Tuesday, April 6, 2010

EJ's Passions....for Signing

Bo is wondering why Kimberly never said anything about her condition.....it was because she knew you'd need a reason to leave Salem because you were in danger of working overtime. Carly comments that at least Bo is a match for her....how convenient considering they are not full siblings! Maybe Bo will bring Shane back with him and give EJ a British beat down. Bo worries about Vivian...when really lots more other people want Carly dead.

Hope arrives at the hospital, but unfortunately NOT checking herself in. Daniel goes to see about a patient who was brought in and should he be working?? How is that allowed?? Lexie asks Hope if she wants to come over for dinner....hahaha yeah let's see her eat on camera. D.A. Woods is the victim and Hope asks him questions. One of the questions should be why are you on this show? He says he knows who did this to him. That's a first on this show.

Gaby and Rafe are at the cafe. She is mad at him for ditching her....Can't say that I blame him! She asks Rafe where he was, but he does not answer. Stage exit Left: ENTIRE HERNANDEZ FAMILY. They are all a waste of space.

Sami comes out of her room wearing an UGLY robe to have breakfast served to her by EJ......the rapist. She is sad that Will left...then next time she should listen to her son instead of whining and crying. EJ thinks Will will come around, but I'm sure EJ is happy to be rid of the bastard. They get interrupted, THANKFULLY, by a phone call. Stefano asks EJ to come over....to torture him??

Hope asks who beat up the D.A. and he responds that Rafe did it. Great let's send Rafe to prison and on his merry way. Goodbye. Rafe tells Gaby he is sorry and wants to pay for the movie ticket she bought for him. Most people WOULD NOT buy the ticket until after the person shows up. She is stupid and should not get her money back. Rafe mumbles and what's his purpose on this show again? Gaby blames everything on Sami...the only smart thing she has said since she has been in town.

EJ and Stefano chat and Stefano makes it seem like he will leave the house. EJ agrees to meet with him, and stupid EJ thinks he has won. Someone has been around Brady and Rafe too long and caught the stupid. Kate wonders if Stefano seriously is letting EJ win. Stefano says not everything is as it seems......kind of like Kate's face. Someone stop Stefano from calling her Katerina in the future!! This is the second time I've asked!! Katerina is CARLY..NOT Kate!

Carly wants Bo to not worry about her......well he is the only one who does so bad move on your part. She does not think they should worry about Vivian...yeah, Chloe is the bigger problem right now. Bo tells Carly he thinks about her all the time and how much he loves her.....um, YEAH RIGHT. That is code for "I have dirty thoughts about you and like having you around to have sex with" love.

Hope questions D.A. about his attack. The D.A. HEARD his attacker and guessing that he did not see him. the D.A. tells her about Rafe's earlier attack on him at the station. Abe lets Lexie know that basically he has to be on the show more now what with all that's happened. Hope asks him about the Rafe freak out, and Abe confirms that Rafe snapped. Rafe gets a call from Hope to come down to the station. Rafe and Hope in one scene.....This could be exciting in the most boring way possible.

Sami wonders if Stefano could be serious, but remains doubtful as it is not Stefano's style to give in. She likes the "new" EJ and does not want him going back to "that house." At this rate, if Sami wanted a pony someone would get it for her.....dumb brat. And the "new" EJ?? Please, the "new" EJ is a fake ass son of a bitch.

Kate starts talking but to be honest she lost me with the bird shit. She wonders where they are going to live, and what about Will who is moving in with them? Stefano says they are not going anywhere...so Kate responds that things are not what they seem.....HE TOLD YOU THAT! OMG did the hair dye fumes go to her head?? Stefano says EJ will get what he deserves....he deserves to be castrated but something tells me the show won't go that route.

Will decides that he needs coffee now that he is a real man for telling Sami off. Rafe asks him if he has plans for spring break.....because a nerd with NO friends is going to be having tons of shit to do. Will lets him know that he is moving out after the fight he had with Sami. Thankfully Rafe eventually leaves, and Will starts talking to Gaby. Poor Kid can't catch a break! He asks her if she's talked to Chad about his dad. OF Course, Chad overhears this and says what about him? Will delivers the unfortunate news that Daddy got his ass kicked and he is in the hospital....but not dead yet!

Sami worries that EJ will turn into Stefano...nope he's officially worse than Stefano. Stefano was always charming and funny...EJ is just good looking, but lacks social skills. Sami is all proud that EJ has finally gotten rid of Stefano....apparently Sami has forgotten the last oh, 30 some odd years of her life where Stefano has always been present. Stefano is talking about how Elvis' end game is coming.....So Elvis will really have left the building this time??! Can't wait!

Chad checks in on his dad....who I'm praying is not really his father because it's not possible they are in the same gene pool. Chad's mommy makes her first appearance...and OMG Jessica Tuck, I'm having OLTL memories. Okay, again...that woman did not have sex with THAT man and create Chad...all lies!

Bo visits the dead lifeless little demon child SeeWhoreA before he leaves town. He explains that her aunt isn't feeling well and the little creeper will miss her daddy. She asks if Bo loves her mommy. SeeWhoreA gotz to mind her bizness! Grandpa Victor is spying by the way and hears everything. Bo says he will talk to SeeWhoreA via Skype....because it went so well the last time!!! That kid had to watch him dry hump Carly on the sofa. Victor is amused by the situation, and Bo warns him what will happen if he does not keep Vivian in check. Then he leaves and calls Freaky Face. Is he going to Skype with her too?

Rafe comes in and Hope asks where he was last night. To be fair to Rafe he has no clue where he was an hour ago or what he had for breakfast. It's like a pile of nothing upstairs. He's got a good shot at a brain damage plea.

Sami is doing the laundry...wow she cleans!! Will and Kate arrive to pick up his things..OUCH that must hurt to see Kate raise your child. EJ gets to the mansion and wants Stefano to sign his papers. Stefano wants to play chess...um RUDE there is a soap opera going on right now. Luckily EJ is in no mood to play chess, and Stefano agrees that the games must end. All these cliches must end before someone gets CUT!

Carly finds Daniel...at the PIER. Do they give out free drinks there? Something being going on off camera we don't know about. She gives him an article to read about his problem.....funny! She gives a guy with a VISION PROBLEM an article to read! Bo arrives and tells Daniel about his sister. Did Kimberly give him permission to tell every person on the planet? He asks Daniel if it is okay for him to donate bone marrow after his pancreas transplant. Daniel then brings up how worried he is that Bo is leaving Carly alone....NOW he worries!

Chad's mom, asks what the hell happened to her husband. D.A. says it was Rafe, but Chad does not buy it. Chad's dad criticizes Chad's taste in women...first the blonde bimbo Mia...he left out conniving little slut too! And now he is with that Gaby who fell off the yellow bus more than once. Momma got her boy's back and Rafe is in trouble. Meanwhile Hope is telling Rafe about how the D.A. was attacked and he is the one accused. Now he is getting punished because Hope is talking to him...a punishment far worse than any prison.

Kate leaves Sami and Will alone. Will does not really want to talk, and Sami points out that she is the mom and Will is her kid. Gee...Who is the Captain Obvious award going to today?? That was a winner if I ever do say so myself right there. Stefano talks about Sydney, and EJ is going through all the papers for Stefano to sign. What a waste of a scene and our time quite frankly because nothing really happens, but the background music is FABULOUS.

Bo says that Victor will handle Vivian..in more ways than one ewwwwww. Bo wants to take Carly with him.....Loving how Carly has a say in her own life and Bo and Daniel just take over completely like she is not even there. Daniel says Carly cannot leave because of her work............*crickets*..............*crickets*......okay HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Carly works HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Daniel does not want Vivian thinking she has won, so he suggests that Carly stay with him and Chloe....um WORST IDEA EVER. Thinking that Daniel is thinking with his small head here.....there will be NO threesome Daniel. Carly wants to speak up, but Daniel shuts her up with his hairiness and then leaves. Carly does NOT want to stay with Daniel.....Chloe she don't mind so much. Bo insists and he does that kiss thing to shut her up.

Rafe does not have an alibi...or a good storyline going apparently. Chad and his mom who lacks a name are bonding. Chad is not fond of his father and his attitude. Mom defends her husband and says they want what's best for Chad...blah blah blah. Mom then asks Chad about 20 questions....Gaby? Drugs? Well, she is already a better mom than Sami and her son actually likes her!

EJ says he is not a liar...well that was a lie right there! Stefano insists that EJ is a big ole liar, but EJ just wants him to sign the bloody papers. Then he brings up Anna and well the tide is finally turning. Is this going to be another 1:57 show?? Thinking so!!

Abe tells the D.A. that justice will be served. Chad's mom says that Rafe is going down....God I hope that is foreshadowing! Rafe says he has no alibi. He says that if he WOULD have done it, that the D.A. would be dead. Well way to admit to a murder that has yet to happen and will now probably definitely happen.

Sami wants Will to stay. LEAVE WILL LEAVE!! The phone rings and she sees its Abe so it must be important because the Mayor don't call just anybody!! She leaves the room and Will is left alone. He notices the dishes from Breakfast time with EJ, and that pushes his last button. He gets Kate, and tells her that he cannot live there so he leaves. Going out on a limb and saying that Sami will be crying soon.

EJ asks Stefano to sign the papers again.....that is RUDE by the way because everyone knows you have to read shit before you sign it! Stefano is still beating around the bush and not in a good way. He mentions how horrible the bloody clothes fiasco was. EJ just wants him to SIGN! Stefano would like to finish his chess game, EJ finally sits down, and Stefano beats him. MATE EJ LOSES!

Bo and Carly need to get a room, but they don't. Bo prepares to leave Salem and he and Carly walk off. "I'll follow you anywhere".....even to the bathroom?? Seriously! Hope says she is building a case against Rafe. When he finally realizes she does not mean a suitcase, he realizes he is in trouble. She actually has to spell out for him that it was the D.A.! Abe calls Sami to tell her that Rafe is in trouble.....my Mayor never calls me to tell me my ex boyfriend is in trouble. He has some explaining to do!

Stefano is one of those sore winners and says that EJ LOST!! NEENER NEENER NEENER!
EJ rudely knocks off all the pieces off the chessboard. Dammit the maid will now have to clean all that shit up. Stefano says he does not have to sign, because EJ is a big old loser. EJ says this is not over and Stefano agrees. You dumb Son of a Bitch EJ! Stefano KNOWS EVERYTHING!!! EJ needs to invest in some Depends.

Previews: Hope asks Rafe where he was last night. Really hoping that Rafe was like sleeping with the D.A's wife or something just as seedy and evil. Although knowing Rafe he was just napping.

Sami screams at Abe...who is probably never going to call her again! Rafe would never attack the D.A.....well he did the day before you dumbass. Why does Sami's opinion even matter...she is a unimportant townsperson!

Stefano tells EJ he will pay for what he has done. Well he did give Anna 5 million dollars. So he did pay there. Although I still vote that EJ needs to be either deballed or sterilized. What happened to all those scientific experiments that Stefano used to perform??!! Bring that shit back!

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