General Hospital has the Better Surgical Team

Carly is at the hospital...NOT WORKING and on the phone with Danny. She does not want to move in with him....maybe because it is the WORST IDEA IN THE HISTORY OF IDEAS! When Carly suggests your idea is stupid...it HAS to be pretty bad! The only positive to this whole plan is that Chloe will be upset...but they we will have to hear her whiny butt. Daniel says he will talk to Chloe, and of course Chloe is like talk to me about what? Chloe needs a warm cup of SHUT UP!

Chad and Gaby are now hanging at the Pub...was the Cafe full? They bicker about whether or not Rafe is guilty of hitting Chad's dad. Who cares? Sami goes into the Police Station like she owns the fucking joint! RUDE! Why is she always given special treatment? Rafe and Hope are still talking to one another...it's a nightmare. Rafe calls D.A. a slimeball...anyone else shocked Rafe knew a big word? Hope reminds him that he is being taped and should not say such retarded things! She asks where he was last night...that sounded like a come on....OMG Hope and Rafe should hook up and have babies...thereby creating the ultimate nightmare!

Stefano says he knows that EJ took Sydney. EJ wants to know how many people he told......that's not a weird question. Where is the denials that waste about 55 minutes of the episode? Sami is unable to see Rafe...OMG someone is doing their jobs!! Abe comes over and has to deal with Sami in that freaking out mode she has. What did Abe ever do to deserve this? My Mayor is not this active!! In defense of Rafe, Sami says he would never attack that weasel....Remind me never to have Sami on my side. Abe tells her she is stupid because he actually did the other day. Rafe tells Hope he was alone the night before......poor guy needs to get laid.

Stefano is shocked that is all EJ has to say for himself. EJ says that he reacted the same way when he discovered Stefano's role in the baby switch..um Stefano acted better actually and was more compelling. Stefano is annoyed because EJ made it look like Sydney died...from Stefano's hitory guessing that its only okay to do that when it's an adult. EJ says she is not dead and again asks how many people know. At this rate Stefano should just list random people...like oh my butcher, the mailman, my florist, the goons, etc. EJ guesses that he told no one, and Stefano says he will tell people...way to give yourself away!! EJ doesn't think Stefano will tell anyone because he would look like an idiot.....well EJ looks like an idiot so he got that covered for the both of them.

Phillip and Melanie come over Daniel and Chloes place and this is going to be gross, awkward family bonding time. Convinced that Chloe wants Melanie to call her mommy! Daniel thanks Chloe for the idea of them all getting together....Are they going to reminisce about Chloe and Phillip's sexy times too?? Meanwhile Carly is now STILL NOT WORKING..and on the phone with Bo. Oh great she gets to talk to Maggie next. Things just get worse and worse for Carly.

Sami thinks Rafe didn't do it. Abe says they have to prove that Rafe did not do it. Yes, that is usually how it works. However.....WHY AREN'T THE COPS DOING THAT??! Why is the Mayor involved dammit?!! And why is he encouraging Sami, she is not a cop!! Even Hope is annoyed with Rafe who fell off the special bus and into the interrogation room. He says he took a walk the night before. Why not flat out lie and say you read a book?

EJ thinks no one will believe Stefano, and Stefano disagrees. EJ says that Stefano will never see the grandchildren again...YOU ALREADY threatened him with that!!! Stefano will make EJ pay...with his balls on a platter please!!

Maggie tries to butt in and find out what Bo and Carly were talking about...at least she is a consistant nosy person. Carly tells her everything...why not tell her Kimberly's blood type and Social Security information while you are at it. Carly is so happy to talk to someone she tells her everything! Maggie wonders about Carly with Bo gone...funny how everyone thinks Carly cannot survive without Bo...she STABBED HER HUSBAND!! Just because she cannot dress herself does not mean she cannot take care of herself. Carly says that Bo wants her to stay with Daniel...because the guy who can't see straight is going to protect her.

Chloe did not even cook her guests at dinner because she cannot cook...besides singing can she do anything else?? She might literally be useless. Phillip and Melanie clear the table...living at Maggie's is like a sweat shop and they are well trained. Daniel tells Chloe he is happy to bond with Melanie.....he must have hit his head harder than we thought.

Abe looks at Wood's statement and says that Rafe better have a good alibi. Rafe says he went to walk in the woods to think.........*crickets*.........*crickets*....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG Rafe went somewhere to THINK?! Hope might even be shocked and she calls him out on it. She thinks he is hiding something...yeah he does not know how to think!! Sami then picks up the file and looks at it...again thinking she OWNS the place!! Can someone step in and tell this woman off besides her child?

EJ doubts Stefano's skills...that's your biggest mistake right there! Stefano calls EJ out for being cruel and torturing people...it must be like looking in a mirror for Stefano then. EJ blames it all on Anna and says he will have Stefano institutionalized for dementia if he says otherwise. Beginning to think this show causes dementia!

Daniel has to go to the hospital to perform emergency surgery...LAWSUIT!! Chloe then comments that Daniel has double vision and that is not the best idea. Wow she remembered something! Melanie is going to drive her dad and wants to sit in on the surgery....um NEPOTISM!! and Rude she is just a nurse, that is not fair! Chloe wonders what Daniel wanted to talk about and realizes it was about Carly....Chloe's least favorite subject. Someone has to smack that look that Chloe always makes off her face.

Hope is going to try to help Rafe out with his alibi...maybe someone saw him thinking really hard in the woods and was afraid he was having a seizure. Rafe then feels the need to complain about the D.A. again!! Something tells me this guy is going to die and Rafe is going to get arrested! Abe thankfully catches Sami reading the file. ARREST HER!! SAVE THE CHILDREN! Sami thinks she can prove Rafe is innocent...oh she is a detective now?!!

EJ says that the FBI cannot prove that he took Sydney, so there is no way Stefano can. Stefano is more powerful than the FBI dummy!!! He could take out Bin Laden if he wanted. Stefano points out that he is smarter than the FBI...well yeah America really does not have he smartest people working there...seriously RAFE? Now EJ wants Stefano to basically retire to Florida. Unleashing Kate and Stefano in Florida is DANGEROUS! Then Stefano whips out.......GUTTER PEOPLE...that he might have proof!

Phillip is playing CEO of the company. Chloe wonders what all the big words he used means. He explains that Victor put him in charge and a tv anchor quit...he suggest CHLOE fill in. OH GOD! He has to promise her she won't die and everything. She says her full time job is to be with Daniel....funny that is what a stalker would say too! Meanwhile Daniel and Carly discuss surgery like they know what they are talking about....they dumb! Melanie follows them in really excited and peppy...is this much family allowed in one operating room? Are there not laws?

Chad visits his dad and mommy. Mom's name is Madeline...ANOTHER M NAME...is this an inside joke?? He brought chili from the pub which means the D.A. will die of gas. Abe calls him to let him know that Rafe is being questioned, and the D.A. is bringing in a special person to take care of Rafe. Abe puts the D.A. in his place and reminds him that HE IS THE MAYOR....which essentially means Mayor > D.A. Charlie from Empty Nest is annoyed he got threatened and Chad wonders if it was really Rafe who attacked him. OF COURSE IT'S NOT RAFE!! That would be too easy.

Sami says Rafe was with her...LIES! Hope says they will release Rafe once they corroborate Sami's story, but Rafe pretty much ruins everything because he is a dumbass. Hope asks Rafe what he and Sami were doing the previous night...um, hello..rude question its called SEX Hope. Rafe starts talking about them being on a break...DUMBASS!

Stefano gets on the computer and still wondering who taught him how to use one! He pulls up a video of Anna. Anna basically admits everything, the whole plot, even the BOOTS! Stefano has EJ nailed to the wall....thinkin' he meant to say "I have your balls nailed to the wall" but we'll take what we can get!

Oh God its Days' surgery time....someone might die from everyone in scrubs alone. Daniel is telling Carly what to do..which isn't any different from life outside the surgical room. While this is the lamest surgery ever, Carly somehow manages to pull through and save the patient. Was anyone else holding their breath out of fear? Daniel says Carly did it..she says WE DID IT...yeah we know, and next time use protection. Melanie thinks they make a good team, and Daniel thinks they make a good product. Cut to all the nurses and camera crew throwing up from the crap that just came out of all three of their mouths. That was worse than cheesy....Many people just caught Diabetes.

The D.A. is lecturing Chad and says he should think with his head and not with his.....and that is the just another exaple of how a dirty word could have been used on this show but they FAIL! Momma steps in, and have I mentioned today how much I like her. Maybe she put a hit out on her husband because he sucks.

Sami tries to cover up the stupid that is Rafe, but no one is that powerful. Rafe tells her that lying is a NO NO. Hope points out that Rafe now needs a lawyer...if it's Justin that is stupid..is he the only lawyer left in town? Hope leaves and Sami says she knows Rafe did not do it. STAND BY YOUR MAN......BA DA DA DA DA DA DA.

EJ probably has dirty underwear but thinks the video is meaningless. Stefano says he will bring Anna back to confirm everything. However, Stefano wants to give Sami and Rafe a call. Maybe he wants to invite them to dinner, go to the park with them, or catch a flick!

Maggie gets a visit from Hope....poor Maggie. Apparently Hope know NOTHING about the Kimberly situation...Personally I think it was Rude of SeeWhoreA not to share that information with her mom.

Chloe sets an alarm so she knows when Daniel has to take his pills....is she 80? Daniel left his medication there so Phillip and Chloe decide to go to the hospital to give them to him......where of course things will get awkward. Carly meets with the happy little family in the waiting area!! Someone get a camera to capture the Kodak moment. Melanie is so happy...and Daniel says Carly did a great job...can this get any worse?? What is going to make Melanie freak out eventually because we all know she will?

Rafe cannot let Sami lie for him. Sami takes this as an excuse to freak out once again! She loves him, he loves her, but that is NOT ENOUGH! Meanwhile EJ is shaking in his undies, and Stefano says he is going to lose his kids. EJ does not know what to do and Stefano wants him to tell the truth. What does "truth" mean?? Never heard of it! Do they feature it on the show a great deal?

Maggie knows that Bo left messages for Hope...is she tapping phone lines now? Hope apparently erased the messages...it's part of her daily quest to become an even bigger moron. Maggie explains that she ran into Carly who told her everything. Then Maggie lectures Hope on how she cannot shut Bo out....go TEAM CARLY! Hope tries to make excuses but ends up relenting that she HAS TO get along with Bo for that little serial killer they are raising.

Carly and Melanie are bonding and are going to take care of Big Daddy! Luckily Chloe and Phillip walk in to make things more interesting, and by interesting I mean stopping the stupid conversation from continuing. Chloe of course is NOT HAPPY to see Carly with her family....yes that is HER FAMILY! Dear Chloe, Step Off BITCH! Thanks. Mess.

Chad and his mom are at the PIER..maybe trying to score some drugs? Chad is sad. Chad is not glad. Chad's mom tries to cheer him up. Gaby shows up. Now everyone is sad. Chad's mom likes Gaby and she must be a drug addict to be interested in Gaby. Something smells rotten in the state of Salem....aside from EJ.

Sami is still in denial that her and Rafe are over. Wow who knew it was this hard to break up with Sami? CLINGY! Rafe explains that it is not about love...yeah it's about Sami being an annoying fuck up. Rafe does not see how they can get past that....its called Sweeps!

Well it took the whole hour, and if anyone really stuck around and watched the whole thing...EJ admits that he kidnapped Sydney. Stefano then tells him he will regret it....yeah we have been WAITING FOR THAT!!

Previews: Carly tells Vivian to shut up alot. Who gave Carly Manning a backbone?? Again out of nowhere! If I were Vivian I would talk alot just to spite Carly and the rude Shut up attack. Vivian is a talker and will not shut up...tell shut up to like Hope, Melanie or Chloe. Worry about the younger bitches in your life!

Stefano wonders how EJ will stop him, and EJ says by any means necessary. Silly EJ! Stefano CANNOT DIE! Go right ahead and stab the man, he will be back and you will still be screwed. The Phoenix is going to poop on you and your Brooks Brothers suit!

Sami says he changed and Roman says that DiMera's don't change. Gee wonder who they talking about?? Funny thing is EJ NEVER CHANGES! His clothes are always the same so dammit Roman is right. EJ needs to hit his head and become a nice guy because right now he still sucks.