The Boring and the Bogus

Rafe is on the phone...he is way too popular these days. For all these phone calls he learns absolutely nothing and has no friends. EJ walks in and mentions the BREAK. Rafe thankfully would rather talk about Anna.....if they bring up the boots the audience should stage a coup.

Kate tells Stefano to take his medication...can he pass some along to us because this is gonna be a long one? He would not need drugs if Nicole was still behind bars. Kate says if Nicole is smart she will stay away from Salem...famous last words. Stefano gets all mushy with Kate...um those drugs must kick in fast.

Brady tells Nicole to shut up again, and asks Ari if she still wants to marry him. Ari says yes but Nicole butts in again, and then Brady threatens to kick her butt. Can we at least change it up and say "ass" or is that not allowed in Daytime? Arianna comments that Nicole had her tongue down Brady's throat...um, SHE DID NOT! Seriously recalling that kiss, it was just a peck on the lips before the crazy brunette jumped in. Bottom Line for Arianna is that if Nicole is around then she does not want to marry Brady. That is a dumb reason, Do Not marry Brady because he is a moron, not because of Nicole.

Will visits his Grandma Kate and returns the gifts she brought him. Stefano feels bad Will was punished for actually doing NOTHING wrong. EJ probably threw will under the bus like the jackass he is. Will and Stefano should bond, and then we find out Chad is a DiMera and it ruins it all. Why do I not write for this show again??

Rafe still cannot figure out why Anna would kidnap Sydney and fake her death. EJ is pretending to be clueless, and Rafe points out that Anna was not working alone. How the hell did Rafe put that together??

Brady and Arianna are apparently the new Nathan and Stephanie...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Even Nicole is bored by them. This scene needs mouth to mouth because it is dying. Then Brady says quite possibly the dumbest thing ever. He wants to be married to Ari and Nicole's "friend." Men everywhere just smacked themselves in the head for Brady. Brady plans on ignoring Nicole...that would be like ignoring an oncoming train. Somehow Arianna falls for his shit and agrees to marry him. Hopefully Nicole is witnessing the dumbass that is Brady and changes her mind.

Just when it could not possibly get any worse.......Mia! Oh, the little slut Mia is on today. The little nympho tells Chad she broke up with Will....LIES Will broke up with you. Apparently Chad is the one she wants, until the Justin Bieber concert rolls into town. They start making out....don't they have jobs?? Where is the boss? Fire them! Gaby tries ordering some coffee....Why or why is she dumb enough to even go there? Does anyone even feel bad for this girl...besides family members?

Kate tries to play it off like she did not try to bribe Will. Maybe we would all like Will more if he cut his hair. He says that everyone is mad at Stefano/Kate and that EJ called him a "bloody bastard." Well in theory EJ is correct..but that is just a bastard calling another bastard..Bastard! Stefano is angered that Elivis did that...yeah because EJ himself IS A BASTARD. Susan was not married when she had him....by the way where the hell is Susan?

Rafe says someone had to be watching the baby when she was out and about. EJ thinks he might be right. So help me God EJ better get caught sometime this year.

Brady and Ari kiss and make up, and decide it's time to get married so they look for that dude who will marry them. Nicole starts boozing it up...which is why she is amazing! The Justice comes in and she kind of starts flirting with him. My God woman you have not been in prison long enough to want THAT guy.

Stefano decides that he is going to give EJ a lecture when he gets the chance. Kate looked sort of happy...hard to tell with the lack of facial movement. Rafe begins to think that Anna is not smart enough to plan all this. EJ comes up with some more lame shit, but Rafe says it does not matter because Anna AND her accomplice will be caught. *YELLS* He is in FRONT of YOU!!

Nicole is hitting on this guy. Ewww. Thankfully, and don't ask me how...Fay comes in and breaks the whole thing up. Nicole wonders what the hell Fay is doing there. Fay has brought her money?! Um, WHY would you bring her money when she told you she wanted NOTHING to do with you?? The Justice overhears that Nicole was in prison, then overhears about the kidnapping, and then the DiMeras. This guy just got schooled in all things Days in about a minute. It takes the audience about 6 months to gain the knowledge he just got...be thankful Dude and move on! Nicole says Stefano will not hurt her and Fay realizes that she knows who took the baby. Is it just me or do people get smarter when they are NOT in Salem?

Will tells Kate that he dumped Mia. Kate talks about how wonderful Will is...Forgot how good a liar this woman really is! Will says he does not have much faith in finding love. Well that is because your mother has been married about 8 times and your dad about the same. Falling in love is actually kind of easy if you think about it.

Fay yells at Nicole for hitting on this guy. Well yeah EWWWW. Seriously EW...go surfing or something. The dude leaves to go perform the ceremony. Nicole is annoyed she cannot stop the wedding now, and Fay is annoyed that Nicole wants to stop a wedding. Listen, you uncrossed your legs and had her Fay...don't get all bitchy now. Nicole says that Brady is the one for her....She can totally do better!

Brady and Ari walk in and Nicole congratulates them. Brady introduces Fay to his FIANCEE. Nicole wonders if the couple did not go through with it. Who cares really?? Like a marriage certificate is going to stop Nicole from going after Brady.

Taylor and Selena go back and forth. These two need bitch lessons from their elders because they ain't cutting it! Gaby points out that Will dumped her, but Mia still has Chad so just shut up!

Brady and Ari could not get married because of flooding. The wedding is being relocated due to the weather. Fay reminds the audience all the bad things Nicole did to EJ...yeah, but those things we enjoyed! Nicole is now doing the same thing with Brady, but this time the guy she is going after really does love her. Yeah, that is why he is in the room with Arianna and not you! Crap we have to hear the Peals Never Lie story again. Arianna is now changing her mind about getting married. Where is that Nicole speediness we have been seeing...we can use that RIGHT NOW!!

Will is leaving as EJ is coming into the mansion. Rafe questions Stefano about Anna and her involvement with Sydney's kidnapping. Stefano is as confused as ever. This dumb Stefano routine is getting old. He needs a shot of espresso and his balls back please!

Mia pours salt in Gaby's coffee. Okay that was funny...and I can neither confirm nor deny that I have done that myself. Chad overheard everything because this whole town has bionic hearing skills. He realizes that is was Will that dumped Mia and not the other way around. Mia calls Gaby a liar, but Chad can see right through Mia's bangs and into those doe eyes full of sluttiness. Chad leaves and Mia runs after him. Really hope that THIS gets them fired because they did not even punch out or ask for a break!

Stefano is still surprised that is was Anna who kidnapped Sydney. EJ starts attacking him and accusing him of being the accomplice. Even though they are related...Stefano needs to string this jackass of a son up by his balls.

Nicole asks her mom if she should be like her and marry a wife beating rapist....well EJ is still available you know! Brady is always there for her, so she loves him. I'm convinced a puppy can do the same things that Brady does for Nicole. Fay says if she loves Brady then she will let him go. Next time send the girl a Hallmark card...it would have had a better expression.

Brady thinks Arianna has cold feet. With her lack of clothing seriously doubt she has cold anything. And now that ugly dress is completely off. They are going to have sex. This episode has officially hit that point of USELESS!

Stefano tells Kate that they suspect Anna as the kidnapper. Stefano insists that he had nothing to do with kidnapping the baby. While feeling bad for Stefano, one must also realize that if it wasn't for all those kidnappings, murder plots, brainwashing, and fake death schemes..no one would suspect him. Logically he should be the first suspect, but at this point...STOP BLAMING STEFANO FOR EVERYTHING!

Mia pulls out the dead baby card. Here we go! Chad yells at her for bringing up that again. He blames the whole dead baby thing on her too. Let's blame all the dead babies in the world on Mia..it is fun! Awww Mia is left all alone and now she has no one to spend time with but herself. *Crossing Fingers* for potential suicide attempt.

Fay thinks Nicole can be happy! Nicole wants to be happy!! She is going to start a new life.....as long as it does not involve a wig then she has our full support. Brady and Ari are finally done. Ew. Just Ew Already. Now they are going to get married again. Going to guess the Catholic Church did not endorse this episode with all the premarital sex RIGHT BEFORE the wedding ceremony.

Rafe believes Stefano...about friggin' time someone did. EJ cannot figure out who it was then that was working with Anna. This EJ act is not so much fun to watch. Rafe is going to go to Santo Domingo to question Nicole. Wonder if he will give Arianna away? At the speed the planes fly in Salem..Rafe could totally make it in time! Meanwhile, Fay is shocked that Nicole is listening to her...um, this should be your first inkling that she is LYING to you!

Rafe gets a phone call..AGAIN. Perhaps Rafe is also a victim of the Telemarketing industry. Stefano is annoyed with EJ for thinking he kidnapped Sydney. Kate interrupts them and Rafe comes in to announce he is NOT going to Santo Domingo. Perhaps the FBI is tired of paying for Rafe's shit. Brady and Arianna are told by the Justice that something shocking is happening..Is it that this show is finally over??

Anna looks comfortable wherever she be at..and with that DUDE in her room. Stefano cannot believe Anna would be capable of all this. Kate suggests that she was not the Brains of the operation. Of all people..it is KATE to point this out.

Previews: Hope says she messed up big time. Did Hope just admit she is not Perfect?? Is it possible? Listen whether she messed up or not...just FEED THE WOMAN! She needs to take a good look at the full figured women in her town.

Melanie and Daniel: She tells him that he cannot forgive her. Gee. Wonder if they talking about Carly? DUH! Melanie needs to get over shit and just say okay I have a mother who hangs out at a PIER with her married boyfriend who might be going through a mid life crisis. Could be worse...Hope could be your mom!


Phillip and Carly: He tells her Melanie does not want Carly in her life so Carly should stay out of it. See to Carly that is like an open invitation to smother her daughter even more. Bad Move Phillip! Now Carly is going to pitch a tent outside Maggie's house and follow Melanie around everywhere. Carly should buy her things...buying children's love always works. Melanie needs some new Hello Kitty merchandise like no one's business.