Sunday, March 28, 2010

All Justin's Tampons

Brady and Arianna learn that a Hurricane is coming.....PANIC!!!! That was really all there was to the scene. That and fake wind.

Stephanie and Adrienne remember the fact that they are related. Justin is drinking and really bummed. Hope comes in and makes it worse and tells Justin what she told Adrienne. Justin is pissed but he is slowly becoming a girlie man. Julie who sleeps with her sister's father walks in....that is normal nevermind.

Daniel and Melanie meet up at the dad and I do not go to pubs together. Not that I am judging it's just a sad moment. Chloe sees them together and gets sad to the point where it looks like her puppy died. Carly though, whose puppy was killed by a townsperson, is at work and in walks Phillip to yell at her. Thinking this will end with how much Carly sucks and is hated by everyone.

Chloe says hello to Dan and Mel and yeah that was awkward. She cannot wait to hang out with Mel and talk with Phillip maybe? Melanie has a girl crush on Chloe and apparently she thinks Chloe is about setting the bar low! Daniel gives Melanie his mother's locket. Awwwwww that was sweet. However, that locket was a bit much. Did they not have the Hope Diamond to give Melanie to wear?

Phillip gets all sassy with Carly. He is being a schmuck and Carly is taking it up the ass unfortunately. Although can you blame her for being weak with that outfit on?? Jesus! Can someone hook this show up with Target because these outfits are seriously an issue? Phillip tells her to stay out of Melanie's life....because Melanie hates her. Carly cannot do that...she has the running into people I should avoid disease.

Hurricane is still coming....PANICCCCCCCC.

Julie thinks Hope is a big old idiot. TEAM JULIE! Hope agrees with her that she is a stupid fool. I have been saying this for YEARS NOW!! Julie points out to Hope that everything she does is Bo/Hope related. This whole episode should be dubbed the Captain Obvious episode. Adrienne tells her niece the Hope is stupid story. Justin shows up to stink up the place and then they both throw Hope under the bus for all their pain. Justin must be getting his period because he extra annoying today.

Nicole wants Brady happy, as does Arianna who intends to keep him. Arianna rushes off to pack because there is a Hurricane coming..PANNNNNNNNNNICCCCCC. Brady wants to talk to Nicole...he better ask where that wig is!!

Daniel and Melanie are at the pub. Melanie wants to hear all about her family. Daniel tells Melanie that she has other relatives. Oh those feisty von Leuschners! Maybe if they tell Melanie she is a princess, then she will like Carly. Nothing says I love you like a tiara for your birthday. Daniel is apparently on Team Carly...OMG they should sell T-shirts! Melanie will not forgive Carly...but she forgives Stephanie 1-2-3 that makes sense.

Carly and Phillip chat at the hospital, because why would she be working? She defends herself and he defends the fact he wants to protect Melanie. Why Melanie still needs protection is beyond me and maybe he should be getting her some medication instead. Carly will not be scared off by the likes of Phillip....only Vivian apparently. Carly can stand up to everyone but Vivian because Vivian gives her the shakes. Phillip then runs into what a day for him. Basically Chloe needs therapy and it's finally going to happen. Wonder if the therapist is located near a tanning salon and that is why she is going?

Oh YAY! There is still a Hurricane in Santo MARCH! Okay let's all PANIC! Arianna tells Gaby about the non-wedding. If those pearls keep getting close ups this show is getting turned off. Brady tells Nicole he is sorry about everything. However, he thinks it is a bad idea for her to go back to Salem....Never lived there but even I wouldn't go!

Hope is playing that I want Bo back game and Julie has her all figured out. Julie thinks its a good idea if Hope finds Adrienne and makes things right with her..okay this is where Julie's advice turns bad. DUMB MOVE! Leave the woman you annoyed alone!

Nicole is being a cry baby because Brady is not her friend and he is going to be with Arianna. Brady has no time for Nicole...well you have only been out of jail like 5 hours, give the guy a break. Fay interrupts them to tell them about the hurricane. PANIC!!

Phillip and Chloe are talking and he is failing at cheering her up. *whispers* give her candy Phillip! Chloe has no problem with Melanie...but she does with her mother. That self-righteous doctor bitch who went and had a one night stand with a friend after dealing with a horrible husband...the nerve of her!

Daniel explains to Mel what everyone tries to explain about how Carly was trying to save her. Maybe they need to write it down for her because sometimes people understand things better when they read it. Melanie cannot just forgive her...this is a soap opera and we all have to wait until at least 3-6 months from now. And who walks in but that Carly woman....further proving the theory she does not work at all.

Stephanie thinks that Justin loves Adrienne....further proving she is a dumbass. Adrienne explains how much being with Justin sucks. Hope comes in and now the party of bitches is in full swing. My God does anyone own their own coffee machine? Adrienne shuts Hope up, which is why she should stay longer. Hope insists that Justin does not love her and leaves....the only smart thing she just did was leave.

Arianna tells Gaby about the hurricane..PANIC!! Brady comes in apologizing for the wedding and Nicole. He has every intention of finishing what they you think he says that about sex too? Nicole believes Brady still loves her and Fay thinks she is an idiot. Brady goes to get the plane tickets and Arianna sits there talking to herself....even she did not want to listen to herself. Brady runs into Fay and she asks if he has feelings for Nicole. Why oh why did she ask that...what a way to waste another 10 minutes.

Hope tries to talk to Adrienne again. Hope does not know how to leave people alone....Not everyone likes with it! This is what happens when you do not tell men who are interested in you to go away...their wives HATE you!

Hope is still bugging Adrienne, who should file a restraining order at this point. Adrienne explains how selfish Hope is and how this is all really about Bo and her. How many times does she have to be told this before she gets it? Adrienne says to leave her alone and go work things out with Bo...and there goes Hope after Adrienne again. OMG LEAVE HER ALONE!!

Brady explains that he is concerned for Nicole not in love. Arianna interrupts and they leave. Nicole asks Fay what she thinks, and she thinks that Brady DOES love Nicole. Way to encourage your mentally unstable daughter there Fay!!

Chloe does not think Carly is going to be a problem, but then lists the ways that Carly sucks balls. Phillip explains every single way that Carly is a problem in Chloe's life. Basically Phillip just turned on the cold water to kick off the impending wet T-Shirt contest between Carly and Chloe.
Carly is trying to talk to Melanie, but the big words are looking a bit confusing to Melanie. Melanie proceeds to have one of her fits, that looks part seizure, part hissy fit. Carly will not shut up and will never give up on Melanie. Funny because she had no problem giving up on Nicky..where he at??

Hope thinks that Adrienne really needs to try again with Justin. She then apologizes and Adrienne looks like she wants to barf. If I could go to anyone about love advice it would definitely be Hope if I was looking to FUCK EVERYTHING UP!

Everyone is on a plane now out of the Hurricane land. PANIC!! Love how the hurricane does not effect the flight at all. And how did Nicole manage to get a seat in front of the unhappy unmarried couple?

Chloe is now even more paranoid about the whole Carly/Daniel/Melanie situation. Why the hell didn't Phillip just give her a joint to smoke?

Kinsey is working at the pub. First question: How do all these underage kids work in a pub? Next, WHY IS KINSEY STILL ALIVE?? This teen problem is spreading into every work place on this show. Kinsey wonders why Mel and Carly are together after all the crap that went down. How about mind your fucking business?

Hope meets Justin at the PIER. Almost thought we'd go a whole episode without seeing it! Hope admits she is a moron and that she messed up. Little confused in this conversation who the woman is and who the man is because Justin is acting like a whiny bitch. Again who is the man and who is the female?

Carly says Melanie's anger doesn't effect her anymore...but her crying fits scare her. She calls herself MOTHER..and HERE WE GO!! PANIC!!! and there is not even a Hurricane. Well, it's actually Hurricane Melanie....who hit a new level of squeal not heard before. Melanie tells Carly to leave her alone..for like the 9 billionth time. Maybe Carly has a hearing problem and that will be the special twist.

Hope says she has told Justin she does not love him....okay he's deaf too. Justin is mad because Hope made him look like an, no you did that all on your own. Don't be giving Hope credit for something she did not do. Someone give Justin a tampon.

Nicole tells Brady she is going back to Salem. And then she shares with herself that she will never give up on Brady. Most people give up on Brady after meeting him but to each her own. Why go back to Salem though when more than half the town hates you and you are friends with Chloe of all people?

Chloe worries about being in competition with, there is NONE. You lose Chloe. She gets all sappy about the baby stuff again, but she will not let that evil bitch Carly Manning take her man! Guessing she forgot that Carly is with Bo and that Daniel is not all that. She called Carly THAT WOMAN and SLUTTY.....last time I checked it was Carly who has been with more men in town.

Carly says she will leave Mel alone....for like 10 minutes maybe. Melanie says she has one parent and that is just Daniel. Did Melanie learn the birds and the bees or did Trent leave that part out? Melanie leaves after telling Carly she does not exist and Daniel goes after her. Melanie slips a little and then Daniel slips and falls on his ass.....oh wait maybe his head. Smelling a Brady Pub LAWSUIT!!! That is a bunch of blood for a fall like that. Okay that fall....HYSTERICAL how he did a butt flop, yet landed on his head. Melanie is a hot mess and Carly comes to help out.....Daniel might be screwed and not in a good way.

Previews: Sami and Rafe: Sami is annoyed that Rafe shuts her out. Is she serious? From the woman who asked for a break and constantly reminds Rafe he is not Sydney's father? Who also spends every moment with her rapist? Rafe has every right never to speak to Sami again, but he will because the dope loves her.

Chloe and Victor: Why the hell are they even talking to one another? They hate each other's guts. Chloe insists that her and Daniel are fine but Victor thinks otherwise. Loving how Chloe all by herself is sabotaging her relationship with her dad...I mean Daniel. Hoping Victor sets her dumbass straight and makes her a bigger mess than she already is.

Mel and Daniel: She begs him not to leave her. Thought the idea was to make him want to live? Offer him tanning and hair salon trips!!! Tell him that there are boobs everywhere!!! Tell him you will buy him porn....One of those would totally work.

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