bed...they are moving too slow for my taste. Hurry up and get back together so that you have time before they break you up again!

Previews: Nathan tells Melanie that he is moving in with Stephanie. Based on Melanie's face she is as disgusted as I am. Why the hell would you move in with a girl you are clearly rebounding with? Also, Stephanie is annoying and you are better off just sleeping with the entire nursing staff, and I'm sure Chloe wouldn't mind giving it up now that she is pregnant! Play the field Nathan!

Justin tells Hope that Bo is in the hospital and was attacked. She looks sooooo concerned. The amazing thing is she had time from the night before to redo her hairstyle when she woke up. Is there anything that Hope cannot do? ......aside from eating obviously.

Carly asks Bo if he remembers who did this. Bo can't remember what he ate for breakfast and that is why he is the head of the police department. How amazing would it be if Bo blamed Carly like the rest of the town does? That would be amazing, and if you think about it, really is her fault because she was SUPPOSED to be with him and not at the hospital performing surgery. Wow they really make it easy to blame her for everything.

The Bo and the Butthead who Cannot Kill Him

Hope is about to light Bo on fire, but Daniel interrupts her. Ass! I at least wanted to see Bo partially on fire, that would have been a fun stunt. Daniel does chest compressions, and wants Bo to live...I think he has a crush on him. Roman received an anonymous tip about going to Bo's place and arrives to see Daniel saving him. Hope has a gun and hides in the kitchen and no one thinks to SEARCH THE HOUSE! Hope goes mental when she questions Baker, and Carly goes cray cray and panics when Bo is brought in. By panics I mean PANIC!!! Bo has the worst taste in women apparently. Also, I loved how professional Carly behaved, she's exactly who I want to be in a crisis with! Roman, Daniel, and Carly talk about how Bo will make it, but they wonder who would try to burn him alive. Hope sneaks into his room and talks about killing him again. Can she eventually get it right?

EJ and Nicole agree to terms of the blackmail as Rafe listens in, but doesn't hear the good stuff of course. Sami is still having sex dreams about Rafe, thus proving she is a horny bitch. Rafe shows up and tells her that he overheard EJ and Nicole planning a truce. Sami thinks he is just jealous, and ignores what he says completely. These two really suck right now. Move on, and forget the bitch Rafe. EJ lies about where he was, but he does tell Sami the truth that he was with Nicole. Smart move, FINALLY! Sami fears she is up to something, and EJ plays off the whole meeting as nothing important. Sami lets EJ know Marlena is selling the townhouse and that she'd like to stay with him. EJ smiles like a little boy looking at his first Playboy. Have sex already!

After visiting with EJ, Nicole tells Dick that they are in the clear. He wants to know how that's possible, but she just tells him that she is persuasive. She also realizes that Dick has feelings for his mugger friend and is shocked a bit, but eventually says her goodbyes and that she will miss him. Is the fun banter between these two really over? Okay that sucks! Nicole heads to the Brady Pub, where Rafe is drinking. He listens in on her conversation and has the bartender spill a drink on Nicole to distract her. RUDE and that jerk better pay for her dry cleaning. Rafe goes through her stuff and just finds her address where he will investigate further. Rafe mentioned his "half a brain" today.....could he finally be using it...I give him another 3 months of wasting time.

Chloe has the same conversation with Carly as always. Chloe is to blame, but its also Carly's fault. They come to the SAME DAMN CONCLUSION that Carly won't say anything unless the baby is NOT Daniel's. Glad we went over that all over again. Carly gets called away for a consult...unfortunately not a fashion consult because she is still wearing those ugly unfitted scrubs. Chloe meets up with Father Matt and explains that she is an even bigger hot mess than he suspected. She lets him know she is pregnant and he loos like he wants to just give up the priesthood so he doesn't have to listen to this bitch anymore. He should leave the Church for Caroline and they should judge people in private. YES! Chloe needs to join twitter and announce to all her followers she had an affair. She's told enough people and really needs to stop.

Previews: Sami asks EJ what he's talking about. Is she having trouble understanding his accent all of a sudden? I repeat..SHUT UP and HAVE SEX! Also, EJ needs to have shirtless sex...Days cannot pull a fast one on me.

Nicole is on the phone and says Oh My God it's a trap. Wow Rafe or EJ screwed up again...NO WAY?! I cannot believe that Nicole got out of a trap, because that almost NEVER happens. Also, I've never seen Nicole drink, so I think she should get more beverages on the show. Thank You Days.

Carly yells at Daniel to get the crash cart! EVERYONE PANIC!!!!!! BO IS GOING TO DIE!!!! WHY ARE WE YELLING?!!! And I thought Daniel was supposed to handle this and not Carly, why didn't he throw her out of the room? Carly has been having trouble in these high pressure situations. Also, the irony of her saving Bo when he is just going to leave her for Hope anyway. FUN TIMES!

One Bo to Light On Fire

Sami goes to see Rafe for no good reason really then to drop off his mail. LAME! Marlena is selling her place, and I guess throwing out her ungrateful daughter. So Sami will be staying with EJ permanently. Sami tells Rafe that EJ told her he loves her and her kids deserve a family. That's great that she decided this NOW! Rafe's new assistant shows up and she's about 18 years old and cute. Sami looks annoyed that they gave the job they wanted to a fetus. Okay for the last time, MOVE ON, have sex with the British guy and then find out he is scum, because this whole thing is taking WAY too long.

Speaking of pointless stories, Arianna visits EJ and fires him! I just love Hernandez days! (This is SARCASM). EJ says he isn't leaving Salem and will find find a way to clear her. I honestly cannot pay attention to these two when they have their clothing on. Also, Lindsay will be leaving the show, as she was let go today. Hopefully she gets a sex scene with James Scott because that would personally make e feel better. I'll miss you Lindsay, and think its shameful they treated you like Theresa from Passions.

Nicole and Brady discuss his feelings for Arianna, for the 90 millionth time. If my ex kept discussing this with me I would kill him. Brady just wants to be friends with Nicole...still wondering if he can be a shirtless friend. He is obsessed with helping Theresa, I mean Arianna right now. Another storyline going nowhere....Brady and Nicole need appropriate distractions, and THEN get back together if that is what Days is planning.

Hope drugs Bo, and she might be the creepiest bitch on the planet. She is drinking fluids and will be introducing baby food into her diet very soon. Bo asks how she would feel if he left Carly and had her and the little creeper move back in. Hope stalls and tries to stop Bo from drinking his drugged coffee. He is wondering WTF is going on. I'm also confused how this version of Hope called Carly her hero the other day, but today when she discusses her she hates her again. This bitch needs shock therapy, which could include Carly chasing her with jumper cables for all I care. Eventually Bo passes out, and Hope likes him when he's unconscious...what a compliment about Bo's sexual performance. Hope goes to see Dick to get her top secret supplies: Matches and a Gas Can....really? She is going to burn down the house with Bo in it. She pours gasoline all over Bo, around the house, and then plans on throwing some matches on him. This is LOVE, and with all that body hair Bo will go up in flames!

Nicole meets EJ at the pier, to blackmail him for all eternity....yeah about 3 months. EJ yells at Nicole so loudly that I actually got startled, and I think Ari Zucker was generally fearful as well. EJ assumes Nicole wants him to lose Arianna's case and get her thrown in jail. Nicole surprises him with the news she actually wants Arianna cleared of the charges, and he realizes this is all for Brady. If Brady investigates Arianna's case he will learn Nicole set her up. Rafe arrives and starts to listen in on their convo, but knowing Rafe he will have hearing troubles and stumble out of the bushes before he hears anything good.

Previews: Rafe overhears Nicole and EJ talking about keeping a secret. Great knowing Rafe it will only take another couple of months before he realizes the truth. His ears are not directly connected to his brain, and cannot put things together that quickly.

Sami is still being annoying. Are we really surprised? The lady is leading two grown men on, and she cannot make up her mind. Just pick one! She always makes bad decisions, but this time she is just doing nothing and doing her heavy breathing thing which is getting really sad. A horny Sami is not an attractive sight!

Daniel tries to save Bo as Hope is pointing a gun behind the door. A real woman would shoot Daniel causing the fire to start, and then you are home free. This lady's plans suck though! Seriously of ALL people to stop by Bo's house, it's Daniel? Oh please! Roman or Abe would have made more sense, and I say lock them all up in that house and torch it! Hope mugged people and got away with it, but she can't even light a match?! DAMN!

As Hope Gets Thinner

Bo walks into his home to find Hope looking like a secret spy/streetwalker. She comes up with the lame excuse she is dressed for undercover work. She calls him Beauregard and kisses him, making him even more confused. All of a sudden he wants to be there for her, but its bogus because why didn't he do this months ago?! Love how he comments how she looks different. FEED HOPE! He makes her emotional and she seems to remember the good times, and then Carly calls and ruins everything! Bo makes them some coffee, takes a call from Roman, and Hope slips drugs into his coffee. Can this stuff make him cooler like it does for Hope? I'd like to see Bo start wearing black dresses with red lipstick.

Nathan and Stephanie are soooooo excited to move in together. Yeah I'm not thrilled.
Stephanie tells Adrienne about Nathan's plans to move in, and the two talk about how "great" everything is, which means that things are going to SUCK for Stephanie. Now I'm thrilled. Melanie enjoys some Hershey's Bliss (BUY SOME FOLKS!) and her and Phil talk about the same old stuff, and she continues to make Phil feel guilty about cheating without even realizing it. Melanie is in the kitchen wearing only Phil's shirt and Nathan walks in, and the three share an uncomfortable moment. Nathan shouldn't have stayed around so long, and their uncomfortable moments are getting annoying. Stephanie just needs to be a major huge bitch already, and sabotage shit like this from happening. OMG call Nicole!

Chloe comes up with some lame excuse for the Father Matt fiasco, and Daniel stops pressuring her eventually for answers. Chloe has "issues": which means Chloe is a major dumb ho who needs therapy and a puppy, not a baby. After they have sex, Daniel asks what she wants to do as far as the wedding is concerned. Chloe tells Daniel she doesn't want to get married right away and Daniel says WTF?! Daniel flips out and doesn't understand why Chloe has been wish-washy for months. OBVIOUSLY she is hiding something from you Doc! I feel like once the truth comes out, Daniel is so dumb he still won't get it.

Charles blames Chad for Madeline's death. Well that's just rude. He calls him a son of a bitch and a bastard. Ironically those are all terms that actually apply to Chad's situation. Stefano, Kate and Lexie try to comfort Chad, but he insists on blaming himself for his mother's death. Stefano feels bad about the situation as it reminds him of his relationship with Tony, but he is happy the Madeline chapter of his life is over...Kate's like..um NOT REALLY?! Lexie explains that Maddie suffered from aneurysms, but both Chad and his dad feel Chad is to blame. Charles is a prick and can he die next? Chad tells Kate that Charles never acted like a father to him..with Kate muttering..THERE IS A REASON FOR THAT! Okay getting my "I told you so" ready for the big announcement!! HAHA!

Previews: Nicole tells EJ that she's going to blackmail him until the end of time. On this show the end of time could be early September...or perhaps SWEEPS WEEK?! When is she going to ask him to stop being Arianna's lawyer? That would be a good blackmail thing to do. Why am I the one who is coming up with better storylines?!

Sami yells at Rafe that "He loves me." Guessing she means EJ, and I'm not sure but I think that subject is kind of a bad one to bring up to RAFE of all people. If that is her way of making Rafe jealous, Sami should just go back to her roots and roofie Rafe and sleep with him. At this point that is the only way they are getting back together.

Hope tells Bo that he betrayed her. I liked cray cray Hope until she became a whiny mess. Now she is just regular Hope with a bumpit. Can she just set him on fire already? This lady mugged people in a minute but it is taking her forever to set the guy on fire. P.S Do not call him Beauregard or sing a song ever again. Thanks Hope.

Days of My Hapka

Mark Hapka does not have his shirt on. I will cherish this moment---DAMMIT Stephanie! Okay they don't cover up Shelly's tattoo on her tummy! Also, they are very wet...um yeah. He gives her a present, and she's like what's this....okay just open the damn thing and stop acting surprised. Nathan has been reading a chicks manual....I'm so proud. He got her a bracelet and they are having sex on the beach...the actual act not the drink...until Melanie cock blocks them. Melanie thinks they should get a room, Nathan tells her to back off, and that wasn't awkward at all. Nathan and Stephanie are still wet...Nathan asks Steph if he can move in with her. WOW way to take things slow. He's love to live with her and Steph says YES! Like there was any doubt.

Stefano is getting snooty with Kate because of the Madeline situation. Meanwhile Madeline redoes her backflip and Chad looks in horror as his mother moans to death. She says that she lied for him...uh huh! He's holding her body awkwardly and the whore is going to die, sorry. Maddie is at the hospital and Kate and Stefano find Chad semi-crying?! I can't tell..its just sad. Kate comforts Chad, and his father arrives and he explains how Maddie fell. Chad has a flashback to the Prostitute conversation. Lexie tells Chad and his father that Madeline has died. Kate and Stefano are at a loss, and Chad takes it bad.

Bo asks Roman about Hope....really? Never go to Roman for help! The man is useless and all he does is mumble. Roman advises Bo to ease up on Hope...and this is why you never ask for family's help. He dumb! Bo says he won't turn his back on Hope....like he did months ago?! Bo goes to see Hope and there is the little creeper!! The little devil explains how she saw Hope hugging some man. Mommy is a tart! Henderson tells Bo that Hope is not in the house.

Hope talks about killing Bo, and Dick tells Hope he's in love with her. Okay ewww she seems flattered, and emotional. He asks her not to kill Bo...Go Dick! Dick plots to mug Bo and take all his money...isn't he poor? Dick wants to go to Venice...Okay not making that joke. Hope thinks this is all nice, and Dick doesn't lie. Hope wants to count on him, so she tells him to go get her supplies. After he leaves Hope says no one is talking her out of killing Bo....wait not even Dick?! Hope breaks into....her own home actually. Apparently Bo is the Devil...no its still Ciara. Hope describes hell on earth...it must be part of her diet plan. Hope has OJ gloves on and then runs into BO!

Melanie plans a baby shower for Chloe...PARTY!! Phillip thinks this is a BAD idea. He goes to visit Chloe where they have their daily paranoia session. He learns about Vivian's role in everything and wants to kill her. Chloe takes her smart pill and says bad idea because then Vivian will know everything. She then tells him that Father Matt knows all. Why not just kick the guy in the balls?! Phillip thinks Chloe is officially the dumbest person on the planet. Phillip thinks they should stay calm..I say PANIC! Melanie and Phillip make out after her run in with the half naked couple at the beach. Mel and Phil have sex and she brings up babies again. Well that just killed the mood. They aren't ready for kids...then WHY does she keep bringing it up?!

Chloe and Daniel talk about baby names and Victor. Okay the name Ichabod? NO! Ichabod Lane Jonas...just NO! Daniel meets up with Father Matt because when it's your day off of work what else would you do then meet up with a priest?? Father Matt tells Daniel there was no problem with the annulment. DUN DUN DUNNNN! Daniel is confused and the Padre suggests he ask Chloe what's going on. Not even Marvin Gaye would tackle this issue! Daniel confronts Chloe about the Father Matt crap. Chloe didn't make any sense with her explanation and Daniel is like WTF is going on! Chloe says she changed her mind and wants a civil ceremony...Daniel don't believe her.

Previews: Daniel tells Chloe he needs to know what is going on with her. They literally have this conversation every week. IF not for the baby I would have told him to break up with the girl two weeks ago already.

Nathan tells Stephanie that they need to have a serious talk. NOW?! After he decides to move in with her NOW he wants a serious talk. Why can't people just have sex and fun anymore? Why does it have to be serious? If this bitch gets pregnant too, I will hunt down the Days writers.

Bo asks Hope: Where is Hope, and what have you done with her? Okay great question and my answer is......the Morgue.

As the Whore Falls Down the Stairs

Hope pretty much scares the shit out of everyone....pardon my French. It's true though. She runs into Carly and they have a disturbing conversation, where Crystal Chappell actually looked freaked out by Kristian Alfonso. Hope calls Carly her hero, she is everything she wants to be. She wants to fly higher than an eagle, because Carly is the wind beneath her wings. She admires her for killing Larry, and I'm just waiting for this version of Hope to ask to borrow Carly's knife. Bo tells Adrienne, and later on Carly after he learns about that story, that he thinks Hope is acting like a different person. So to recap....Bo is clueless, Carly and Adrienne are freaked out, and Hope has still not eaten since 1997. Dick buys Hope her supplies, and when she sees stuff missing she gets upset. She warns Dick to not get in her way...she will kill Bo. Okay we know that won't happen, but can she maybe hit him over the head a few times?

Stefano is napping. Not joking really, but Lexie and Kate rush in thinking he has died...they've apparently never met the guy who doesn't die. Lexie is annoyed her father is toying with his medication, and Stefano is all smiles to just see his daughter. Most people just call or go to visit, not rush to the hospital in an ambulance. Stefano wonders why Kate called Maddie, and he learns that Chad is asking questions. Stefano worries that Madeline won't keep her mouth shut....the irony is she got paid alot to probably keep her mouth open. YEAH I SAID IT! Prostitutes!

EJ is still waiting for this hot guy named Marco to bring Nicole to him. In the meantime he gets a visit from Arianna, and they discuss nothing important until he tells her he's leaving town. She asks questions, but he gets around them. Meanwhile Nicole is with Brady and a booze free Nicole leaves me....annoyed. She kisses him, but Brady pushes her off. HOWEVER, later on Brady fantasizes about a Nicole make out session, and he is shirtless so he can do whatever right now. Arianna is soaking wet and wakes Brady from his dream, but the two still have that same conversation they always have about not being together and wanting the other to be happy. Might be the first time they were both half naked and DID NOT have sex. Nicole is upset at the supply of booze at the DiMera mansion, as am I. She tells EJ she will NOT tell his secret because she wants both he and Sami to suffer. At least she believes in equal opportunity...and this just became even more boring!


Chad confronts Madeline about her past as a WHORE...again Chad..CALL GIRL! HIGH PRICED HOOKER! My favorite part had to be when he asked her if her charged alot...good question! Madeline gives him a hard slap across the face..probably not the first time she has slapped a man...oh yeah. Chad tells her he learned the truth from Will, and she finally admits her sketchy past. However, she also lets it slip her husband does not know the truth and there are SECRETS...uh oh. Someone call Maury because we need a paternity test stat! Chad runs off and Madeline goes after him, but when she grabs him he shakes her off and she does a backflip down the PIER steps. Jessica Tuck was great and I realllllyyyyy wanted her to stay...why she always got to die?! Also, for a place that sees so many deaths, the PIER is a town hotspot...just saying.

Previews: Phillip asks Chloe if Daniel bought their story. Okay these two seriously need to just stop talking. Take a break from each other until it is time to do a paternity test please. Until then keep your mouths shut and stop looking at each other like you've seen each other naked so much!

Bo tells Roman he is worried about Hope and something strange is going on with her. I love the fact it took him so long to even notice, and he had to be told by other people. Also, of all people to go to help with the situation you call ROMAN?! Roman cannot get words out of his mouth let alone give advice about Hope of all people. Also you should have noticed something was wrong with her when she dropped 40 pounds and now weighs a whopping 79 pounds.

Hope tells Dick it's time for Bo to die. For someone who mugged people so quickly she sure is taking her precious time to kill the guy. Just do it! This cray cray Hope thing could have been better if she wasn't so cray cray when she was normal Hope.

Hope Needs to be Taken to General Hospital

Hope...Just when I think this lady could not get any more ridiculous. She gets annoyed Bo and Carly are making out, and then gives Carly a lecture about making out with her husband in public. Bo and her talk and he's wondering if they can work something out....um Bo....you are SLEEPING WITH CARLY! Hope admits it was a mistake to want to get divorced, and the bitch admits she was wrong...THANKS. Carly can "read" Bo's body language that something is wrong. She is a genius. Bo can tell there is something messed up with Hope, and Carly agrees. Bo doesn't know who Hope is anymore...she's a woman who wears butt ugly pajamas that's what. She's popping pills like candy...those better be weight inducing. Adrienne tells Bo that Hope is INSANE too with her recent lies about kissing Justin. Hope runs into Carly and is like HEYYYYY HOW ARE YOU?! Carly not only looks confused, she looks like the bumpit scares her.

Chad asks Kate about his mom's past. Really hoping Kate doesn't get cougarish with Chad, I just don't think I can handle that. Kate is shocked and calls Maddie to warn her about Chad asking questions. Maddie tells Chad about how the nominating process is going to take its toll on the family. She tells him he has to learn how to be discreet. Chad realizes that Kate called Maddie to warn her. Okay Chad is really smart..what the hell is he doing in Salem? Kate interrogates Charlie from Empty Nest and realizes he is NOT the one who told Chad. Chad can tell when his mother is lying, and he calls her a WHORE! Maddie is probably going to smack him because they are called WORKING GIRLS Chad!

Sami doesn't want to hear what Nicole has to say, not a huge surprise. She wants to hear the truth from EJ...well Sami we don't always get what we want. So Sami gives him the opportunity to tell the truth and EJ doesn't take it. Instead he plans a family vacation, and Sami remind him that the kids she has are walking disasters who cannot travel. She refuses to go away with EJ, but still takes the time to flirt with the dude. EJ is turned on and calls Marco to bring Nicole over.

Victor is on a roll in the advice department. He tells Brady he supports him, but is glad he broke up with Adrienne. Victor only buys his drugs from high class dealers, and he has no need for muggers in the home. Later on, Victor is drinking Martinis....Nicole was a good influence on him. He tells Justin to stay away from her again. Justin is worried about her, but Victor thinks Bo is just a superjerk. He says Hope is fine, and Justin should just back off. Okay he is half right. One big question: WHERE IS MAGGIE?!

Nicole goes to Brady for help and she tells him the TRUTH. WHAT SHOW IS THIS?! Got ya! Just a dream....CRAP! I was hoping Brady would kill EJ and they'd both end up shirtless somehow. Nicole just fantasizes about telling the truth. Although it's very funny how much smarter Brady is in Nicole's dream. He really put everything together quickly....in a DREAM. Nicole decides not to tell him the truth because she's afraid he will realize that she framed Arianna. Brady is not this smart, and I think the alcohol is finally effecting her brain. Brady thinks he can trust Nicole...wow don't do drugs kids.

Previews: Kate sees Stefano in a hospital bed and asks Lexie if he is dead. Normally dead people are not propped up like that and looking oh ALIVE. He looks like he is napping. WTF is Kate looking at? Also, IS SHE NEW IN TOWN? Stefano does not die!

Nicole tells Brady that IT was the biggest regret of her life. Her whole life is regrets so she could be talking about anything. My money is on the wig! I mean I can forgive kidnapping a baby yo love, but that wig...GIRLLLLLL you needed help.

Arianna asks EJ if he is in some kind of trouble. So basically everyone is taking stupid pills this episode. And HOW LONG do I have to wait for these two to get together? It's just sex and you have to pay EJ back somehow!

General Hospital Visits

Hi everyone! Sorry I was unable to recap the show today. I unfortunately had to go to the hospital for some tests. Everything is fine and nothing to worry about. Had some routine tests and some family hospital visits to make. I also have some tests tomorrow but am hoping I can watch when I get home to do a recap. Again sorry!

Guiding Daniel..Towards Nudity

Phillip and Chloe come up with some lame excuse that they were hiding from Daniel that he knew about the baby. Daniel gets upset with Chloe for spending so much time with Phillip, and asks her to distance herself from him. Okay NOW he does this? The guy has always been up in her business and now it bugs him. So Daniel dislikes Phillip because he is jealous, and Chloe agrees to stay away from him. She tells him Vivian set her up, but she calms him down and ALMOST tells him the truth. She says she feels like she betrayed him....because you did you moron! They have sex..at least they are both topless. Daniel is going to sing in the shower...why the hell did they not show us that part?? Ratings boost!

Melanie sets up Brady and Arianna to be half naked at the same place at the same time. Okay sorry I think these two are lame now. Go your separate ways for awhile or something because it's become irritating. The only time they are interesting is when they are having sex. They have the same conversation over again about it being over. Arianna...go have sex with EJ...thank you! Brady..thank you for being shirtless for 10 seconds. Please do this more, thanks.

EJ tells Nicole the evidence she has against him won't be admissible in court. Although all she really has to do is get an expert to do a test on it to prove its not doctored. HELLO! She dangles the truth in front of Sami, but of course Sami acts like a rude 5 year old and starts yelling at Nicole for all her lies. EJ just looks crabby the whole time. Nicole calls Arianna to the docks and it seems the whole damn town is there to hear her announcement. Yeah like she's going to announce that EJ is a kidnapper on the news. Righttttt. Next thing you know Chloe will demand a paternity test on air. Yeahhh rightttt.

Melanie tells Phillip about the Vivian encounter and he's angry. He brought her flowers and tells her its their 5 month anniversary. He also admits he let it slip that he knew Chloe is pregnant and Melanie reminds him they should not lie. Awww the poor cheater looks upset. Melanie brings up Vivian because she wants to move out of Maggie's and find a real house, with an extra room. First off I likes how Melanie was like.."let's look for houses" as if she was going to get more than one. Phillip is freaking out she wants a house with a nursery...um you should be more concerned she finds out you might already have a second kid stopping by the house. They agree that kids will be in the future and not now. Well thank God for that because then there would be babies everywhere!!

Previews: EJ holds a microphone saying that Nicole is a pathological liar. Well So are YOU, and half the damn town! You should freak everyone out and say something like she is not a natural blonde.

Adrienne tells Hope that something is definitely not right, and it's her. Well DUH! Hope is insane and I'm glad someone's noticed. Also, liking Justin and kissing him..Not exactly sane behavior.

Justin tells Bo he wants to talk to him about Hope. Really? Can you talk about sports like normal men? This Justin and Hope crap has to go away. Also, why on Earth would the guy who wants to get with a woman talk to her soon to be ex husband. BACK OFF!

One Tape Recorder to Crush

Carly makes a deal with Chloe that she will NOT tell Daniel about her affair if the baby is Daniel's. How is this a good idea? Carly realizes she is screwed as well because Melanie and Daniel will know she has been hiding a big secret from them too. She sees Daniel and he thanks her for being a good friend. She feels guilty and says what she is doing is illegal and unethical...um this is not a medical case you are working on...this is YOUR LIFE. It is not illegal...its just WRONG! Melanie can tell something is wrong but Carly just continues to lie for Chloe. So instead of staying out of the whole thing, Carly insinuated herself further, making her own life more miserable. Good Job Manning!

Phillip finds out Chloe is pregnant from Melanie. He is asking all about Chloe's birth plan and this of course makes Melanie suspicious. I was waiting for him to bring up Lamaze and a hospital emergency kit at this point. He goes to see Chloe and is angry with her for the situation, and not telling him the truth. After he points out how big a moron she is, what to do about Carly, Phillip says he will be there for Chloe if she needs him. He will be a father to the baby, and he considers telling Melanie. Chloe thinks this is insane and that it should be kept quiet, and of course Daniel walks in looking pissed. Daniel don't like Phillip probably because he is Chloe's ex boyfriend, former brother in law, former uncle, and future son-in-law. Yeah that's right folks!

Vivian stops to annoy Daniel at the hospital, and then decides to pay Melanie a visit. Melanie wants her to get the hell out of there after Vivian asks her and Phillip to move back to the mansion. Melanie is less than thrilled and says that Vivian is insane if she thinks that is going to happen. Vivian takes it as a compliment, and then tells her how horrible Carly is. Carly has ruined Lawrence, Bo, and now Melanie's life. Don't forget about Nicky, and Victor, and actually the whole damn town hates her. She warns Melanie that she let her into her life, and that she will regret trusting Carly who will ruin Melanie's life eventually. Yeah we are really headed into that direction aren't we? LORD!

Sami runs into a shirtless Rafe and does her whole heavy breathing routine. Why is Sami always horny? Rafe finds the penguin, which somehow managed to find itself in a random bush. Rafe misses the kids, and they miss him...probably because he paid attention to them. Gaby interrupts the two of them getting nowhere, and she tries to explain to her brother that Sami wants to be with him. Rafe doesn't think anything of it, but probably will when he has this conversation in the near future with half the damn town.

Nicole confronts EJ with the evidence she has on him. EJ does not think she has evidence, but then Nicole whips out her tape recorder. EJ crushes it and stomps on it with his foot and now Nicole has to get a new one at Radio Shack. Poor EJ has pooped his pants like Phillip did when he found out Chloe was pregnant. The guys in nice suits are having a bad day. Nicole points out that she has copies of the tape, along with letters explaining everything. He wants to know her price, and she just wants to make him suffer for what he did to her and Sami. EJ looks like he wants to cry but instead of doing that he decides it would be a better idea to just kill Nicole. GOOD PLAN! Sami walks in on them, and Nicole rushes over for some girl talk.

Previews: Chloe tells Phillip that they need to tell him the truth, as Daniel looks on. Yeah the "truth." I love the "truth," especially when it makes a story even longer to the point that I have gone through significant weight gains or loss. By the time they tell him the "truth" the kid will be 18....by the way where is Chad?

Melanie gets in Brady and Arianna's business and asks them to tell her they don't love each other any more. If I were them I'd grab Melanie and throw her in the ocean and tell her to mind her business. I like Melanie and Brady time, however, don't involve yourself with two morons who only get along when they are having sex.

Nicole tells Sami that EJ is trying to stop her from telling Sami what he did all on his own. Okay, its not like Sami is going to believe anything Nicole says and this will be a big waste of time. Actually it is really just a time to see EJ ruin his pink shirt with pit stains, and set a Guinness World Record for consecutive blinking. EJ and Nicole...Days of Our Rage.

Days of My Busy Life

Okay I'm not doing a recap for today. TOO MUCH to do..soooo little time. Quick things that happened: Nicole tells EJ she knows, Carly will lie for Chloe if Daniel is the father, Kate and Daniel bitch about Chloe, and Phillip finds out Chloe is pregnant.

Best part of today: MAGGIE AND CAROLINE. Maggie needed to cut a bitch. Caroline needs to mind her business, be sedated and thrown in an old folks home. Get on it Roman! Victor tells Caroline to BUTT OUT! Maggie is the HBIC and Caroline needs to fix her dentures. THE END!

And that is your recap for today. Hot Mess Mandy is off to corrupt America. Have a good weekend everyone!

The Boobs and the Beautiful Shirtless Men

Okay Vivian stole the show today. She tells Chloe she is an airhead, wimp, she cannot find her ass with a map, she has big boobs...I think Vivian reads my play by play. Chloe realizes Vivian was behind the whole thing, and it only took about a month for her to get that. Go Chloe! Vivian is mad that Chloe couldn't kill Carly, which is funny because Vivian cannot even kill Carly when she tries. Carly stumbles upon the two women arguing and has it out with Vivian for manipulating Chloe. Then Carly blames herself. Okay, wow Carly Manning blaming Carly Manning again. This story is going in circles. Carly is not only also responsible for the muggings, she was responsible for EJ kidnapping Sydney as well.

Melanie and Carly eat ice cream and also dish about the big boobed wonder Chloe Lane. Carly doesn't tell her daughter anything good, so Melanie thinks they should just forget Chloe and MOVE ON. This is the DAUGHTER giving the MOTHER the good advice. Makes perfect sense. Daniel comes over to see his daughter after a long sex session with Chloe...not gross at all. He discusses children and appears to want to explain to Melanie where baby comes from. Melanie buys a "I'm the Big Sister" t-shirt...maybe she thinks that everyone is as dumb as Chloe and it needed to be explained. She also gets him a baby book, and starts to cry because secretly I believe she wants Daniel to fill a baby book for her.

EJ and Sami are having their picnic, which is sponsored by Chex Mix. She spills stuff on him, and EJ goes SHIRTLESS. THANK YOU...FINALLY! Also, thanks for ruining that pink shirt finally. Sydney kind of sort of checks her dad out and Sami feels judged by Sydney for doing the same. Gabi thanks EJ for defending Arianna, as Sami wonders who wrecked Will's face. Gaby is bonding with the family...ewww and she sings in Spanish...more eww. Will and his mother discuss her love life after EJ leaves to go see Stefano. Yes, Will defended his mother in a fight, only to currently tell her she is a walking disaster...nice Will.

Stefano runs into Theo and Lexie at the PIER and gives Theo a model boat as a gift. Abe and Lexie worry that Stefano is becoming involved in Theo's life. They should not even care because Stefano is fun times, and the kids just love him. He is like an Italian well dressed Santa Claus. Nicole is snooping around the mansion, finds her sonogram and starts to cry. She hides out in the living room, and Stefano and EJ begin discussing Nicole, Arianna, and Samantha. Nicole looks like she needs booze. She starts recording the conversation when Stefano talks business, and the two men reveal that EJ was behind the kidnapping all along. Nicole now officially has EJ's balls in a vice. That was easy.

Previews: Stephanie says she knows Phillip and knows he is hiding something. Phillip is really surrounded by Terrible women. His one night stand won't shut up. His wife is overly excited and always asking questions. His ex-fiance is a nosy bitch who is failing at being a bitch. Maybe I am biased....because Phillip is hot...but Poor Phillip.

Chloe tells Carly that she thinks she was really trying to destroy her. Yes she is Chloe. Carly is looking for where to let the air out of your body. These two becoming friends may make me ill.

Nicole tells EJ that she did what she had to do to protect herself and look where they are. Um, they are in the SAME exact position they were months ago really. I hope Sydney grows up and smacks all these people around. Now Nicole is going to blackmail EJ and we will be tortured for God knows how long. At least she is not wearing a wig.

As the Boy Fight Turns Hotter

Caroline lectures Sami about the EJ situation. Seriously Caroline needs to get her dentures in check and get out of people's business. She is no Marlena so just go make your fried chicken and spoil your grandkids. Sami talks to Nicole who wants information out of her, but Sami doesn't give her anything and is really annoyed by their conversation..Like I WAS! Sami and EJ have their usual chat about being more than friends and then go on a picnic. EJ is charming in his pink shirt...why haven't they got back together yet?

Will and Chad get into a fight......kinda really hot actually. They were wrestling a bit and it got sexy. Some random cop pulls them apart, and Will apologizes that Chad's mom is a whore. Chad wants to know what the hell is going on so he goes to Maddie and doesn't find out much. She says she "worked" her way through school. Well okay technically she DID NOT LIE...she did WORK the streets people. Chad looks terrified to ever visit a hooker again in his life because he might run into his mother.

Nicole has a martini...thankfully. She spends the whole episode trying to figure out what EJ has on her. After the run in with Sami that got her nowhere, Stefano pays Nicole a visit. Amazingly enough Stefano just prior to this had been talking to EJ about the damn Sami situation and how stupid it is. Stefano used his lightning speed to zoom to the Brady pub in the next scene. Stefano tells Nicole she can either get out of town or go to jail, pretending that EJ does have information on her. After realizing she is being followed Nicole fakes getting attacked by EJ's goon, in the most hysterical way ever. She rips her shirt off and starts screaming like a banshee. Then she breaks into the DiMera mansion to find what EJ has on her. How the hell is it so easy to break into that place?

Justin hears little creepy Ciara's story about finding the wallets. He goes to confront Hope who is in her new black getup and when she hears that the little freak pins the whole thing on her, she makes out with Justin in order to get his attention off matters. EWWWWWWWWW. Adrienne catches Hope and Justin embracing post kiss, and even that is gross to watch. Hope sneaks out as Adrienne and Justin do paperwork, and meets up with Dick. She gives him a shopping list, and he realizes that something bad is going to happen to Bo. OR...and this is my theory....she wrote down Hot Pockets and he is shocked she eats....just a guess.

Previews: Melanie asks Carly if there a problem and Carly says yeah. They should just carry we hate Chloe signs and get on with this. All they talk about is CHLOE and DANIEL. When are these two going to bond over something mother-daughterish? The only thing they ever discuss is how Chloe sucks as a human, and while its great they moved on from Carly sucking as a human...TALK ABOUT YOUR FAMILY!

Chloe screams at Vivian that she ruined her life. Did she force you to sleep with Phillip? Yeah NOOOOOO. She just made you think your fiancee was cheating on you, and the fact you fell for it so fast...YOU ARE A MORON. Just take the blame, fess up, and have other men's babies like Sami.

Sami asks EJ if he's sure he has to go. Okay why is he not wearing the pink shirt? Did he change on the way to the park, and if he did..WHY DID WE NOT SEE THE SHIRT OFF? These are pressing questions.

The Old Whores and Their Restless Children..and Grandchildren

Will overhears Kate and Maddie's WHORE conversation. The two women agree to secrecy but Stefano rolls up all Dapper Donish and wants to know what's going on. He thinks its cute the whores are so protective of each other. Whores got to stick together. Will overhears Chad hitting on Gaby...still have NO IDEA why he is doing this. Chad and Will start fighting, and Chad hits a nerve when he brings up Sami's multiple pregnancies with different men. Will takes this time to inform Chad that his mother is a...say it with me folks...WHORE. I prefer PROSTITUTES/HOOKERS because that makes it clear they get paid. Kate comments how much she enjoys that Stefano and Will are bonding, and how Will will intern for him. This is allllllll soooooo obviously pointing in a certain direction. It ends with I TOLD YA SO!

So its the morning and Vivian is drinking already. Thank goodness. Meanwhile Victor is getting his groove on over at Maggie's. He is hitting on her, but she seems to be unconsciously playing hard to get. Vivian crashes the party and ruins the silly banter, but then engages in a snippy conversation with Maggie. Maggie makes "Betty Crocker look like Lady Gaga." And its lines like these that make me love Vivian more. Vivian leaves pissed, and runs into Jennifer. She somehow thinks its a smart move to bring up Lawrence's death, and Jen FREAKS on her. Vivian thinks Jen should clearly get over that little rape incident already. Jen tells Vivian to go to hell and then leaves Salem. WHY CAN'T YOU STAY??!!

Nicole wants Dick and his partner to target EJ again. Yes Baker isn't a moron and says no way. Nicole tries to bribe him but it is clear Dick has a thing for Hope and will not help Nicole or tell her who his partner is. She realizes she is getting nowhere with Dick and says goodbye...to Dick. If they never see each other again I'm going to miss all the Dick and Nic jokes.

Bo is coloring with Ciara, and the detective cannot find her crayon. Hope comes over and if it's at all possible she has gotten thinner. WTF. The two of them discuss the mugging case, and Hope is actually dumb enough to believe that Arianna really is the mugger. Bo thinks the whole thing is strange, and has to listen to Hope talk about hating men. Meanwhile Jen and Carly are having a goodbye chat, that is actually about nothing for a while. Until finally Jen brings up that Carly is just going to get hurt because Bo and Hope are stupid for each other. Carly says she knows...oh well okay then. Side Note: Carly Manning is now dressing like she is going on safari. The woman gets screwed every which way apparently

Hope tells Bo she wants to move ahead with the divorce. Carly comes over and interrupts them thank GOD. Carly apologizes for absolutely nothing, because we all know everything is her fault. Bo blames himself...and that only took about eight months thanks. Carly thinks Bo does not want to get divorced, and he does not want to discuss Hope with her anymore. Its very romantic that they are drinking beers by the way. So Sexy! Then after months of never getting around to it, Carly decides it is time to get into detail about cray cray Hope experience. Bo agrees that Hope is a big weirdo. Meanwhile, Justin and Ciara decide its time to color, while Hope gets some much needed sleep....try gaining 30 pounds and you won't be so tired. The little creeper tells Justin that her mommy has his wallet. Upstairs, Hope becomes cray cray Hope once again after taking the sleeping pills...Bring on the Bumpit!

Previews: Caroline asks Sami how deeply she is getting into this with EJ? Well not deep enough apparently because the hot dude still has his shirt on. Can we stop with this Caroline business by the way, the lady is rude.

EJ tells Stefano that she's not going to find out what he did. True, Nicole finds out. This storyline is so dragged out that I don't even care if Sami EVER finds out because this has been ridiculous.

Hope is on the phone, and says She's Backkkkkkk! Personally I am horrified. Cray Cray Hope is way way BORING! This could have been SUCH a better storyline.

All My Shirtless Hot Teenagers

Kate tells Madeline she won't tell Stefano anything and they discuss their pasts. It was very kinky actually, and I'm not sure that was what they were going for but WEIRD sexual tension. Kate went from being annoyed at Maddie to being "very fond" of her. WHAT THE HELL?! Kate recruited Madeline into being a WHORE..(I TOLD YA'LL SO) and Maddie's all like YAY that was fun times! Luckily Will is in the hallway and hears everything. Think of all the Whore Stories now.

Speaking of Will.....HOT DAMN. And by "hot damn" I am referring to his body and not the orange glow he bathed in. Chad is also half-naked. BEST PART OF THE SHOW! However, I did not need to see Kinsey in a bikini. I don't even like her in regular clothing. Selena Gomez now has a crush on Will or is using him to make Chad jealous and its working. Great a Chad/Will/Gaby love triangle....can Chad and Will be gay because there is NO WAY they can be interested in Gaby! Team CHILL!

Arianna gets bailed out of prison by EJ. Her and Brady break up all over again and he warns her that EJ is Satan. No Satan is Ciara, EJ is just a jackass sometimes. Arianna wants to thank EJ for all he has done...aka LET'S HAVE SEX SOON! Brady is still trying to find stuff out about the muggings but this is Brady...don't expect a miracle. He then defends Nicole to Rafe...smart move there buddy. He should really write a book about "How Not to Act.."

Shane and Kimberly get back together. Yeah that is all I really got on that one. Maybe Kim will come back with a newer face next time and Shane will bring "the Nanny" on board. Glad they are reunited but it was just weird how they did that all. Rafe and Shane have another MOMENT. Rafe decides he wants to stay in Salem and asks the FBI for time there. Anyone who WANTS to live and stay in Salem...Got Problems!

EJ threatens to expose Nicole for being the mugger...I just want EJ to expose himself please. Rafe bugs Nicole the ENTIRE episode and poor Nicole cannot get away with being a liar because she has two hot men annoying her and neither want to sleep with her. THAT's RUDE! Nicole wants Brady to move on from Arianna, but again...NO LUCK there.

Previews: Hope and Bo discuss the case....that he took her off of. These two really know how to annoy the crap out of me. Get your shit together. They cannot even separate correctly or get back together correctly. Make up yo minds!!

Jennifer wants to talk to Carly about Bo and Hope, and Carly looks LESS than thrilled with the subject matter. Bitch can't catch a break either. Why doesn't Jennifer just ask Carly to talk about Lawrence the RAPIST while we are at it? Or better yet...bring up where Nicky might be thanks!

Nicole tells Baker that she will stop him (EJ) for good. Well according to my Soap Opera Digest over here, she does find out about the kidnapping. I enjoy watching EJ get his balls caught in a vice, but can the guy just be shirtless when he gets caught dammit?!