All My Parents Edition!

EJ the blinker shows Sami the new ransom note made during craft time. I still think Sydney can make a better Ransom note if only Anna let her try.

Carly calls the hospital and asks about Melanie....they wont tell her. Wow someone was doing their job..wtf. It figures the hospital would be like, "Um Carly Manning....never heard of her" the woman barely works there! Here comes Maggie being a bitch to Carly.....surprise surprise. Someone hates Carly...SHOCKING. Pretty soon Nicky is going to come to town and try to set his mother on fire.

Daniel touches Melanis chin...then his.....Okay that wasn't creepy!! This man does not know HOW to NOT touch his female patients.

Anna talks to dead Tony again about how much EJ sucks....One day Tony will talk back!! God I miss u Tony.

Sami and EJ read the ransom note and are happy. I'm surprised its at their reading level and everything. EJ begins with the loud whispering..an event he has won the Gold Medal in..and Rafe overhears. Then much to our SHOCK....Rafe and Sami have the same convo they always have where Sami ends up just lying in the end...Deja vu gets annoying.

EJ goes on his anti-Rafe rant, and Sami snaps at he in her full on poodle mode. This begs the question...WHY THE HELL are these two idiots fighting over Sami?? She has too many baby daddies!

Carly and Maggie get into a fight..because really someone has their wig on too tight! Maggie basically explains that she loves Melanie like her own daughter, and Carly is just the lady who gave birth. Again Carly is treated like the town bag lady, although with that jacket its no wonder. Maggie explains Trent was a horrible man and Carly cries. I'm just waiting for a bird to eventually shit on Carly in an episode.

Daniel is STILL touching Melanie. He just cannot go through the day without touching women. Melanie assumes the worst and begins her daily freak out. YAYYYY!!! I think a Days drinking game is in order whenever Melanie freaks out...we'd all die of alcohol poisoning but nonetheless lets give it a SHOT!

And here is Rafe and Arianna....or Passions 2.0. Arianna defends EJ, who she plans on hopping into the sack with sometime this summer by my keen estimation.

EJ begins his freak out...in his pink shirt....turning into a Red Lobster. He does this to counteract Sami's redness. He explains how much of a screwup Rafe is....apparently Sami has never met Rafe.

Maggie wants answers from Carly as Carly starts complaining she deprived Melanie of lots of things....including that prescription for Ritalin. Carly admits she is rambling, and thank you for that Captain Obvious. Maggie is even annoyed and is about to leave when....UH OH....she gets dizzy...HEALTH WARNING!

Melanie is not dying, apparently now she is happy to be alive...wow all these changes in a few hours after you want Vivian to kill you.

Rafe notices Arianna has got a thang for EJ. Let's face it *whispers* we all do! Rafe is paranoid, not because he smokes pot, but because he doesn't trust that EJ. Sami goes along with EJ's plot, like there was any doubt?? I miss the smart conniving Sami!

Melanie loved her some Doctor Jonas...unless she means the Jonas brothers, because she probably thinks he is related to them and she's been wanting tickets for a while now.

Anna is having flashbacks now. Salem is the new Vietnam! Sami and EJ continue with their lets not tell Rafe Plot.....I always share special moments like this with my rapist too.

Carly can tell there is something wrong with Maggie, other than her hair I mean. So Maggie tells her she'll be fine and gives Carly that extra parting lecture she does oh so well. Maggie hopes that things work out for Carly...yeah cuz if things don't turn around the lady is gonna get beaten with a rock next for all we know. Carly then texts Daniel...my money is it was really a sexting thing cuz Carly is really bored lately.

Daniel somehow gets outta the hole he dug himself and avoids telling Melanie the truth. He realized that her finding out her real name is Melanie Jonas Kiriakis is just too much ASS to handle. He sees Carly's text and runs to the pub...I would need a drink too.

EJ tells Sami to lie, which is like telling Hope not to eat. DUMB!

It is now Daniel's turn to lecture Carly on the do's and donts of parenting. DO NOT shoot your kid. DO NOT lie to the baby's father. DO change your clothing because your just offending everyone!

Arianna visits Melanie in the hospital. Why?? I have really no idea actually.

Anna has a flashback AGAIN. At this rate we are all going to have meaningless flashbacks in real life too.

Rafe shows up and asks Sami if everything is okay. Her LETS PANIC face doesn't really give her away...this is RAFE we are talking about.

Melanie starts complaining about Carly. Its not fun getting shot are your wedding but Carly CANNOT be forgiven for giving her away as a kid. I mean its CLEAR Larry would have never pimped her out or raped her or...oh wait nevermind he would have.

Meanwhile Ma and Pa who haven't been to work in a while...are still talking about how crappy Carly is. Carly starts with the same story we've all heard, and Daniel is not buying it....the self-tanner he will buy, not the story!

EJ steps in and helps Sami lie to Rafe. This isn't fair at all to Rafe who cannot decipher Sami's lies on his own. Now he is being tag teamed and he wants to cry. Rafe gives Sami flowers so she has something to throw off the pier. I don't think the water can handle the lack of a dead body for too long.

Maggie drops stuff on the floor..thus proving her disease is back. DUN DUN DUNNNNN.

Daniel thinks he could have handled Scary Larry, who was a "mere mortal" Um Daniel would not have stood a chance and there is no such thing as "mere mortal" on this show! Daniel thinks he would have been a great dad, considering Trent was a pimp Danny's got a point! He could have inappropriately touched Melanie all on his own. Daniel basically tells Carly what a horrible woman she is and she should never be forgiven...here comes the loose shingle in the pub that's about to fall on Carly's head. BTW....ONE tear Spillage for Carly.

Anna foreshadows that nothing good is going to happen...her psychic hotline will start next week.

Rafe throws flowers into the river as Sami and EJ both refuse.....there goes NBC's green stance! POLLUTER! And the show ends with the Sami waterworks show. WOOHOO!

Previews: Arianna and Brady talk about how he is still Nicole's bitch. EJ screams at Anna about how AWESOME his plan is. And Rafe and Sami with that lovely argument they always seem to have!