Sunday, April 4, 2010

Guiding Time....1:57 Please for big reveal!

Anna is still orgasming during her massage and they are replaying the Stefano reveal. Stefano does not have delicate hands, you would have thought she would have noticed as soon as he touched her. His hands look like they are rough. Eww. Anyways he threatens Anna and she in big trouble.

Carly goes into Daniel's room to find him getting dressed. All that hair on one body should be a crime. Carly should demand he stay and get laser hair removal on at least half of his body. Carly says he is going against doctor's orders....that means not hers because she does not really work there. He says he is fine and owes it all to Carly....did Carly Manning come up with a cure for Double Vision and we were not told? That's giving her lot more credit than she really deserves. Why does he like her now?

Chloe is on the phone with her "dad"....he was kinda a hottie, come back please. Her and Nicole finally are reunited and it feels so good. Seriously love lift them up where they belong. It takes Chloe some time but she notices that Nicole has bruises. Chloe wonders if it was a good idea for Nicole to come back to Salem...that's SO what your best friend really wants to hear Chloe..way to go! Nicole says she can handle things....making Salem sound like its just a bad case of gas.

Melanie is on the phone with Phil and he apparently is off working somewhere. Brady comes on over and OMG ITS other words Melanie is way too excited to see him. She wonders why he is not on his honeymoon and even has time to make an "I was shot" joke to boot. She constantly reminds us she was shot..WE KNOW! She notices he is not wearing a wedding ring.....someone ate her Wheaties this morning.

Oh its a Rafe/Arianna, we are not Luis/Theresa moment yet again. Arianna, ever the nosy sister, asks about him and Sami. Perhaps she feels like being as depressed as the rest of us. Rafe thinks that he and Sami are over....well when you break up with someone that is usually what it means. Especially when YOU ARE THE ONE WHO BROKE UP WITH THEM!

EJ arrives over Sami's place and see she looks a mess. Well Thanks for the shout out EJ, but never compare me to Sami again! Although yes she is a mess, its true. EJ wants details of the fight between her and Nicole...did that gross anyone else out? He then asks about Rafe. Wow EJ is on a role, and he is playing the role of Maggie today. He is surprised to learn from Sami that her and Rafe are over. Not as surprised though as Sami is going to be when she learns it was EJ who planned this whole shitty storyline.

Anna is surprised to see Stefano. He lets her know that everyone is talking about her. Well those boots were ugly and yeah fashion is a hot topic in Salem. He says its unfortunate that he is the one to find her. This is code for....Anna is a dead bitch.

Chloe notices that people are staring at her and Nicole....yeah they are wondering why you are so tan when its only April. Then they talk about Anna, which is shocking because it means that Chloe might actually read a, wait she could have watched tv, nevermind. Nicole thinks they will never hear from Anna again...which means that guess what?....we will hear from Anna a whole lot more than planned.

Anna says it was impossible for anyone to find her....well clearly that is not the case woman! Stefano reminds her that he is STEFANO! Apparently she sniffed some glue and forgot who she was dealing with. She screams for help....oh that silly woman, and here comes the goon of the day! Stefano announces that this is the end.....though that is a nice idea, we all know we are not even CLOSE to an end at all.

Oh God now EJ is consoling Sami. Can this get any worse....yes it could be a Nathan scene! Sami explains that Rafe cannot get over her lies and she can't get past the fact he can't get past that. OMG that was actually what was said. EJ thinks Rafe is an idiot...well thanks for that so do we. Sami then wants to know what EJ has done with the real EJ DiMera. He is being a fake asshole, that is what he is doing. A smarter person would realize that.....but unfortunately the show lacks the smart people.

Rafe and Arianna are still talking and it's still a mystery as to why! Arianna is excited that Rafe likes's kind of obvious Rafe likes Brady because he makes him feel smarter, which is really hard to do. Speaking of brains, Rafe apparently loses all the brains he must have when he brings up Nicole. Ironically, Nicole is a much more interesting topic than anything else they have to talk about.

Nicole explains to Chloe that her face was rearranged by Sami. Then she tells her the Sydney story, the one that made even me cry. Sydney is not her baby and Nicole realizes that. Chloe is glad that Nicole finally realizes that, but wonders why she would come back to Salem them. Wow that Chloe is one rude moron. She wants Brady, your favorite ex husband!

Brady explains that he and Arianna are still getting married. He suggests Vegas, but is Melanie old enough to even gamble? Melanie says she has to talk to her dad, who has a horrible case of Double Vision. Okay I know Double Vision is a serious problem, but couldn't this problem be a little more life threatening? It's Double Vision! She really wants Daniel in her life. Brady asks about Carly...HIS GODMOTHER!!! Are they ever going to bring that up ever??? Melanie high pitch squeals and then says she is starting to think Carly is not that bad....Let's give this moment about a one hour. So NOT
going to last whatsoever and a freak out will commence somehow.

Daniel talks about the double vision and Melanie and that subject alone makes him nauseous and seeing double again. Beginning to think that Daniel is allergic to Melanie and the thought of her alone makes him see double. And Carly also notices that the problem is back...maybe Melanie shared her Wheaties with her mommy.

Stefano wants answers from Anna, who says she just got Nicole a pardon because she felt bad. Wow if she gets Nicole a pardon for feeling bad, can she get me something? Stefano wants THE TRUTH!!! Clearly he is unaware the truth does not come out until about 1:57!

Melanie asks Brady about Arianna and Nicole. Another one who has been hanging too long with Maggie. Brady wants to get the hell out of there and who can blame the poor guy. She knows that Nicole is back, and he says that he will take care of Nicole. That usually means that he will fall in love with her all over again and they will do the nasty.

Chloe wants answers from Nicole, but she is not giving up anything. Nicole changes the subject to Chloe's favorite topic which is her own life. Chloe tells her all about Daniel and his problem....the double vision, not Melanie. Nicole then brings up Carly and here comes the Carly bashing for the day. Chloe is not very fond of Carly's influence in Daniel's life. Flesh eating bacteria is brought up...Ewww. Nicole and Chloe get all girl talk sassy, and remind each other that the other cannot let another woman get in the way of their relationships. Can they just team up and lock Carly and Arianna in a padded cell together?

Rafe and Arianna are STILL talking. UGHHHHH. He tells her about Benny and finding Anna, but blarg! no one cares. Sami asks EJ's opinion on why he thinks Rafe will forgive her....because he is an idiot who clearly loves you. EJ explains that if he forgives her than that means Rafe will too. Sami is just as confused as us and is surprised that EJ has forgiven her. EJ says he will tell her why, and of course you just know he is going to tell the truth!! Um, NO! Beginning to think that Sami is fabulous in bed because it is a little unclear why all these men are in love with her.

Stefano better have taking his medication because he is angry and he does not need a heart attack right now. He brings up the putting of the baby's clothes in the river and making everyone think she was dead. Probably a good time to explain that was all EJ's doing!!! Anna fights back and OUCH! Stefano hits her and that was not nice!

Carly wants Daniel to see a specialist, which means a doctor that is not her. Daniel wants to get back to work, and apparently be sued by all his future patients with the double eye thing. Carly does not like being shut out...but it was okay when the rest of the town was doing it?? Daniel is glad he does not see two Carly's...well that is better than two Melanie's or two Chloe's any day! Carly is surprised that Daniel does not hate her, and he says that as mad as she makes him he could never hate her. So happy that CHLOE HEARD ALL OF THAT! Also, if Carly and Daniel eventually do have sex...can the show get him waxed because the thought of that is still frightening me?

Brady goes to the Kiriakis mansion where someone is waiting for him. IT'S NICOLE!!! She has something to say....yes, that is usually why you visit someone. Thanks for letting us know though.

EJ explains that she knows what he did to her, and he knows why she did what she did to him. There had to be a better way to really explain things than that! Lovely how rape is described as, "what he did" to her. She wonders if Rafe will ever get to that confusing, fucked up state of mind EJ just described, and he does not know. Meanwhile Rafe goes to question Benny and Abe lets him know that his lawyer got him out. Wait, you mean someone got let out of jail in Salem??? NO WAY!

Anna reminds Stefano about trying to pass the baby off as Nicole's kid. Then she adds that EJ and Sami will never let him near the baby. Has she never dealt with Stefano before?? Beg for your life woman!! She slips and says WE. Stefano is now wondering who WE is. Anna should say she has multiple personality disorder to change the subject.

Nicole is there to see Brady because she wants a job at Titan. Do they have an ex con program where they hire former convicts? Brady is not really to happy with the idea because they have enough cons working there. She then says she would like a reason to wake up in the morning. ????? Um, Honey that is not Brady...that is a champagne breakfast!

EJ thinks he and Sami are one in the same. Well she is not British, not in the mob, does not blink alot, and she does not wear suits. This is not a good comparison dude! Rafe is basically a good guy, and Sami sucks at life based on her description of the situation. No matter what though he will catch the bad guys!! Abe basically explains to Rafe that the whole case is over and they be screwed because Anna covered her ass.

Stefano wants the truth as to who worked with Anna. She admits that she didn't do anything alone. She explains that she took Sydney and kidnapped her, but she did a damn awesome job!!! In fact, Sydney came back walking, talking, and speaking Italian. Anna says she got her money and liked putting Stefano through hell. Stefano is not letting it go, and Anna wants to know what is going to happen. Stefano is even confused as to how she does not understand she is going to die a little. Guessing Anna never sat through the Godfather movies!

Chloe is like HI I'M HERE TOO!! She asks Daniel if he is "ready to roll" and he tells her about the double vision again. Chloe wants the truth from Carly as to how Daniel is really doing. Carly explains that the double vision could ruin his career as a doctor but it has brought them and Melanie closer. How is that a positive? Also, just a heads up...Chloe is still an annoying bitch!

Brady tells Nicole he is marrying Arianna. He thinks this time a woman with a vowel starting name is the way to go! Nicole calls him out on still loving her. Brady does not think he is lying to himself. Nicole says that Brady has a choice to make..and it's the choice of a new generation. Thinking Brady should pick Nicole because her prison time made her more interesting, whereas Arianna got softer after prison.

Anna is evidently going to die soon, and she finally decides that Hey I should talk!! She is getting hauled off like a piece of luggage and Anna tells Stefano she has something to tell him but he has to promise not to kill her. She can get him Sydney....does she mean the town or the baby because that was a little confusing. Why is it taking so long to throw that douche EJ under the bus??!! 1:57 DAMMIT!

Brady has had it with Nicole and gets a call so he leaves. Nicole hears that Arianna is on her way over so she sticks around. This scene was pointless but the best part is that Nicole be mixing drinks like a champ!! When things are tough there is nothing like some hard alcohol to make you feel better.

Melanie and Chloe see each other at the hospital. Chloe lets her know in her dumbass way that Daniel is having double vision again. Daniel needs to put himself first and Melanie starts blaming herself again. Chloe kind of agrees its her fault because well she a BITCH! Chloe is just upset and twists Carly's words to make her sound bad. Yeah, BITCH! Daniel thinks the fall is a "silver lining" in bringing him, Carly and Mel closer. Carly, who just has a knack for walking in on these moments looking all chipper, is there just in time to witness Melanie's newest tantrum! She says, "WHAT'S WITH YOU?"......Carly 2.0 is a walking disaster!

The D.A or CHAD's DAD as I like to call him gets accosted by Rafe. The guy from Empty Nest is kind of a jackass. Rafe goes to punch him and Abe stops him. Liked it better when Abe was not around!! Way to go Abe, it was getting good!

EJ thinks Anna won't be found, but that does not matter because all that matters is Sydney is back! He wants to live in the present with Sami. EWWWWWWW! Dear Sami, buy a clue! Love Hot Mess. xoxo. Meanwhile, Anna says she will tell Stefano everything. Well, then just tell him please. Damn you 1:57...I put a curse on that time of day!!

Nicole and Arianna see each other at the mansion. Thanks for that huge waste of time Days, we appreciate it as always. At least Nicole had booze in hand.

Carly is confused because she thought her and Melanie were getting along. HAHA Silly Carly Manning, people still hate you!! Melanie brings up what Chloe said, and Carly realizes that Chloe said something completely dumb. Well it was not that hard to guess. Melanie's hissy fit is in rare form and she defends Chloe. Why doesn't she just start calling Chloe "mommy" and really stick it to Carly? Daniel walks up wondering if something is wrong. Apparently hitting his head turned him into Brady. Chloe says that her and Melanie will take care of Daniel. Someone take a steel bat to Chloe's head or face.

Chad's dad yells at Rafe that he will talk to Rafe's boss if he is not careful. Jokes on the DA, because Rafe's boss already knew he was an idiot meat head. Rafe wants to know who paid off the D.A. and they will pay!! The payer offer.... EJ DUH!!....wants to focus on the good things. Seriously I'm going to be sick. EJ is being all Hallmark cliche saying they should celebrate with their children. What a sanctimonious bastard!

Stefano gives Anna his word and wonders what she has to say that is so good that he will not kill her. Anna says she did not plan the kidnapping and was working with someone else. Yeah the WE kind of gave that away...get to the good part!!! Stefano wants to know who and OMG ANNA SAYS IT WAS EJ DIMERA. HALLELUJAH!! SWEET JESUS PRAISE THE LORD!!

Previews: Will yells at Sami that EJ is just using her. OMG Even the dumb kid figured it out. Well, that just makes Sami an even bigger idiot when her dumb son is smarter than her. Perhaps hanging out with Stefano has had a positive impact on Will. Hopefully he starts smoking cigars and talking Italian with Sydney.

Kate wants to speak to EJ. No clue what this is about but it's probably a huge monumental waste of everyone's time. Maybe she wants to try out an experimental hair dye on him before she goes from blue hair to green.

Stefano tells Anna that she just ended up hurting herself. WHAT??!! Please tell me he is just giving her a lecture and that he at least believes her that EJ was behind the whole thing. Unless this is another one of those 1:57 moments where he ends up believing her at that time! DAMN YOU 1:57!

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