Days of My Hapka

Mark Hapka does not have his shirt on. I will cherish this moment---DAMMIT Stephanie! Okay they don't cover up Shelly's tattoo on her tummy! Also, they are very wet...um yeah. He gives her a present, and she's like what's this....okay just open the damn thing and stop acting surprised. Nathan has been reading a chicks manual....I'm so proud. He got her a bracelet and they are having sex on the beach...the actual act not the drink...until Melanie cock blocks them. Melanie thinks they should get a room, Nathan tells her to back off, and that wasn't awkward at all. Nathan and Stephanie are still wet...Nathan asks Steph if he can move in with her. WOW way to take things slow. He's love to live with her and Steph says YES! Like there was any doubt.

Stefano is getting snooty with Kate because of the Madeline situation. Meanwhile Madeline redoes her backflip and Chad looks in horror as his mother moans to death. She says that she lied for him...uh huh! He's holding her body awkwardly and the whore is going to die, sorry. Maddie is at the hospital and Kate and Stefano find Chad semi-crying?! I can't tell..its just sad. Kate comforts Chad, and his father arrives and he explains how Maddie fell. Chad has a flashback to the Prostitute conversation. Lexie tells Chad and his father that Madeline has died. Kate and Stefano are at a loss, and Chad takes it bad.

Bo asks Roman about Hope....really? Never go to Roman for help! The man is useless and all he does is mumble. Roman advises Bo to ease up on Hope...and this is why you never ask for family's help. He dumb! Bo says he won't turn his back on Hope....like he did months ago?! Bo goes to see Hope and there is the little creeper!! The little devil explains how she saw Hope hugging some man. Mommy is a tart! Henderson tells Bo that Hope is not in the house.

Hope talks about killing Bo, and Dick tells Hope he's in love with her. Okay ewww she seems flattered, and emotional. He asks her not to kill Bo...Go Dick! Dick plots to mug Bo and take all his money...isn't he poor? Dick wants to go to Venice...Okay not making that joke. Hope thinks this is all nice, and Dick doesn't lie. Hope wants to count on him, so she tells him to go get her supplies. After he leaves Hope says no one is talking her out of killing Bo....wait not even Dick?! Hope breaks into....her own home actually. Apparently Bo is the Devil...no its still Ciara. Hope describes hell on earth...it must be part of her diet plan. Hope has OJ gloves on and then runs into BO!

Melanie plans a baby shower for Chloe...PARTY!! Phillip thinks this is a BAD idea. He goes to visit Chloe where they have their daily paranoia session. He learns about Vivian's role in everything and wants to kill her. Chloe takes her smart pill and says bad idea because then Vivian will know everything. She then tells him that Father Matt knows all. Why not just kick the guy in the balls?! Phillip thinks Chloe is officially the dumbest person on the planet. Phillip thinks they should stay calm..I say PANIC! Melanie and Phillip make out after her run in with the half naked couple at the beach. Mel and Phil have sex and she brings up babies again. Well that just killed the mood. They aren't ready for kids...then WHY does she keep bringing it up?!

Chloe and Daniel talk about baby names and Victor. Okay the name Ichabod? NO! Ichabod Lane Jonas...just NO! Daniel meets up with Father Matt because when it's your day off of work what else would you do then meet up with a priest?? Father Matt tells Daniel there was no problem with the annulment. DUN DUN DUNNNN! Daniel is confused and the Padre suggests he ask Chloe what's going on. Not even Marvin Gaye would tackle this issue! Daniel confronts Chloe about the Father Matt crap. Chloe didn't make any sense with her explanation and Daniel is like WTF is going on! Chloe says she changed her mind and wants a civil ceremony...Daniel don't believe her.

Previews: Daniel tells Chloe he needs to know what is going on with her. They literally have this conversation every week. IF not for the baby I would have told him to break up with the girl two weeks ago already.

Nathan tells Stephanie that they need to have a serious talk. NOW?! After he decides to move in with her NOW he wants a serious talk. Why can't people just have sex and fun anymore? Why does it have to be serious? If this bitch gets pregnant too, I will hunt down the Days writers.

Bo asks Hope: Where is Hope, and what have you done with her? Okay great question and my answer is......the Morgue.