Kate is Not Young and EJ is Very Restless

Apparently EJ has become a man...did Stefano finally get him circumcised? Their fight is over, but Stefano wants something. Hoping the condition is he and EJ go to the ice cream parlor hand in hand while skipping.

Chloe finds Carly sitting on the sofa.....why didn't Carly just put on her PJs and take a nap while eating Chloe's ice cream? Chloe says in her bitch code language that its OKAY for Carly to stay there. Daniel walks in with a box, and Chloe takes it from him and leaves. Dumbest Idea Ever continues for the time being....perhaps the box is for Carly's head.

Phillip finds Adrienne holding Justin who must have gotten cracked in the head with a bat....that is what you get for being boring....is Nathan next? Stephanie learns that Melanie is working at the hospital again. Melanie can tell Stephanie wants to throw up over this idea, and Stephanie adds that she thinks its a REALLY BAD idea. Slap her next time and tell her she is unqualified.

Madeline is proud of Chad, who goes to talk to his dad's doctor. Madeline then decides to have a Kate flashback.....weird! Sami runs into Kate and NO it's not a flashback. Kate wonders if Sami's bruises are from a cat fight...or one of her starving children. Sami cannot understand why Will wants to live with Kate, a manipulative witch. Manipulative witches are fun to live with! Kate tries to leave but Sami stops her and says EJ is going to throw her out on her ass. Kate starts laughing because as we all know...she has no ass!

EJ needs to do Stefano one last thing, and EJ cannot figure it out, and Stefano is not telling yet so this was a huge waste of time! THANKS! Kate and Sami are still fighting and Kate says that she has underestimated Stefano DiMera. Sami does that with everyone, including her kids now. Pretty soon Syndey will be 20, and quite the handful! Stefano wants the kids back in the house within the hour. Why does there have to be a time limit?? EJ wonders what to do about Sami, and Stefano says what does she matter. EJ has yet to tell the big guy he loves the lady....well I'd be embarrassed too if I were EJ.

Adrienne is screaming at Justin because as we saw from the Hurricane it's a time to PANIC!! She tells Phillip he is not responding...well most people unconscious DO NOT respond so it's actually a good sign. Meanwhile Melanie doesn't give a rat's ass about what Stephanie thinks and neither does the audience. Stephanie does not admire quitters....wow! Melanie does not admire mean people...double wow! This is EMMY WORTHY WRITING!! Melanie turns in her forms and tells Steph that what she does is none of her business, but Stephanie disagrees. Stephanie is an annoying bitch.

Nevermind the QUEEN of Annoying Bitches is ........CHLOE! Chloe is going through boxes and Daniel wonders what she is doing....is it that hard to figure out Danny? She wants to be helpful..which in bitch code means Dammit now I have to move this woman's shit too. Carly is equally freaked out by Chloe being fake nice. Let's make closet space!! Daniel notices the baby clothes in the box....dead babies are a theme on this show!!

Stefano encourages EJ to come up with something to get the kids back. Normally these matters are handled legally. EJ wants more time, which is actually reasonable, but Stefano says ONE HOUR! Does that mean the rest of the week on the show or within this episode? One Hour is confusing Days time.

Carly does not want to live there, and Daniel shuts her up by telling her to go see her patients. Carly DOES NOT work and Daniel's suggestion is just wrong. Chloe thinks its swell having Carly around....bitch code..."Carly's getting her ass kicked later." Daniel wants an explanation for the baby clothes. They totally could have been Chloe's summer outfits. Chloe likes to look at Baby outfits she bought in the past, she asks Daniel if it's a problem, and he says it's not. Actually IT IS a MENTAL issue.

Justin arrives at the hospital and Nathan is his doctor...that's just bad luck all around for Justin. Phillip says he saw the guy who did it, but can't give Roman any more information. That would be the information HE NEEDS! Adrienne says Justin was robbed. Chad lets Madeline know that someone was attacked like like his dad....wow is Chad going to be a cop because he just outdid them all by making a connection.

EJ and Sami are together and he's trying to bring up the whole GIVE ME BABIES NOW situation. He tells her things have changed and that he DID NOT throw out Stefano. Who needs a BREAK from EJ and Sami like the one Rafe and Sami are on?

Daniel is all of a slutttteeennnn Dr. Phil. He hugs Chloe and realizes that she has not been honest with him. He realizes Carly being there does not make Chloe happy, and she admits it like a good daught....I mean girlfriend. Daniel wants Chloe to talk to him....OMG he must be crazy to want to talk to her. She admits she is upset Carly gave him a baby and she cannot....Dude just go steal one or something!

Melanie and Stephanie are still talking and can't for the life of me understand why. Brief summary: Melanie wants Stephanie to shut up. Stephanie won't go away. The End.

Roman seems to be recruiting Chad for the police force because he tells his parents that Chad has a good theory about the assault.

EJ is still trying to work Sami. He brings up the fact that Stefano wants to see the kids...yeah so would the rest of the audience. They hide these kids like they are disfigured, ugly stepchildren. Bring on the SORASED youth!

Daniel and Chloe are being gross with one another. He says she was everything he wanted in a woman....that's real nice but he means boobs and butt, and he likes them slutty too. He just wants her, which is his way of saying Chloe should never breed. Chloe wants Daniel to have Melanie in his life, but she worries about him getting sucked into Carly's life. Carly's life just sucks, his sucks because of YOU. Daniel says that nothing will come between them.....until Sweeps.

Carly finds Adrienne and DING DING DING Carly has a female friend. Adrienne wants to be there for Carly...OMG I MAY CRY! Carly should sign up on Facebook she is so popular these days. Adrienne says that if Carly needs anything let her know...and Carly who doesn't understand that is what you say when you are being nice...takes her up on the favor.

Breaking News: Chad thinks something weird is going on with Madeline. Find out more later on Days!

EJ brings up Stefano as the Grandfather of the Year Recipient. Does Sami take pills for hypertension because one day she is going to keel over? Sami does not understand EJ's argument....I think he lost her with the word "contrition." Sami thinks EJ is suffering from sleep deprivation......well the bags under his eyes are HUGE and all red. Sami says she forgives him this time, but EJ says um, actually TONIGHT would be a good time for the Don to see the future Mafia family.

Nathan talks to Carly...is this the Twilight Zone?? Why is she so popular now? He realizes Melanie is married....WOW Captain Obvious once again! He says he is dating Stephanie and feels lucky. Why did Carly have to be informed of all of this? Melanie and Stephanie are still talking too. Steph thinks it is unfair to Nathan to have to see Melanie everyday if she becomes a nursing student. Melanie thinks its unfair she cannot go to work because of Nathan, and Stephanie thinks she should stay home and breed. Somehow Melanie figures out that Nathan and Stephanie are back together and Steph is insecure. Who is happy there was at least no crying?

Sami hopes EJ is joking and does not understand his British humor....he is serious...she is not happy and refuses to bring the kids over to Stefano's. That did not go well for EJ.

Daniel and Chloe...OMG all that hair...and then Chloe's hair too! Carly calls Danny to let him know she is going to be torturing...I mean living with Adrienne now. So basically she will NOT be far away from Daniel's place. Daniel hangs up and continues with the spooning. Guessing telling Chloe is not on the top of his list?

Melanie and Stephanie........still not caring for some reason. Melanie can tell Stephanie read that letter and Steph admits it, but is not sorry. The fucking letter yet again! The letter that just needs to die a storyline death.

Justin wakes up and wonders what happened. Adrienne explains that he was mugged, and Justin adds that part of his brain is missing too. These attackers go for the head, which is kind of enjoyable on this program. Can we pick the victims?? Like let's do Days Victim, instead of American Idol, and we can vote for who gets attacked next? Adrienne says she is going to stay with Justin, and he says she does not have to.

Kate and Stefano are excited children will be in their house.....that sounds wrong. Stefano is happy, but can tell Kate is bothered by something. Kate talks about the Madeline stare down.... which implies that Stefano KNOWS Madeline....HELLO!

Sami and EJ are arguing now...oh the good old days! Sami cannot believe he is serious and says anything between them is over. EJ insists he is sincere and has changed. Sami thinks the 180 he is doing is crazy.....as opposed to the 360 head turns your mom did when she was possessed by Satan?!

Daniel and Chloe still spooning....ugh! His double vision comes back, but he does not tell Chloe the truth. He just lectured her about how she should be honest with him, but then he lies!! MEN! Even worse...HAIRY MEN!

Adrienne leaves Justin's side.....because he is an asshole. Nathan tries to update her, but she says he is no longer her husband. Stephanie lectures Melanie about the letter....and of course, Phillip is listening outside. Stupid letter!

Stefano does not want Kate worrying about Madeline...tell me why she is worried!!! TELL ME!! Kate wonders if EJ fails at getting Sami to cooperate. EJ tells Samantha that something is going on and she has a right to know.................in the next episode and in the form of a big fat huge lie!

Previews: Roman tells Rafe to keep Sami away from the DiMeras....wow that would have been such great advice about TEN YEARS AGO!

Sami tells EJ to tell her the truth and it better be good.....you are seriously on the wrong show!! Even the lies are lame. Try General Hospital or Bold and the Beautiful where the lies are just fabulous and the truth is just as delicious.

Stefano says to Kate that he will destroy him.....do we get popcorn for that?? We never got out freaking popcorn that was implied and/or promised!