Tuesday, March 16, 2010

As the Staring Continues

Nicole again remembers it was Anna who kidnapped Sydney. No one else uses the term "Sweet Pea" these days, except Anna apparently. Anna should go to the prison and call Nicole "Sweet Pea" really loudly....the fellow inmates would just love to hear Nicole's girlfriend call her that.

Bo lets Phillip know that Carly is going to plead guilty. Phillip thinks that's just a great idea. Is she getting the death penalty too for ACCIDENTALLY shooting someone? In fact, why not hang her while simultaneously giving her the lethal injection, because that is really the only fair thing after all the terrible things Carly has done in town. If anything she should be arrested for Prostitution at that damn PIER......

.....Speaking of PIERS, look its Hope and Carly at the PIER!! Hope is winning the argument and making nasty comments.....next time Carly should challenge Hope to a pie eating contest, because it is the only kind of fight she can really beat her in. Justin walks in, and why does the scene always get annoying when he walks in? Carly lets him know she is pleading guilty...you would think she would have informed her lawyer beforehand of this. Wondering if this means Justin is not getting paid as much.

Stephanie sees Nathan at the hospital and tells him they have to "talk." All they do is talk about their feelings, and how he loves some other woman. Why can't she figure out...He's just not that into you!!! Again, Stephanie mentions Melanie, so clearly she is obsessed with the chick.

Max is finishing up his visit with Melanie...wonder how much he got paid for being on these two episodes? For Max's sake I hope he gets the hell out of Salem and has a happy life. People are always happier when they leave this damn town. Daddy walks in and asks if Melanie wants to go home. Should Daniel really be in charge of Melanie's care at all?? Conflict of Interest..HELLO!

Nicole starts screaming she needs a phone. The guard is laughing at the fact she wants one. Thought prison was supposed to be a bad place to go and get punished. So far Nicole has had booze and lives in a huge cell. Now she is going to get a phone, based on the previews. What the hell is next, a massage and a mani/pedi?

Anna is still on the plane and it still has not taken off. These poor people have been on the tarmac for 4 hours. Anna is excited she finally gets to leave, and she is home free. Maybe on Dawson's Creek Miss Jacobs, but NOT in this town.

Vivian is at the cemetery, ugh at least it is not the PIER. For some reason she feels the need to bury Larry's ashes? This is kind of confusing, but he has his own headstone. It says he was a Loving Husband? Wait...What?? Guessing that Vivian does not know the definition of "loving."

Justin is annoyed with Carly and her decision....hope she never pays his ass. Carly talks alone with Hope, apologizes and thanks her for everything with Melanie. As Carly goes to leave, Hope says she has more to say. Hope ALWAYS has more to say. It is like she has a word quota for every day she is on.

Nicole bribes the guard, the ONLY guard by the way to work at that jail. At first it seemed she was propositioning her with sex, but NAH only offered her cash. Nicole does have boundaries. Thank God.

Bo complains about Vivian and how evil she is. Phillip does not want to hear it, especially since its really cool to diss Carly these days. Phillip insists that Carly out of the way is the best thing for everyone. Okay these people are either nuts or brainwashed.

Stephanie tells Nathan about the letter. She is officially a fucking moron. That is all.

Daniel lets Melanie know she is being released a week early. Guessing that the other nurses are tired of her crying fits. And Hello awkward family time with Daniel. Daniel leaves the room and Melanie comments on how everything is weird between her and Daniel. To be fair to Mel, Daniel is kinda pervy scary. Max says he is leaving and Melanie goes Bipolar right before our eyes. She laughs, then cries, laughs, sobs some more, and then laughs again. Actually that is sort of my reaction when I watch the show. Max tells Melanie she has a mom and dad now and she should deal with it and be happy. Give Daniel a chance......not Carly though, she a crazy bitch.

Vivian talks to the headstone some more. She will get her "pound of flesh"....can Vivian put down the Merchant of Venice? Shakespeare is so 1996.

Hope thinks Carly going to jail solves nothing. Oh God Hope is actually making sense dammit. Carly insists with a weird sentence that she has to do this. Can these two ever start slapping each other? It would be so much more entertaining than this crap.

Anna gets a phone call from a weird area code. Um, that is when you send it to your voicemail!! Nicole is all like "What up gurlllllllll?"

Bo defends Carly to Philip who insults Carly again..and thank you Max for interrupting. Bo is excited to see his little brother, who dates his daughter, who is brother's with Frankie who is Carly's brother, making him Mel's other uncle..and OMG I can go on and on. God bless adoptive family incest. Bo explains life is complicated, you know with all the interfamily marriages and so on. Max knows everything that went on and is actually not judging Bo. It figures the Normal one is not really on the show.

Hope and Carly have a teary heart to heart where Hope says she is really sorry about everything that is happening to Carly. Totally thought they were going to share a hug, and they came kind of close. It was a Kodak moment and then Justin came in blah! He wants Carly to reconsider her plea and she is like listen deaf man...NO!

Melanie asks Daniel if they can never talk about Carly again, basically pretending the woman does not exist. So Melanie was just an immaculate conception without a mommy, Got IT! Even Daniel thinks she is an idiot for suggesting it.

Nicole tells Anna to visit her. Anna is grossed out at the mere suggestion of going to jail...I guess she didn't realize the cabin was dirtier than Nicole's jail. Nicole says that Anna "knows why" she should come. Nicole likes to blackmail someone face to face. I respect that.

Bo is going on and on about him and Hope, and even Max looks confused and bored. He wants to see Chelsea again.....um no let's not. Bo always got into stupid fights with her too. My guess is she does not like getting called "skinny butt" by her father. Eww Bo! He leaves and then Max talks to Phillip. Phillip is aware that Max does not like him, and Max confirms this. Thanks for that moment Days!

Stephanie tells Nathan she did not give him the letter because he did not want to talk about Melanie. So it is ALL Nathan's fault that she did not give him the letter. Nathan throws a hissy fit and wants to know what was in the letter!! TELL ME NOW!!

Daniel and Melanie argue about Carly and how stupid Melanie's idea is. Daniel actually defends Carly, and its so strange to hear someone defend her after all the backlash. Melanie wonders what would have happened if Carly did not give her away. My guess: Larry would have raped her, pimped her, put his cigarettes out on her head..oh wait basically what Trent did. Daniel probably would have been killed. YEAH!

Hope visits Zack's grave and bumps into Vivian who is still dry humping Larry's grave. Vivian compares Zack to Larry, RUDE! Hope then craps on Larry's grave and memory.

Carly has Melanie bonding session flashbacks. Oh those three scenes where they were nice to each other was so much fun. Can we get more of those maybe? Carly is upset that they spent such a short time together. Well it freaking dragged on and on for us dude.

Anna says she is not visiting. Nicole says she will. Anna will come. The writing in the scene is riveting and I may have cried a little.

Stephanie tells the truth, okay no she lies and says she did not read the letter. She told Melanie that Nathan did not want to read it. Who told her that telling the truth was a good idea? Nathan is now angry, and his face is basically the same expression he always has.

Melanie plans a family outing with Daniel and Chloe. Ewww do not invite Chloe! She slept with your husband...ewwww! She wants to know everything about Daniel to help figure out who she is. Um, that makes absolutely NO sense. Maybe if she buries herself alive she can relate to her mom while she is at it. Daniel then gets a phone call from Justin and says "Oh God." Justin likes to talk dirty on the phone and breathe heavy I bet.

Vivian defends Larry, and Hope gets all cranky. Had Hope actually met Larry she probably would have gotten raped too. Tip Vivian: Do Not defend the man who raped the lady you are talking to's favorite cousin, Jennifer. Vivian goes off on Carly and how Hope should be happy. Hope lets her know Carly is pleading guilty. Vivian then gets all euphoric over the news...she might have smoked a blunt before getting to the cemetery.

The hearing is getting ready to start. Bo walks in and tells everyone that Carly is NOT pleading guilty. Bo is such a take charge kind of guy.

Nicole gets a visitor and its her mom Fay. Fay is weirded out that Nicole is so happy. Listen, you created the psychopath, the least you can do is support her madness and bitchiness.

Max and Phillip talk about how Phillip is a douche bag. Then he brings up Stephanie and how Phillip ruined things with her. My guess is Max watched the Melanie and Phillip sex tape. EWWW.

Nathan is pissed at Stephanie for lying. I am pissed at Nathan for that FUGLY offensive hair. She shouts that she did what she thought was right. Nathan rushes out of there and yes he runs like a girl. Move on, Stephanie.

Bo and Carly argue about her decision. Carly compares herself to God...btw God hates her too. She admits she has been selfish, that she has hurt people's feelings, and that she should pay for her mistakes. Carly hates herself more than the rest of the town does. That makes perfect sense. Get yourself some anti-depressants Manning.

Melanie gets changed into a purple number. Daniel tells her that Carly is pleading guilty and she is the only one who can change things. Melanie pulls her freak out maneuver. She is not ready to save Carly yet. She should call and have them postpone the hearing until she is good and ready to talk. Does anyone know if Carly smoked pot or drank while pregnant? Just curious.

Max is at the PIER...my God no one is safe from that place. Max and Stephanie chat about her problems. This poor guy is in town for like two hours and everyone decides to annoy him with their problems.

Carly's hearing begins. Carly changes her plea to guilty. She should get in trouble for NOT standing when talking to the judge. The D.A. asks that she receive the maximum sentence. In Salem, that means two months. She finally stands as the judge is about to sentence her.

Vivian admits to seeing a psychic. I'd ask for my money back Viv. She thinks Hope should be happy that Carly is out of the picture. Hope does not get off on people being unhappy.....she only enjoys when she is the unhappy one! Vivian calls her "Miss Holier than Thou." Glad someone finally picked up on that!

Nicole and Fay fight over Nicole's behavior. This is not family bonding time in prison. Nicole is popular and gets another visitor. This time its ANNA. Nicole is all smiles at seeing her. While Nicole is working favors in jail, can someone get the girl some makeup and a brush..Jesus!

Stephanie does not regret telling the truth to Nathan. She is clearly delusional. Nathan rushes to see Melanie, but Daniel mentions she was discharged. Phillip walks in and asks what Nathan is doing there. As Melanie's dad, Daniel should kick the shit out of both of these guys.

Vivian is still sitting by that damn tombstone. They need to get her a hobby. Is there anyone else she can kill or torment? Kate is still out there dammit.

The judge starts to read Carly's sentence and Melanie walks in the room really loudly. Everyone starts staring at one another. If we did shots every time someone stared at the other today....we'd all be dead.

Anna just sits there and is waiting for Nicole to say something. Anna even says, "are u just going to STARE?" Then Nicole quotes Sami, the most eloquent speaker on the show, and says to Anna: "You bitch, you stole my daughter." Anna peed a little.

Previews: Kate tells Stefano she thinks she knows how he can see Sydney. Sydney cannot catch a break. Hopefully, Kate commissions a grand portrait of the baby ala Stefano in the corner of the room. She can even have a cigar in her mouth and a baby bottle filled with Jack!

Nicole accuses Anna of taking the baby to get back at her. Well that is very VAIN. Anna clearly stole Sydney because babies are the hot new accessory of 2010.

Melanie announces she has something to say at the hearing. Then everyone keeps STARING at each other. It would be fun if she just started screaming, "Hang the bitch!"

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