Text Messages of Our Lives

Okay this is a special episode because almost all our characters are in the SAME place at the same time!! PARTY!!

Vivian texted the whole damn town to come to her spontaneous wedding, under the guise of Victor being in trouble. Confused as to why she invited people she hates like Kate, but whatever bring on the drunks! Victor is NOT happy at all about the whole thing and everyone else looks like they are trying to not laugh their asses off. Maggie wants Victor to call it off, and their relationship actually makes me happy. Its so rare on this show! Carly wants Bo to let his dad off the hook, but he reminds her Vivian is a huge problem. Carly tells Bo that MURDER IS WRONG!!! um, Lawrence Alamain? Do we remember him Carly? Daniel and Chloe are talking about their wedding, and not about how she cheated on Danny....with Phillip, not because she went tanning without him.

Okay listen I'm just waiting for the grand EXES of Victor Photo op with Nicole, Vivian, Kate, and Carly. This is going to be AMAZING people because its hysterical they are all in the same room and are getting along. Plus they are all drinkers which tells you how Victor likes his women.

Sami has a fun episode today. Kate tells her why she sucks as a mom, which is great because Kate got rid of all her kids and OWNS it. She tells Sami she is losing Will to Stefano and maybe that is a good thing because Sami can barely dress herself let alone take care of her kids. Then Sami has to deal with Caroline "I am a hypocrite Christian boozer" Brady. Caroline wants Sami out of that house but its not happening soon. Caroline decides that praying for Stefano to die is the best course of action. Very Christian of you Caroline!! Maybe you should get yourself a man and mind your business.

Will and Stefano bond!! He calls him Guglielmo, which is William in Italian but probably the most embarrassing thing ever! Will lets him know that the Italian nicknames do not work for him. Stefano is wearing his leather jacket and trying to be hip. Its so sad yet hysterical all at the same time. Chad comes in and its like Stefano has little minions in training. Madeline comes in and freaks out like most women in this damn town. She tells Stefano she has a tape she will use against him. My question: Why does Stefano LET this woman have something over him? Was she that good a prostitute?

Boozer of the Day: Kate for drinking a Martini at 10am which is clearly happy hour. And while she was drinking she still had to school Sami on all things Chanel!

Previews: Hope and SeeWhoreA argue over whether mommy has a treasure box or not. Most mothers would go to the bed and SHOW their kids there is nothing there. Maybe if Hope ate something she would be brilliant enough to come up with this genius plan I just had. Yes your child is cray cray but at least prove that she is a little creeper!

Victor asks Vivian if she wants a wedding or not. Well that just screams ROMANCE! Seriously I love Vivian and Victor but why on earth does she have to marry him? They are JUST friends and its not like he won't give her shit. She is going to get all jealous of Maggie which is interesting because I am already picturing the cat fights in my mind that will never take place on this show.

Rafe picks up his cellmate and says its YOU! You is Shane Donovan. Sorry if you are spoiled but I mean really......is it that shocking? It's Mr. Sheffield from the Nanny for anyone not aware of Shane. Also, who cares that Shane is back? Until Kim comes back and then MAYBE we can have fond memories of when the show was fun to watch!