Guiding Rafe......Through a Forest

EJ walks in and turns those frowns upside down! The Brady family is shocked that Sydney is back, alive and well. The baby has "died" 3 times and came back...watch out Stefano!

Stephanie remembers ripping up the letter for the 80th time. Listen if you want me to support you being a bitch, quit whining and having a conscience....I don't like it!

Nathan runs onto the.....PIER!..I mean where else would you find Carly Manning these days? He starts his lecture. Just off screen is a crowd of people standing in line with bats to take a whack at the good doctor. They are chanting 'GET HER NATHAN, GET THAT CARLY MANNING"

Chloe is with Philip talking....all I notice is her cleavage. HELLO! She tells Phil that Daniel is Melanie's father. His look of disbelief is very WHOMP WHOMP. Meanwhile Daniel tells Melanie that he is her father. He did not come with any Hello Kitty gifts so she tells him to get out.

Sydney is finally home. Even the guy who says the Days intro sounds relieved. like PHEWWW Like sand through the hourglass...thank God that baby got returned.

Mel wants Daniel to leave her room. It is just too much of a shock that a man that hairy is her father. She is angry Daniel did not tell her sooner he was her father. I guess she missed the part of the story where he lets her know he JUST found out yesterday!

Family Reunion. Here comes Caroline and Roman from their crypts. It's so exciting when they let them out on non-holidays, weddings, or funerals. Rafe is so excited that he wants to hear EJ tell the story of how in the hell did he find Sydney. EJ just soiled himself a little. EJ's story is that he found Sydney in the forest. Apparently Sydney was stolen by Robin Hood. WTF?

Philip learns Melanie is Daniel's daughter and is like DAMN he banged Carly too, that lucky bastard! Chloe gets all upset about the situation, so Philip runs over and cops a feel.

Its takes Melanie about 5 seconds to forgive Daniel...and why have we not checked her for ADD yet? Daniel tells her the "I didn't wear a Condom story" that every young girl wants to here her father tell. Melanie wonders if after everything Carly has done, can Daniel hate Carly as much as she does? Well I WILL ANSWER FOR HIM: Let's HOG TIE THE BITCH!

Carly rips into Nathan as being a nobody!! Thank you!! Carly wonders where the hell Nathan has been and why on Earth this is any of his business. I think the REAL question is who the hell let Carly apply her makeup again. EWW.

EJ says he acted alone and lies some more. Roman mumbles that a hospital trip would be good for Syndey. Yeah cuz let's let the baby out of our sight another time. Again Rafe starts with the questioning, and EJ offers to draw him a map...CRAFT TIME. Rafe admits he is going to continue being a huge pain in the ass and will not drop the who kidnapped Sydney case.

Nathan defends himself really badly. WOW Carly is actually winning a fight, that's what a wimpy ass nerd Nathan is. She lectures him for not checking his messages, or his twitter, or his facebook, or his Myspace page because messages were left on ALL of those social networking sites. Carly then apologizes because she is dumb, and then Nathan apologizes. If these two become friends I may sue the show. Hopefully one pushes the other off the PIER.

Daniel says something and cheers up Melanie for about one second. Then Melanie does that charming whining, crying, bratty I'm gonna explode with emotion because I hate Carly look. Daniel wants to really forget about Carly and move on. Melanie wants to know if he even wants children....my guess is now NO. Daniel explains he did want children when he was young. He really wants to get to know Melanie......after his scheduled vasectomy scheduled for later that day.

Rafe and Roman are so macho and run off to the forest. I myself was turned on by the throwing their coats on and running out the door. I expect the Salem PD calendar out by Xmas 2010. Sami is so happy that Sydney is back, and she plans on paying back EJ......with lots of sexxxxxxx. Caroline is so happy to see the baby she too will bang EJ!

Melanie is happy that Daniel was her sperm donor. Daniel wants a chance to prove himself and they both admit they feel a connection with one another. It is called stupidity and apparently its hereditary.

Carly does not understand what Nathan is talking about.....NOT the only one. Nathan leaves, and on the way out tags his partner Chloe who is ready to give Carly the verbal smackdown. Something tells me this will not end in a makeout session. I am seriously wondering if this Carly hatred is going to lead to a Suicidal Carly storyline.

Rafe and the cops are going through the Salem Forest. Apparently this Forest is full of rocks and bushes. I wonder if Carly is going to start roaming there for a while, as it is roomy and seems like a place where one can hide to contemplate how everyone hates you. Sami and EJ are at the mansion and Sydney says DADDA. I'm convinced one of the actors did the voiceover, cuz Sydney sounded very much like Chloe. This freaks Sami....and the rest of the audience at home out. Would have been funnier if she said "Kidnapper"

Stephanie wants to talk to her Grandma Caroline about the weekend full of sexual situations she had with Nathan. My Grandmother and I always have this talk too. She thinks it is better maybe to let her grandma know instead that she's a horrible person....good move.

Melanie goes on and on about genetics and how she did not look like Trent. She notices that her and Daniel do look alike and then they fondle their own chins. It is actually really cute, and we are all glad that Melanie did not inherit Daniel's stubble. Philip walks in, Daniel leaves, and Melanie explains that he is her father. Philip says he knows and here comes the Melanie Freak out!!! WHYYYYYY WOULDDD CARRRLLLYYY GIVEEEEE MEEEE AWAYYYYYYYYYY.....I think someone had such a bad case of colic that Carly had no choice.

Chloe lectures Carly about how horrible she is for giving up her baby. Chloe is going to win the argument because her hair and makeup are better, and her outfit is not visually offensive.

Roman is pissed when he finds out Sami did NOT take Sydney to the hospital. Meanwhile, EJ and Sami are having bonding time with their kids. If Sami calls EJ her hero one more time I'm going to get that "Holding Out for a HERO" song stuck in my head.

Chloe used the big word "patronize" in her fight with Carly. It worked because it even caught Carly by surprise. Daniel walks in and breaks up the lame chick fight. Carly wants to know how things went with Melanie. Daniel is like "I'm not sharing anything with you bitch!" and now CARLY is crying and leaves. So we know where Melanie gets that. Chloe turns to Daniel and like a 5year old she screeches TELL ME!!! He is actually more worried about how she is handling anything. He can tell things are not fine...she's missed tanning sessions.

Caroline is listening to Stephanie talk about she is an evil bitch. Caroline has that look on her face like why are all my grandkids so fucked up.

Philip listens to Melanie rant about Carly again, and how great a dad Daniel could be, and how she has NO family. He reminds her that they were married. OOPS. Then they get lovey dovey and Melanie has that "Maybe I should not have married you face cause I love this other doofus" face.

EJ asks Sami to move her whole family into the mansion. Sami looks severely disgusted and confused by the suggesting. Speaking of the confused here comes Rafe. Rafe yells at the two of them for not bringing Sydney to the hospital. Also, "No Worries" is the phrase of the day.

Stephanie mentions that Melanie is mad at her for dating Nathan. Will says Allie fell asleep. I bet she was listening to Stephanie tell that freaking story. Nathan is at the hospital just standing around staring at Melanie's door like an idiot.

Melanie tells Phil she has no regrets. Philip has been house hunting. I'm glad my husband is going shopping while I'm up in my hospital bed with a gun shot wound. Maxine visits Melanie, she sassy! I'm guessing the writers forgot that Maxine thought Melanie was obnoxious. Melanie's phone rings and its CARLY!!! Melanie is very upset Carly is wasting her minutes. Whatever happened with Daniel is none of Carly's business, and she is sick of listening to Carly talk. Carly says: "I know you need love....we all do". Carly needs to stop listening to the Beatles and buy a bag of SHUT THE FUCK UP.

EJ tells Sami he will lie for her. Sami does not think that is the best idea, but EJ insists Rafe will never find out that Sami knew about the ransom. Shockingly, Rafe ACTUALLY overhears everything. This rarely happens people!!

Chloe is happy that she now finally gets to be there for Daniel after he has cared for her. She knows he will be a great dad. And here comes the crying again and groping. Are there ANY strong women on the show that do not have mental breakdowns.?

Melanie wants to be loved, but NOT from Carly. Plus the visits to jail are really inconvenient. Carly insists that "Love just doesn't disappear because you can't see someone" Melanie wants to know if Carly read that from a Hallmark card. Carly then dumps all the Hallmark cards she has on her in the trash, and tells Mel she will never stop loving her. All of this is USELESS and here comes the Melanie breakdown..this might be a record for ONE episode.

Stephanie tells Philip about Sydney being found and how she cannot find Nathan. He is actually touching a freaking out Melanie's Shoulder!! Nathan touching me would drive me to hysterics too.

Rafe says that Sami knew about the Ransom and did not say anything. He does not care about the baby being alive, no, but not tell about that RANSOM. These BASTARDS!

Previews: Nathan and Melanie chat about letters: I feel the show has stationary issues. People are writing letters, they get ripped up. There are notes slid under doors. Carly is reciting Hallmark Cards. Pick up your phones and call/text someone.

Stefano/Kate: He tells her someone will beg for death. Apparently he is torturing someone with Days episodes.

Sami/Rafe: She knows Rafe must be angry for lying to her again. Rafe then joins a support group where he meets once a week with Austin, Lucas, Brandon, and EJ. They have journals and read aloud about how horrible Sami is. There may also be a burn book.