As the Rapist Gets Massaged

Melanie confronts Stephanie about the birth control pills that were thrown away. This show is a clear advocate of the rhythm method. Seriously no one uses protection or birth control on this show and they are baby making machines. Melanie is deciding whether or not to tell Nathan what is going on. She tells Brady, and he even says she is being nosy and should stay out of it. Stephanie is annoyed with Melanie and vice versa. Seriously, Melanie needs to mind her business and concentrate on Phillip and that bitch Chloe.

Anna admits everything about the kidnapping to Calliope....just not the EJ part. Calliope is upset and gets out of there. Rafe tells her she is a hero for saving their country....unless Anna is a terrorist then NO catching Anna is not a huge priority for the FBI sorry. Calliope has to keep talking to Anna more to find out that she was working for someone. Anna is drunk and at this point I do not blame her. She thinks Calliope is being very pushy and now she is really suspicious. Side note: These two back together is at least funny and entertaining in the sense that they are the appropriate level of crazy ass bitches.

Victor visits Brady and complains about the muggings. Find it funny how Victor and Stefano have the most money in town and have not been mugged yet. Maggie visits Brady and her and Victor share stares with one another. He escorts her home because she needs a ride.....get out of the gutter people. She tells him that she wants to help him get the family back together. She will do all she can to bring him and Melanie and Phillip closer. As shes pouring coffee she starts to shake and faints into Victor's arms. Guessing that Maggie's condition is getting worse, and Victor will help her through it. This might seriously be the best storyline we see all summer as these two fall in love. IF WRITTEN CORRECTLY!

The final story of the day......the rapists! UGHHHHHHHHHH. Okay these two are flirting the whole episode. Finally EJ says he wants to go for a swim and tricks Johnny and Sami into joining him. In probably the best moment of the day...EJ HAS HIS SHIRT OFF! HOLY FUCKING HELL HE IS FINE! His shoulder hurts and Sami agrees to rub it....the shoulder nothing else....at least for now. They get all hot and bothered and are about to kiss.....yeah its not going to happen. While these two have chemistry they make me sick as a couple. Two rapists do not equal a love story! EJ needs to find someone else to sleep with and Sami should consider sterilization.

Previews: Anna tells Calliope that their conversation is over. Well damn it was the best thing they had going so far! It takes them 20 years to reconnect and their conversation is about taxes and kidnappings. Anna needs to get back to Salem and not go to prison. She makes all other characters more fun and keeps the show interesting.

Stephanie spies Nathan and Melanie talking and he says they are talking about her. Way to keep things a secret there Nathan. These three need to stop having scenes together. Nathan needs to learn its not okay to always talk to Melanie, and Melanie needs to stay away from Nathan. Stephanie needs to learn that Melanie is not your friend so stop being partially nice. And Nathan needs to keep the two little poodles away from each other.

Will asks Sami if she has feelings for EJ. Hopefully this is followed by another lecture to his mother about how stupid she is. Maybe Will is not really Sami's son and he was switched at birth with a much older baby who came from an intelligent family. Disown your mother and find a chick to sleep with who is not a whore like Mia.