Thursday, April 1, 2010

Days of Our Puking Pill Poppers

Vivian and Carly kick off this shindig! Who wants to see Carly kick Vivian and vice versa? Also, I am a fan of biting...start chomping away. Same fight, same material, and these actresses can be put to better use! Bad DAYS bad!

Adrienne has to sit through Stephanie talking...God help her. And the subject is Nathan...stab her, because it will hurt less! Stephanie did something she is not proud of...yeah she likes Nathan, that is nothing to be proud of. You are correct!

Speaking of the boy with mop hair...Nathan and Melanie are at the....PIER! Someone inherited a liking for PIERS from their mother! Melanie tells him all about Daniel and someone needs a bear hug! Phillip shows up and Melanie then remembers that she married HIM, not the one she be hugging. Maybe they should where t-shirts that make that more clear for her.

EJ meets up with a dude named Benny. Benny ain't the best looking fellow, and looks like he might be on a future Dateline episode. Benny was the guy helping Anna hide Sydney, but sorry he was not memorable to me.....and his face explains why. YEESH. This is all because Nicole came back...hope she figures it out and busts your ass!

Nicole is still being questioned by Rafe. She says that Anna and her were this a big lesbian reveal??

EJ worries about everything coming back to bite him in the ass. Personally I would be willing to bite him in the ass...perhaps that is just me. EJ pulls that "I might be reaching for my gun move" and poor Benny is soiling himself because he thinks the same thing.

Nicole and Anna were not lesbians dammit...they just suffered most lesbians do on soap operas actually. The DiMeras are so horrible that Nicole and Anna bonded. Nicole is happy that Rafe is finally getting it, but he can see through her lies and threatens to handcuff her to the table if she doesn't tell the truth. The joke is on Rafe because Nicole enjoys handcuffs!

Carly and Vivian are bickering and they need a Nicole vs Sami style fight. Carly claims she is working...hahaha oh silly Carly! Vivian blames Carly for the Daniel falling on the ice thing, thus ruining his career as a surgeon who likes to touch the females. Justin comes up and tells Vivian to go away. Actually we'd rather see you go away Justin.

Phillip tells Nathan to beat it as he is holding Melanie. Nathan is going to go check on his personal hero Daniel, who needs to teach Nathan how to be cool, but thinking that is never going to happen. Melanie asks Phillip if he is jealous. There was really no reason to ask that and now she made the man suspicious. Stephanie explains the whole letter crap to Adrienne...thankfully she is as annoyed by the story as the rest of us and is about to tell Stephanie she is a moron.

EJ PULLS OUT............Money. Ugh was hoping for something else. He tells Benny not to ever come back to Salem. Well DUH of course he is when he blackmails you later on!! Benny then leaves and why didn't EJ pay him back when Anna was leaving town?

Rafe is now annoying Nicole...and the audience with his repetitive questions. He basically has the whole thing figured out but wants Nicole to admit it. Nicole says Rafe is normally a smart they ever show those days on this show?? Perhaps we missed that SMART episode she is referring to. She says he is wrong about everything....which sucks because he is right and this is going to just set him back further because he is stupid....its a paradox.

Adrienne thinks that Stephanie should have given the kid who should be dead the letter. If Stephanie does not give up this letter shit...let's all send the show Chain Letters and see how they like it?

Nathan is wandering around mopey about Melanie...when a bus comes along and hits him. Okay, not really but a girl can dream! Melanie says Phil has no reason to be jealous, but changes the subject to Daniel and his double vision. She ran into Nathan when she was sad but when she is with Phillip she is super glad. LETS MAKE OUT BECAUSE I'M DEPRESSED!

Rafe says Nicole and Anna hated each other, but Nicole says they had a connection. Ten bucks says its bad fashion sense. Rafe thinks Anna got Nicole a pardon to protect her secret, but now that it is out Nicole should just reveal Anna's location. Well Nicole actually does not know where she is so WOW she cannot lie this time. Send Rafe to Africa on a jungle safari to find Anna.

Justin tells Vivian that there is a restraining order against her, but apparently there really isn't one anymore. Wow that was fast...who was her lawyer, He's hired?! Carly is actually talking to herself and she gone cuckoo. Vivian says she is putting down roots.....Most of the roots on this show are pretty obvious..AHEM hair department.

Nicole does not care about Anna, or Sydney even being her kid anymore. She then insults Rafe a bunch of times by sticking it to him that he really accomplished NOTHING these past few months. Rafe is not useful to Sami anymore....kind of like her kids. I enjoyed that ripping into Rafe, BRAVO Nicole! Rafe wants to know why she came back when everyone hates her. Just to clarify he asked NICOLE that not CARLY. Nicole came back for what is hers..and then tells Rafe to say hello to Ari. *whispers* I think she is talking about's kind of tough to figure out though!

EJ goes to the Pub..not the PIER....and calls Benny who is at the airport. EJ might have OCD with the amount he checks up on people. EJ does some threatening and Benny says goodbye. So glad we got that special waste of time of getting a glimpse into the life of Benny! Thank you Days!

Rafe looks at pictures of Anna and Nicole, because that always helps in an investigation. He looks at photos of Anna shopping and notices Benny...because you cannot forget that face. His name is Benny Buttons? oh jeez! Rafe has a lead and it's this sleazeball.....Benny obviously not EJ. Nicole shows up to the pub and visits with EJ. EJ is now constipated and Nicole is enjoying it. She even calls him toots like a champ!

Justin is confused by what Vivian means by roots. Really he is just wondering what the word roots means in general. Vivian announces she is marrying Victor. Justin and Carly are going to barf everywhere. Justin is confused wondering why and Carly is like HELLO ME! Poor Carly is to blame for everything. Rumor has it she caused that hurricane with her tears.

Phillip and Melanie are on the bench...the same bench that got knocked over by Nicole and Sami...HEY who fixed my favorite weapon/prop? Melanie actually suggests sexy did we get over our father's hospitalization quickly!! Vivian shows up with EXCITING news for the kids! Hope she got Lady Gaga tickets because those were a bitch to get.

Benny is drinking and now Rafe is with him. How the hell did Rafe manage to find someone? Rafe notices the stack of money that Benny is so intelligently throwing around. Rafe says if he had money he would hire someone to find his that's are supposed to have fun with your money Rafe! His woman has a pretty name and Benny lists some awkwardly not pretty names that you would normally guess first. Why the hell is Benny talking to Rafe, this would NEVER happen. Rafe says Anna..and Benny better be a fast runner, but by his size guessing NO.

Nicole is annoyed EJ is not talking more...tell him to stop blinking while you are at it. EJ wants to know why Nicole is in Salem, and she says it is her home. He notices her bruises and points out she is not well liked. They go back and forth and Nicole even goes over what he has done wrong..that would take longer than an hour. She comments that Anna double crossed EJ...please figure it out Nicole!! Blackmail the son of a bitch.

Phillip is annoyed Vivian called them children. She then suggests she is 40 and hold on I hurt myself laughing. Louise Sorel deserves an EMMY for that delivery alone. She tells them that Victor and her are getting married. Break out some more puke buckets because away we go!

Adrienne warns Stephanie about the whole situation she is in and leaves. Stephanie's problems just got worse because there is Nathan and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Benny tries to leave like any goon would, but Rafe stops him. Rafe introduces himself as FBI..he is such a name dropper. Rafe wants to talk about Anna....the ugly boot wearin' baby sitter/snatcher. Benny does not know anything, but Rafe informs him they have his DNA on a stuffed animal. Kinda creepy he got his DNA on a toy...ewwww bad thoughts. Benny wants to lawyer up, but Rafe wants to offer him a deal in exchange for information on Anna. You are screwed ugly man...just tell them a partial truth so you and EJ can have more scenes together.

EJ does not care about Anna because they were not close....which Nicole knows is a lie. Clearly EJ and Anna played late night sessions of Twister in the mansion. Connect Four on the weekends! She knows why Anna took Sydney, which causes EJ to wants to know from Nicky what she knows and grab her really rudely. Why does Nicole get called Nicky and Sami is always called Samantha? RUDE! Please follow the DiMera tradition of calling everyone by their full names!

Justin is..CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! He says that Victor does not want Bo and Carly together, so marrying Vivian is a threat made in her direction. Wonder if he can read and do math too!! What a catch ladies! Adrienne shows up and OMG does Carly have a friend? Carly says she is "still playing doctor"......Did she just admit she has been faking it and not working??!! Sweet Jesus it's another miracle! Then Adrienne brings up Hope and makes Carly feel like a piece of shit. Well that was fun while it lasted.

Stephanie sees that Nathan is acting like a moron and he admits they cannot go out because of Melanie. Meanwhile Phillip and Melanie are still puking over Victor and Vivian's wedding. Phillip does not believe it is true and OMG Vivian makes a reference to Victor in bed...someone grab a bucket! EWWW! UGH! She asks Melanie what she thinks...someone hold her hair! Upchuck! Phillip and Melanie are holding one another to really just try not to fall over in disgust.

Carly is surprised she is with Bo too, and Adrienne asks how little SeeWhoreA is doing with her daddy being a sex fiend with Carly. Carly apparently forgot SeeWhoreA existed. Adrienne goes on and on about Hope and how she is alive this time....thanks for reminding us. She reminds Carly that she is not Hope and this is the Bo and Hope show. So much for that new friend dammit!

Nathan admits he still has feelings for Melanie. Too bad Phil and Mel are using that puke bucket. Vivian hopes she did not make them all ill, but YA DID VIV! Melanie wants to get the hell out of there but Vivian insists she stay and wants them all to live under the same roof. Well if she is having sex with Victor there is no way in hell anyone would move into that house! She leaves THANK GOD and Phillip comments on her upping her doses for the day. VIV is totally a pill popper. Melanie refuses to move back to the mansion and Phil makes a Mary Poppin Pills joke! They just want to be together and kiss...and now I need some pills after that mushiness.

Rafe wants to make a deal...isn't that show on CBS??Wrong network Rafe! Benny gets hauled away with Rafe trying to intimidate him really badly. Nicole realizes that EJ is more scared that usual. She can read through all that blinking. She asks him what Anna could know that would have him so paranoid? Well way to tell him that you kind of don't know!! She just blew her slight edge!

Previews: Anna says she took a risk but it paid off. Risks on this show never pay off. And people need to learn to hide better dammit.

Nicole tells EJ she wants to figure out why he is scared. Nicole is smart and should figure this out. Hopefully she does not get distracted by that Brady fellow! He dumbs her down and we need her fresh as a daisy.

Sami wants to be with Rafe. Seriously? No comment because this is like deja vu over here.

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